Benefits Of Gratitude On Emotional & Physical Wellbeing

Welcome to Living Simply,

A guide to mindful living and mindful parenting with your host,

Dr.

Gina.

Hey,

Everybody.

Welcome to Living Simply with Dr.

Gina Maggiorano.

Gina,

How are you today?

I'm super hot.

It's really hot today in Ottawa.

All right.

Yeah.

Very nice.

Very nice.

I'm also joined,

As always,

By Crystal Tubbs.

Crystal,

How are you?

Doing good.

Not hot.

It's actually not hot in Colorado today.

All right.

I don't remember if I went outside today or not.

So as is the.

.

.

No,

I did.

I did.

I did go outside for a while and it was fine.

It was very comfortable.

So I'm comfortable in Rhode Island.

What a weird way to start this show.

What's happening?

What are we doing?

What are we talking about?

We were waiting for you and I was like,

Why am I so hot?

And the house is like 26.

I forgot there was going to be a heat wave,

So it's really warm in my house.

26 would be incredibly cold for us.

Yeah.

It's probably like 78 in Fahrenheit,

Somewhere in there.

Yeah.

Times two plus 32,

So probably hotter than 78.

So what are we talking about today?

Well,

We always end our show with gratitude.

And at the end,

You always tell me to remind people why I do that.

And I try to be brief and succinct.

And I thought,

Why not do a whole show on gratitude and why it's so important?

So we're going to talk about the benefits of gratitude on emotional and physical wellbeing.

I love it.

I think that that's amazing.

So let's start with why do we do,

Why do we practice gratitude?

Because it's good for you,

Ben.

And in you go.

That's it.

We're done.

So I made a list because there's so many benefits and it's based on research.

So it's not just woo-woo fantasy.

There's really a whole bunch of science behind it,

Looking at it.

And I created a little e-books of people want to look at the science at the end of the show.

I don't want to bore people with a list of authors.

So what I thought I could do is start with the physical,

Some physical benefits and we could start there.

Yeah,

Go ahead.

Right.

So,

For example,

People practice gratitude and later on we can explain how do we practice gratitude.

They don't get sick as often.

They have lower blood pressure.

They exercise more often.

They sleep longer and when they wake up,

They feel more refreshed.

They have better immune systems,

Fewer aches and pains,

And they take better care of their health.

So I thought those were some of the benefits I found and I thought that was pretty amazing.

And I've seen those benefits in happiness research.

Sounds like gratitude could be life changing.

Yeah.

But it goes beyond and that's what we'll talk about after.

It goes beyond the right three things are grateful for in the morning because that's not sufficient.

Okay.

Do you want me to go over the… Well,

Ouch,

Because that's what I do,

Gina,

So I feel attacked.

Continue.

Okay,

So I'll give a few emotional psychological benefits.

So overall,

They experience more happiness,

Joy and pleasure on a daily basis.

They feel more awake overall and energetic throughout the day.

They have improved social lives in a way that they're more willing to forgive others.

They feel less lonely and isolated.

They're more likely to help other people and they're more likely to behave in generous and compassionate ways.

And that's how it improves their social lives.

So those are some of the multiple benefits on mental and physical health of gratitude.

Awesome.

Yes,

Crystal?

Oh,

Thanks.

Thanks for calling on me.

No,

I'm curious because you said that say like writing three things you're grateful for in the morning or at night or something isn't sufficient.

Why not?

Like why is it better?

It depends how you apply it throughout your day so you can write three things you're grateful for in the morning and at night and complain all day,

Be a glass half empty person and only look at the dark side of things.

And you're grateful two minutes in the morning or two minutes at night.

That won't transform your life.

So a real practice and complete practice of gratitude,

You literally shift your mindset throughout the day.

So example,

If I catch myself complaining,

Oh my gosh,

It's so hot.

Well,

Right away,

I want to shift it to,

Well,

I'm lucky it's hot in Canada.

I live in a nice home.

I can cool down.

So you shift the complaint into a grateful thought.

And if you do that throughout the day,

You reduce negative thinking,

Which causes stress,

Cortisol,

Which impacts your immune system,

Impacts your mood.

So it's literally living with an attitude of gratitude versus doing it a couple of minutes a day and it's catching yourself when you're not grateful or,

You know,

Recognizing that things can actually be worse.

They're not that bad.

Does it make sense?

It does.

Hold on,

Ben.

I have more to say this time.

I mean,

I know there have been periods in my life.

Oh,

I see how it is.

Periods in my life where,

You know,

I was just so depressed or so wrapped up in what was going on.

Maybe those two minutes in the morning or two minutes at night was kind of all I could do.

I mean,

Is that a good way to start?

And then you can build from there,

But don't stay there kind of thing.

Yeah,

Totally.

It's actually that's where it's ideal to start,

Because if you do it at night,

Let's say you go to bed realizing your day doesn't have to be all that bad.

And if you do it first thing in the morning,

It sets you up for a positive attitude to start your day and you build up on that.

So it's no different than practicing mindfulness or meditation.

It's better to start small and build on that and do more and more.

Just like you said,

You don't just think that little gesture will transform your whole life.

But it is good to start there.

Like,

I won't knock that down at all.

Right.

But there's a really good journal.

I think it's called the Five Minute Journal,

Because there's also the five second journal.

But I think it's the five minute journal,

Which is pretty good because it sets you up for your whole day,

What you're grateful for and how to plan for your day.

And that at night,

You're accountable to yourself.

So it forces you to pay attention to your thinking throughout the day.

So it is a good place to start.

Yeah,

The five minute journal is what I use.

I literally use the five minute journal app on my phone,

Although I know that there are different benefits to handwriting out your thoughts than to typing them.

But yeah,

So I use the five minute journal and it starts with three things that you're grateful for for the day.

Three things that you're going to do to make today great.

And then a daily affirmation.

And then at night you have to do three things that made today great.

And three things that you could do better or whatever it was.

So we have a comment.

Hello from Montreal.

I am very grateful to Dr.

Gina for her wisdom and getting us to live my day to day life with intention.

Thank you,

Annie.

Thank you,

Annie.

That's awesome.

So yeah,

The practicing gratitude,

I know that when I personally am not in a state of practicing gratitude,

I get like ornery.

Like I'm not very grumpy.

Yeah,

Yeah.

Like,

I think that when I'm not being conscious of living from a place of gratitude,

I can get very,

You know,

It's like the Snickers commercials.

You know,

Where.

.

.

You're a little angry.

Yeah.

Well,

It's like,

Or,

You know,

You're a completely different person.

When I'm not in the space of being grateful for things,

Then I can definitely like flip a switch and,

You know,

Get angry easier or get frustrated easier or,

You know,

The negative self-talk,

Stuff like that.

And it's easy.

It's really easy to slip down that rabbit hole instead of lifting yourself up or feeling good about the things that you have when you're not actively practicing gratitude and focusing on the things that you're grateful for.

Yeah,

And it can really change your mood.

Like a few thoughts and you're in a bad mood,

You're depressed,

You're victimized,

The whole world's against you.

Yeah.

It's really easy.

That's why I love doing mindset work because it's really easy to shift your mood just by shifting your thoughts.

Yeah.

Ouch.

So,

But for real,

Earlier today,

I was in a different headspace and I wasn't feeling grateful about things and then like a moment switched and I remembered all of the good things that I was really happy about.

And it like everything shifted.

Like literally your entire focus shifts when you switch to gratitude,

Which is really nice.

Oh,

Sorry.

I thought you were done.

No,

No,

No.

I'm done.

Okay.

An example is if you're stuck in traffic,

You can easily go,

Ah,

Stupid traffic.

If you live in gratitude,

You can go,

Well,

This is a great pause after work.

I can listen to a good podcast and I don't have time to listen to or whatever,

Wherever your mind wants to go.

You can transform an experience that you could complain about into an experience that's not as bad.

Yeah.

Just by shifting to gratitude.

Didn't you,

Was gratitude the thing that you were talking about with the doorways?

Mindfulness.

Oh,

Okay.

But you can use it for gratitude.

The doorway is just a cue or a reminder,

But yeah,

It's also a good way to cue yourself.

What are you grateful for in that moment?

And really,

I try to use it for everything.

As I drink a lot of water,

So I'm always in the bathroom and the minute I'm about to complain,

Ah,

Not again because I'm interrupted,

I'm in the flow and working,

Right away I shift it.

Well,

I'm lucky I get to go to the bathroom.

Some people aren't as lucky and they have a bag.

I know there's a better word for that.

There's a medical term for that bag for people who had kidney cancer.

So that's a coloscopy bag.

That's I mean,

That's one of them.

Yeah,

That's for the catheter.

Whatever.

It doesn't matter.

But do you see what I mean?

It's not an exciting task to go to the washroom,

But it's a privilege.

When you're healthy,

You get to go.

So it's a reminder to be grateful that I am healthy.

So it's so easy to shift all the time.

Even rejection.

Someone's rejecting you.

Of course it hurts and you grieve,

But you got to trust,

Well,

It's because there's something better waiting for me.

This person wasn't meant to be my friend or wasn't meant to be my partner.

It's not to be like Pollyanna,

You said last time,

And unrealistic,

But it's how not to go down the rabbit hole and become irreparably depressed and suicidal.

You can shift anything while being realistic,

Not blindly optimistic that it makes no sense.

Why are you laughing,

Ben?

Because I definitely can be blindly unrealistic to the point where it makes no sense.

Can't we all though?

Can't we all?

Yeah.

But I think that that's great.

When I ideally,

Right,

So I don't do this enough,

But ideally,

Any time that I am in that negative head space for too long,

The way that I try to get out of it,

And this was an unconscious thing that I've just done my entire life,

Is to try to focus on being grateful for whatever.

And that was always there for a really long time.

It was,

You know,

Everybody's healthy,

At least everybody's healthy.

Like,

You know,

Anything,

We can get through anything,

You know,

As long as everybody's healthy or everybody's alive or whatever.

And some of those things have changed,

But the main point of it being that there's always something to be grateful for.

So there's always something to redirect your mind to.

And so how would you say,

Like,

Do you think that it's really important to start your day with the plan for gratefulness?

Yeah,

I think it's important to start and end your day that way,

Ideally.

And honestly,

You do it in a journal,

It takes a bit longer,

But even the journal,

It's maybe two minutes in the morning,

Two minutes at night.

But if you do it in your head,

It could literally take 20 seconds.

And what really works well,

Also I find when you're grateful so that you're not just robotically repeating things,

Is to push it a bit further and tell yourself why you're grateful.

Not just,

Oh,

I'm grateful for my health.

It won't connect emotionally.

I'm grateful for my health because it allows me to go walk the dogs.

It allows me to sleep well.

It allows me to walk freely outside.

So when you say what you're grateful for and why you're grateful for it,

It really connects to you emotionally than just repeating those words without really thinking about it.

And what I find too is helpful.

I tell my clients,

Come up with something new every day.

And when you're really down and depressed,

Go to the simplest.

I'm lucky I have running water.

I think it's like 90% of the world doesn't have drinkable water.

We literally shower and go to the bathroom and drinking water.

Most the most the world doesn't have that privilege.

So when people run out of ideas,

I go down to the simplest form.

You have shelter.

Not everyone has shelter.

We're just the white privilege.

Just the fact that you're white.

You have privilege that you didn't even earn just because of the color of your skin.

Not everyone has that.

So if people practice gratitude and they change what they're grateful for every day,

It permeates your whole life.

And then it has more meaning.

I'm kind of curious what advice you have for people who can't even like maybe like,

OK,

Yeah,

I'm grateful for my clean running water,

Indoor plumbing or something,

But they're not really feeling it.

Like I've been in those spaces where I've tried and I'm just like,

You know,

That's not happening today.

Like,

Sure,

Go out of have a house.

My life is still crap.

Everything is on fire.

Like,

How do you kind of use this practice as a way to move out of that?

If you're also stuck in that negative mindset?

Well,

Then it's to shift from the negative mindset,

Not with gratitude,

But literally coming back to mindfulness.

So usually if someone's depressed and they're thinking of regrets,

Resentments,

Stuff that happened in the past.

So then you come back to the present moment and even if you would hate your house and your life in this minute,

Nothing wrong is happening.

And it's literally to get out of your head,

Basically,

And into your life.

Just if you practice gratitude and then you're hooked on your negative mindset,

That won't help because then you need self-awareness.

Look where I'm going in my head.

And that's what's making it worse.

And if a person really can't do that,

Then they should get a therapist because I've seen clients who are depressed.

It's really hard to get out of that hole by themselves.

Makes sense.

And if they don't have the skills,

If you know the skills,

You'll know how to get yourself out of it.

But if you don't,

It's hard to get that skill on your own without guidance of someone who can pull you out of depression.

Makes sense.

Yeah,

It absolutely does.

So how deep do you usually go when you're listing things that you're grateful for?

Or how much do you change it up?

Or is there something that you should – should you try to focus on something new every day?

Does it matter?

Does reaffirming your gratitude towards something help expand that thing in your life?

How do you know what to focus on when you're focusing on gratitude?

So you're asking generically or me and the person?

However you want to answer that is fine with me.

I find – I find if I speak for everybody,

What will guide what you're grateful for is to – whatever is going on in your head at this moment that you're not grateful for or complaining about,

Shift it.

So let's say you're complaining – you're not grateful for the friends you have,

Oh,

I don't have enough friends or the friends I have are crappy or my friends don't like me.

Then,

Okay,

What friends do I have that do like me?

Because the human brain tends to focus on the negative.

We had to do that to survive as a species.

So for – you could have ten positive things and only one negative thing and you'll just focus on the bad thing.

So if you have ten great friends but one is sticky and unkind,

You'll focus on that one friend.

So what you do is,

Well,

Let me focus on the friends who do like me,

The friends who are kind to me instead of focusing on the one who isn't.

If you're complaining about something on your body,

Then what on your body are you grateful for?

If you don't like your legs,

Well,

Maybe you love your eyes,

Maybe you love your hair,

Your nose,

Your muscles and your arms.

So I think that would help guide where to put your gratitude if you're like,

Oh,

I don't know where to start.

But you can start anywhere,

Whatever comes to mind.

Like our mind is pretty creative and it never shuts up.

So if we make an effort,

It's like exercise.

The more you do it,

The easier it gets.

Yeah.

Makes sense?

It does make sense.

Crystal,

Does it make sense to you?

It makes sense,

Ben.

It makes sense.

Good.

And you know,

Some people,

To be honest,

Some people don't want to get better.

Some people have,

They feel good complaining.

You know,

If you don't have good self-esteem,

You will look at everything that's bad outside of you to lift you up so you don't feel as bad.

So part of practicing gratitude,

You got to want to practice gratitude and connect it to your why.

Why do I want to practice gratitude?

Do I want to improve my physical health,

My mental health,

My social relationships,

My interpersonal skills?

If you connect it to a why that is powerful,

You'll be creative,

You'll be more likely to do it.

But if you don't connect it to a why,

It's no different than a diet or deciding to exercise or stop drinking or smoking or shopping.

If you don't connect it to a value and the why behind it,

It's hard to stick to it and to see the benefits of that practice.

Yeah.

No,

Makes sense.

All right.

So let's get into how we end every episode.

And let's talk about what we are grateful for this week.

Crystal,

Why don't you go first?

Well,

This week I am grateful for the cooler weather.

It's been in the 90s a lot.

I think we had like 78 days or something in the 90s in Colorado.

Like we broke the record for most 90 degree days and I'm like,

This cool weather is really nice.

And I'm like,

I just want to be outside.

So grateful for it.

That's awesome.

I am this week grateful for my self.

I'm grateful for,

Like,

Being able to realize when something's wrong.

And like,

I think that I and I'm grateful for friends that are willing to tell me when something's wrong.

You know,

That's I think that that's that that's a big thing.

Like,

I think that being able to to have self-awareness and when you don't have self-awareness to have people in your life that,

You know,

Have your best intentions in mind who are able to help you out in the self-awareness department.

I think that that's really important.

And I'm really grateful to have a little bit of both of those things,

A little bit of the personal self-awareness and a lot of the great friends.

Gina?

I'm grateful for my job,

My work.

I love what I do.

It brings me joy and flexibility and it allows me to reinvent myself all the time.

And I was thinking of that because we were talking about kids,

What they want to do later on in life and how before people used to have the same profession for 50 years.

And I was having this discussion with my daughter how I started as a forensic psychologist full time.

And then I started working in schools and then parenting.

And I told her how I'm constantly reinventing myself and expanding my work.

So it's never boring.

And I'm lucky I'm in a profession that I can do that without having to get requalified,

Go study another degree.

So I'm really grateful for what I studied in.

That's awesome.

Now,

And we're all grateful for that,

Too,

Because that led you here.

We wouldn't be here without you.

Exactly.

So,

Gina,

You also have something that you'd like to let everybody know about.

Yes.

So November 1st,

I'm launching a new program.

It's an ultimate self-care program.

It'll be 90 days,

So three months.

And people who will have done the Life Clarity program,

Which is not necessarily a prerequisite to this,

But it would really help to understand why this program will be beneficial to them.

So people who will do the Life Clarity program will get 75 percent off the self-care program that will launch November 1st.

So I'm really excited about this program because it's what I've been doing with my clients one on one.

And they've really seen their lives transform for the better,

Sleep better,

Less stress,

Have more focus,

More clarity.

And,

Yeah,

It's a pretty cool program,

And I can't wait to do it with people in this group.

And we'll have a private Facebook group,

Q&As and videos.

And it's a course that's really action oriented,

So it's not just ingesting a bunch of information.

It's actually information and transformation.

That's awesome.

Yeah.

12 weeks to passion,

Power and purpose.

I love that.

And,

You know,

It's the what's great about something like this is that obviously this is like you just said,

This is something that you've been doing with your clients one on one.

And in a situation like this,

You get all of the benefits of having,

You know,

The one on one coaching style,

But also with the community aspect of it.

And I think that that's really awesome and really,

Really great.

So also,

You can check out the the other program right now,

The Women of Clarity,

The Clarity program in that group.

And that's,

You know,

Like she said,

Not a prerequisite,

But you do if you've completed that,

Get 75 percent off,

Which is amazing.

So that's fantastic.

Please check that out.

And you said that starts November 1st.

Yeah.

Awesome.

And where do people go if they want to learn more about that program or you in general?

Well,

They can go to Dr.

So the full word,

Dr.

Gina dot C.

A.

And they'll find all the links there.

Also,

The Facebook group and the Life Clarity program.

It's all on that page.

Awesome.

Thank you so much,

Gina.

And of course,

If you want to find out more about Crystal Tubbs,

Crystal,

Where can they go to find you?

You can go to Brave and Bold Writer dot com.

Awesome.

Well,

Thank you guys so much for joining us and we'll see you next week.

Crystal,

Have a good night.

Gina.

Thanks.

Thank you so much.

Thanks,

Guys.

Bye everybody.

More information or to book an appointment with Gina,

Go to Dr.

Mandragrano dot com or click the link in the description of this episode.