The practice of mindfulness is not a trendy self-help program.
The profound and deeper premise is logical,
Cause and effect.
When we're more settled and in touch with our intentions,
That affects us and the people around us for the better.
Loving-kindness practice is a way of reminding ourselves that everyone has their challenges and everyone would like to be happy and at ease.
Common sense and research both suggest that remembering that fact impacts not only how we feel,
But how we engage with other people too.
As the Dalai Lama has often said,
Being kind to other people is one of the best ways to feel better ourselves.
Begin this practice in a comfortable posture.
Find yourself a way to sit or lie down that feels relaxed,
But also sustainable for the next few minutes.
If you like,
Take a few deeper breaths,
Gathering your awareness,
Gathering your attention.
And as we begin the practice,
Recognizing that we're not aiming to force ourselves to feel anything in particular.
So as we begin,
Bringing to mind someone you have uncomplicated feelings for.
It could be a person or a pet.
Picturing this being and bringing to mind what you'd most wish for them right now.
As we move through this practice,
We typically aim to put words to those intentions.
It's sometimes described as a parent would think of their newborn child,
May you be happy,
May you be healthy,
May you feel safe,
And may you live your life with ease.
The specific words aren't important as much as the intentions and wishes behind them.
So for these next few minutes,
While picturing this being,
This person,
Or this pet,
Who may be far away and there may be nothing you can specifically do for them right now,
Except offer them these best wishes,
These thoughts for their life.
May you be happy,
May you be healthy,
May you feel safe,
And may you live your life with ease.
And now,
Shifting your awareness to yourself.
Can you wish for yourself exactly what you would wish for this close friend,
Or pet,
Or family member?
Not forcing anything,
Just setting a signpost or an intention.
May I feel happy,
May I feel healthy,
May I feel safe,
And may I live my life with ease.
Not putting your wishes for yourself above everyone else,
But not below everyone else either.
May I feel happy,
May I feel healthy,
May I feel safe,
And may I live my life with ease.
Now shifting your awareness to a friend,
If you're ready.
Maybe even choosing someone who needs your support in some way right now.
There's nothing magical to this practice.
There may be nothing we can actually fix or change,
But we can return to the same perspective and wishes for them.
May you be happy,
May you be healthy,
May you feel safe,
And may you live your life with ease.
Next,
Bring to mind someone who's often referred to in the practice as a stranger or a neutral person.
It may be someone you see frequently at the local store or coffee shop or gas station.
Knowing nothing about them or their lifestyle or the choices they've made,
Recognizing that their lives are motivated by the same desires,
The same wishes as everyone else.
So picturing them in this way and offering them the same wishes.
May you be happy,
May you be healthy,
May you feel safe,
And may you live your life with ease.
Now bring to mind a difficult person in your life.
Don't start with the most difficult person who comes to mind,
But someone perhaps you've had some mild disagreement with.
Without condoning anything they've done and allowing for a sense of self-care and even self-protection,
Bringing this more challenging person to mind.
Sometimes for this part of the practice,
It's easiest to include yourself.
May we both feel happy,
May we both feel healthy,
May we both feel safe,
And may we both live our lives with ease.
If this part of the practice becomes too difficult,
It's okay to return to wishes for yourself and reminding yourself that these wishes don't mean that you can't take care of yourself in very specific ways whenever needed.
May we both be healthy,
May we both be happy,
May we both feel safe,
And may we both live our lives with ease.
As we transition towards ending the practice,
It's traditional to expand our awareness to larger groups of people,
So you might expand your awareness to everyone within your family and everyone outside your family,
Or everyone living in our country and everyone living outside our country.
And if you like,
In concluding,
Expanding your awareness one last time,
May all beings everywhere feel healthy,
May all beings everywhere feel happy,
May all beings everywhere feel safe,
And may all beings everywhere live their lives with ease.
In any moment,
We can remind ourselves,
Without condoning any particular behavior,
That everyone is trying to figure it out.
Everyone has struggles,
And everyone seeks relief and happiness even if we don't agree with how they're doing it.
We can be proactive and take care of ourselves and still hold on to this truth and these wishes for the world.
