Instant Relief For Depression

Hello,

My name is Noah Elkrief and today I'm going to talk to you about how to stop feeling depressed.

More specifically,

In this video I'm going to take you through what you could call a process in order to help you to stop feeling depressed right now.

It's not something that you have to practice or have faith in what I'm saying or believe what I'm saying or any of that.

This is about experiencing a huge impact right now.

But in order for you to have any impact,

You have to approach this with a real open mind because what I'm going to say in this video is probably drastically different from anything you've heard before about depression or life in general.

So to help you to open up a little bit,

I'm just going to tell you a little bit about who I am.

So my name is Noah Elkrief and I make videos on YouTube.

I also have a video blog at liveinthemoment.

Org which gets over 25,

000 unique visitors each month.

I wrote a book called A Guide to the Present Moment that hit number one on Amazon and has been a top five bestseller and top five rated book in counseling since it came out in November of 2012.

And I run a counseling practice in Manhattan and on Skype where I've dealt with hundreds of people who have said they are so depressed,

Clinically depressed,

Suicidal,

And you name it.

And I've helped them oftentimes very quickly to discover the difference between what is real and what is not.

And that in turn has immediately brought them back to peace,

Happiness,

Relief,

Rest,

Whatever you want to call it.

So I don't say that so that you'll trust me.

I don't say all those things about who I am so that you'll believe what I say,

Like I'm trustworthy.

It's not about that.

The reason why I say that is just so you approach this video and my words with the openness of maybe,

Just maybe,

This can help.

Maybe he might have an idea of what he's talking about.

So for the rest of this video,

What we're going to do is a little different than what you're used to.

Normally when someone is speaking,

You try to evaluate whether it's true or not and whether I should remember or not,

Relevant or not,

Helpful or not,

Right or wrong.

But in this,

What we're going to do is just directly discover for ourselves what is real or true.

So it's not about learning from me.

It's about looking for yourself.

You're exploring,

Discovering Christopher Columbus,

Exploring new territory.

Okay?

So in this moment,

Right now,

I want you to just be curious.

What thoughts are going on in your mind right now?

What thoughts are popping up?

Just look.

Are they saying,

What is he talking about?

I don't understand.

Look at what they're saying.

Where do those thoughts come from?

Who puts them there?

Do you pick the thoughts that enter your mind?

Take a moment and look.

What's the next thought to pop up in your mind?

What's the next thought to take your attention?

Do you know whether it will be a comment or a question?

A judgment or a positive thought?

A story about the future or a story about the past?

Take a moment and look.

Do you actually know what the next thought to enter your mind will be?

Of course not.

You have no idea.

So you don't know what the next thought will be.

If you controlled your thoughts,

If you picked what thoughts entered your mind,

You would know what the next thought is.

So look.

What thoughts are going on right now?

Just look at them.

Notice them.

If you picked what thoughts entered your mind,

You would never pick negative thoughts.

You would never pick all these stories about the past or stories about the future that just create anxiety and shame.

Look.

You don't pick what thoughts enter your mind.

Just look right now.

Don't believe me.

Look for yourself.

What stories are coming now?

So in this moment,

You'll notice every time a thought pops up in your mind,

You automatically follow it.

You automatically give it attention.

It's not like you decide to give it attention.

Every time a thought enters your mind,

You automatically follow it.

You automatically give it attention until another thought pops up and then another tangent and another tangent.

And you just keep following thoughts all day long.

Pretty much all day every day.

You may have noticed.

But there's an alternative.

In this moment,

Just this moment right now,

Just be curious.

Just be curious.

What will thoughts say next?

Just like looking outside the window,

I wonder what car will pass by next.

Will it be a black car or a red car?

A Jeep or a convertible?

You don't know what it will be.

But it doesn't matter.

It doesn't matter if a positive thought pops up next or a negative thought.

A question or an answer.

In this moment,

You're just curious.

I don't control what's going on in my mind.

I wonder what it will say next.

I don't know.

And then when a thought pops up and you say,

Oh,

Now it's thinking about this.

Oh,

It brought up a question.

Oh,

It brought up a story.

Oh,

It brought up,

This will never help me.

I don't understand this.

Look,

You're the one looking at that thought.

That thought came out of nowhere.

You didn't pick it.

You didn't control it.

You didn't do something to create it.

You put no effort to pick the thought,

Grab the thought,

Give attention to the thought.

You're a step back from that.

You're noticing.

Oh,

There's another thought.

So each time that you recognize,

Oh,

There's a thought.

Oh,

I'm giving attention to a thought.

Stop.

Bring your attention back to my eyes.

Not because it's bad to give attention to thoughts.

Not because it's good to give attention to my eyes.

But just out of curiosity.

Simply because you've been living constantly giving attention to thoughts.

And what has that created?

Sadness?

Depression?

General unhappiness?

So in this moment,

Stop.

Come back.

And then notice,

Oh,

Thoughts are going on again.

Stop.

Come back to my eyes.

And just keep looking.

What's the next thought to show up?

Stop.

Come back to my eyes.

Stay here.

Stay with my eyes.

Every time you leave my eyes,

You go into a fantasy world.

There's only two options here.

Reality.

This room.

What you actually can see and touch.

Or going into fantasies.

Thoughts which don't have anything to do with this moment and aren't real.

Stop.

Come back to my eyes.

Just for this moment.

Now let me ask you a question.

Where is your nose right now?

Well,

It's very obvious.

Right here.

Touch your nose.

Where is your nose?

Right here.

Very simple question,

Right?

Easy enough.

Now show me in this moment,

Where is a problem?

Oh,

Don't go into fantasy land.

Here.

In reality,

Where is a problem?

When I ask where is your nose,

You stay here.

With what you can see and touch.

With what you know to be true.

What is a fact.

But when I ask where is a problem,

Eyes go someplace else and we look in a different world.

But in this moment,

Now,

In reality,

Can you find a problem?

Stop.

Come back to my eyes.

Come back to this moment.

I'm not saying can you invent a problem in a fantasy land.

Fantasy land is filled with problems.

You can create infinite.

And then you spend all day long solving problems that don't exist.

Stop.

Just for the second,

Come back to my eyes.

Just notice the difference between reality and fantasy.

Reality and concept.

So look,

In this moment,

If I go like this,

That's a movement.

Right?

If I go like this,

That's another movement.

Which movement is better and which is worse?

They're just unique.

It's not like one is factually better and one is worse.

You can't see better on this movement or this movement.

Because better isn't part of reality.

Which is my nose ugly or pretty?

It's just a nose.

Ugly and pretty don't exist in reality.

They're concepts.

You can't see ugly or pretty on this nose.

You see nose.

And then we superimpose concepts onto this nose as if it's part of the facts.

But we have to separate the facts from our thoughts about the facts.

Stop.

Come back to my eyes.

So now look.

Where is bad in this moment?

Where is something wrong with you in this moment?

Not in fantasy land,

In reality.

Stop.

Where is wrong?

What would wrong even look like?

What is wrong?

Where is bad?

Show me something bad about you in reality.

Not in a fantasy world.

Here.

Now.

There's nothing bad about you.

There's nothing wrong with you.

That was just a thought.

It's not who you are.

Thought.

You see?

The facts are that you're just here sitting.

Being.

You see?

That's it.

Stop.

Come back to my eyes.

You'll notice.

Mind keeps trying to take your attention.

That's normal.

That's natural.

That's fine.

It's not your fault that you keep giving attention to thoughts.

You've been trained to give attention to thoughts pretty much every second of your life.

It's okay.

But while you're watching this video,

Each time that you catch yourself up,

I'm giving attention to thoughts instead of his eyes.

I'm giving attention to thoughts instead of his words.

You just stop and come back.

Just for this second.

You don't need to worry about whether you keep your attention on my eyes or on my hand movements.

All there is to do is this moment now.

Okay.

Come back.

That's it.

You see?

So here,

Now,

Right?

Where's your nose?

Here.

Where's something wrong with you?

Not in fantasy land.

Here.

There is nothing wrong with you.

There never was.

There never was.

Stop.

You see?

The only reason we have.

.

.

Let me take a step back.

Mind has one job,

Right?

One purpose.

To maintain its survival.

You see?

And what do I mean by that?

It needs to keep thinking in order to survive.

You see?

Mind doesn't survive if we don't give it attention,

If we don't give it energy.

So the only reason we have to give attention to thoughts,

To mind,

Is to try to fix something.

If there's nothing wrong with this moment,

What would you give attention to mind for?

If there was nothing wrong,

Why would you give attention to thoughts?

All day long,

All you do is think about what is wrong,

What is bad,

And how to fix it,

How to make it better.

But stop.

Prove to me that something is broken.

Prove to me that something is wrong and it needs to be fixed.

Right?

If someone knocks on your door and says,

I'm here to fix your windows,

What's the first thing you're going to do?

Well,

The first thing you're going to do is check to make sure the windows are broken.

So when mind keeps offering its lovely help of,

I'm here to fix you,

How do I fix myself?

There's this wrong,

That wrong,

This wrong,

That's bad,

You're insufficient,

This way,

You need to make yourself better,

Improve.

Stop.

Before we get into all this fixing,

Let's look for evidence.

What's wrong?

What's broken?

What's insufficient?

Look,

In reality,

Can you find anything lacking right now?

What would lacking look like?

Stop.

Where's your nose?

Where is lacking?

Where is something missing?

I don't see anything missing.

You see?

Just because you have a feeling.

So let's say you have this feeling.

This feeling is here and it means something is wrong.

Well,

There may be a feeling,

But where does it say bad on the feeling?

Where does it say wrong on the feeling?

It's just a feeling.

Feelings don't mean anything until you believe a thought that says they do.

You see,

You can be in peace in the midst of a cut or a bruise or a headache simply because the feelings in your body don't determine whether you're in peace or not.

If you have a stomach ache and you don't have any thoughts about it,

You're fine when you're distracted from thoughts.

But if you have a stomach ache and tell yourself,

Oh no,

Maybe it's a kidney stone,

Then boom,

All of a sudden there's a lot of suffering.

Same is true with all the feelings.

So you have a feeling in your chest and then you tell yourself,

It means I'm depressed.

It means I'm not worthy.

It means something is wrong with me.

No,

It doesn't.

That's not part of reality.

That's an assumption,

An interpretation,

A concept that we superimpose onto reality and claim it's part of the facts.

It is not factual.

It is not real that a feeling in your body signifies that something is wrong with you.

It's just a feeling.

Come back to the feeling itself.

What is the feeling like?

So there's a feeling here.

What is it?

Where is it?

How do I know it's bad?

I don't like it.

Who doesn't like it?

That's a thought.

The reason why there's dislike is because we first believe that it means something bad about us.

But it doesn't.

You don't pick what thoughts enter your mind.

You don't pick whether you believe these thoughts.

You don't pick whether you give attention to these thoughts.

Because if you did,

You would never pick negative thoughts.

You would never believe negative thoughts and you would never give attention to negative thoughts.

And those are the factors that create these feelings in our body.

When negative thoughts arise and we believe them and give attention to them,

They create feelings.

But you don't control the factors that create these feelings.

So if you don't control the factors that create these feelings,

Then you are not to blame for these feelings.

They don't mean anything about you.

So stop.

Come back here.

You're okay.

How do you know something's broken?

How do you know something needs to be fixed?

Stop.

Allow yourself to be exactly as you are.

Just for this moment.

Stop.

Allow yourself to be exactly as you are.

Because how do you know something's wrong?

You don't know.

Because how do you know something's wrong?

How do you know you're missing something just because a thought says it?

That doesn't mean it's real.

A thought can say anything.

Stop.

Come back.

Allow yourself to just be.

Forget about becoming something.

You can't become anything other than as you are.

Whether you're in a job that you're doing this all day or you're in a job that's doing this all day,

Your hand movements don't determine anything about you.

You are here in the midst of every experience in your body.

Whether there's happiness or sadness,

You are you.

Whether there's positive thoughts or negative thoughts,

You are you.

It doesn't mean anything about you.

You are here in the midst of everything.

I'm not talking to the one who is depressed.

That is a thought.

That is a story.

It's not you.

Stop.

Come back to my eyes.

Look.

Who are you right now?

Right now.

Where's success?

Where's failure?

In reality?

Now.

Can you find it?

Can you show it to me?

Where's funny?

Where's boring?

Right now.

What does it look like?

Can you show it to me?

Where's ugly or pretty?

I see nose,

But ugly or pretty aren't part of reality.

Stop.

Come back.

Where's likable or unlikable?

Worthy or unworthy?

It's only a fantasy,

A thought,

A concept.

It's not who you are.

You're looking at those thoughts.

So when I say where is your nose,

Boom.

Very simple.

It's a certain reality.

But when I say where is unworthiness,

Where is it?

Where is unlikability?

Where is incomplete?

You can't find it.

The closest thing that you could come to is a feeling.

But a feeling doesn't mean incomplete.

It's just a feeling.

There's pressure in my chest.

It doesn't mean you're incomplete.

It doesn't mean there's something wrong.

Stop.

So now,

Where is depressed?

I am depressed.

That's who I am.

I am depressed.

But,

Stop.

Where's depression?

Were you you before you had depression?

Something was still there before you were depressed.

Right?

Something is still there after you were depressed.

That's you.

There's a feeling that comes and goes.

Are you depressed in every single second?

No,

I'm sure in some moments,

Whether you want to admit it or not,

In some moments when your favorite food arrives at the dinner table,

When somebody greets you,

When your favorite show comes on,

There's seconds where you forget I am depressed.

And when you forget about it,

When those stories don't show up of how bad you are,

How bad your life is,

How wrong everything is,

In those moments,

You still exist.

Right?

You are here.

In every moment,

You are here.

Are you not?

Something is here right now.

Must be you.

So anything that comes and goes can't be you because you are always here.

You are here right now.

So anything that is not here right now can't be you.

Failure is not here.

I don't see it.

Unworthiness isn't here.

I don't see it.

Ugly isn't here.

I don't see it.

I see nose.

I see eyes.

I see face.

It can't be ugly.

That's impossible.

That's a concept.

You see,

Some people think it's something that's pretty.

The other person thinks it's ugly.

But neither of them are part of the facts.

Neither of them are part of reality.

We all get so confused between what is real and what is concept.

You see,

Stop.

In this moment,

Allow this moment to be exactly as it is.

Whatever you feel,

Just let it be there.

Whether your mind is busy or quiet,

Just allow it to be as it is.

Whether you understand or you don't understand,

Fine.

Allow that you completely don't understand.

Allow that you're frustrated.

Allow that I'm saying the wrong thing and it's not helpful.

Allow yourself to be exactly as you are in this moment.

And that includes everything.

Allow yourself to be just for a second.

You don't need to fix anything about you.

But now notice,

As I'm speaking,

There's two listening right now.

Notice that.

There's something just listening without making any effort to listen.

Listening is just happening.

And then there's also another type of listening occurring.

And that is mind trying to understand.

Trying to make sure it figures out.

Trying to determine whether it's helpful or not.

Right or wrong.

All that stuff.

But that's not who I'm talking to.

I'm not talking to the one trying to figure it out.

I'm not talking to the one trying to understand.

I'm not talking to the one trying to get there.

The better experience.

The moment when I'm happy.

Stop.

I'm talking to you.

The one who's watching all that.

The one who's watching the effort.

Because the only reason that you would make any effort is if you first believe this moment is insufficient.

Notice that.

The only reason you would make any effort and try so hard to make sure you understand,

Make sure you get value,

Is if you first believe this moment is lacking.

But stop.

I'm not talking to the one that believes something is lacking.

I'm talking to you.

So just notice how mind tries to understand what I just said.

Tries to figure it out.

But mind can't figure it out.

Mind can't understand.

Stop.

It comes.

The one who's going to get this is just a step back.

There's two ways to get something.

One is mind says,

I think I understand.

And the other is,

Ah yeah.

Or I feel that.

I get it.

It's a feeling response.

Like you know you really recognized something.

You had an insight.

You discovered something.

You felt what I said.

That's what this is about.

Not about mind thinking I understand it.

Or mind thinking it's probably helpful.

Or maybe I could get it.

Or it's definitely not helpful.

And this isn't right for me.

And what is he talking about?

That's not it.

Stop.

I'm talking to you.

Let yourself be as you are.

You see,

We spend every second of every day trying to become something.

Trying to make sure we're productive in every moment.

Because I'm not good enough as I am.

We don't see that part.

It's unconscious.

You see,

We can't just let ourselves be as we are.

Otherwise we shame ourselves.

No.

I wasn't productive.

That's so bad.

But why do you need to be so productive?

What's wrong with you?

That you have to fix it.

Stop.

But don't answer that in Fantasyland.

Come back to my eyes.

Notice.

It's okay right now.

You're okay.

There is nothing wrong with you.

How do I know?

Because wrong doesn't exist in reality.

It's not part of this moment.

It's not real.

You are okay as you are.

Because what could be bad?

The only one that says bad is a thought.

Unless you can find it in reality,

It's not real.

You see,

Stop.

Come back to my eyes.

In this moment,

Just watch what mind does.

Watch how it tries to understand.

Watch how it judges.

If you're in peace right now,

If you're feeling relaxed right now,

Watch how mind tells a story about what about the next moment.

Stop.

There's no such thing as a good experience or a bad experience.

Because you can be in peace in the midst of every experience.

You see,

If you have cancer and you don't know that you do,

You're fine.

You can be happy.

You see,

Cancer doesn't create happiness or suffering.

The experience in the body doesn't do anything.

Even in the midst of a bruise,

A cut,

A stomach ache,

A headache,

A broken leg,

If you forget about it for a moment,

You're fine.

You see,

It's just this world of thoughts that makes it seem like I am sad.

I am.

.

.

You are not depressed.

That's right.

I said it.

You are not depressed.

A feeling enters your experience that you then label depression.

And it may be there 95% of the time,

Maybe 99,

Maybe 60% of the time.

But unless it's there 100% of every single moment in your life,

It's not who you are.

It is a feeling that comes and goes and it is a feeling that's simply created by believing stories.

Stories in our mind.

And don't get me wrong,

The feeling is incredibly real.

And I get it.

It's intense.

It's strong.

But it's not you.

And it doesn't mean anything about you.

Because you don't control the factors that create it.

Thoughts create it.

Stories do.

And these stories sometimes are conscious.

Maybe we're aware of the specific stories that are constantly taking our attention.

For example,

Stories of how our life isn't enough.

We didn't do enough with our life.

We don't have a purpose.

Our personality isn't good enough.

We're not likeable.

Nobody loves us.

Or whatever.

Or I have a disease.

It's bad.

My condition is bad.

My house is bad.

My job is.

.

.

Whatever.

Maybe we're aware of the story.

Or maybe it's completely underneath unconscious and we're not aware of it.

But it's created by stories.

And at any moment that we're distracted from those stories,

Or at any moment that we take a step back and just recognize it's not me,

Just because a thought says my situation is bad doesn't mean it is.

It's just a situation.

Your job can't create suffering because in some moments that you have your job you don't suffer.

Your personality can't create suffering.

Your appearance can't create suffering because in some moments that you have the exact same appearance you're not suffering.

So therefore factually it can't be a cause and effect relationship.

You see,

If your nose,

Your appearance created suffering,

Then at every moment that you had the same appearance you would have no choice but to suffer.

But at any moment that you forget how you look you're okay.

At any moment that you forget what job and how bad it is,

What job you have and how bad it is,

You're okay.

Stop.

Allow yourself to be as you are in this moment.

Forget about fixing,

Improving,

Changing.

Stop.

The only one that wants to change is a thought that first says,

Convinces you something is bad,

Something is wrong,

Something is insufficient.

Stop.

You're okay.

Okay?

So that's all I'm going to say right now.

That's all I'm going to get to.

Maybe it was long,

Maybe it wasn't.

But I hope that you at least got to see for a second,

Just a glimpse,

That who you are is not depressed.

That the feeling of depression doesn't signify anything about you.

And that the stories that create depression aren't real,

Are just a concept.

That there is really nothing wrong with you.

Really.

I'm not just saying that.

And when you truly discover that for yourself,

Depression will go boom,

Instantly.

You may have felt that for a moment on this call,

On this video.

You may have or you may not have.

If you haven't,

That's okay.

You weren't meant to.

That's fine.

But maybe that recognition will occur in five minutes or tomorrow or a week.

I don't know what's best for you.

But you don't either.

You see?

You have no idea.

If you get hit by a car and you break your leg,

Is that good or bad for your life?

Well it would seem obvious.

That's bad for my life.

I'm in pain,

I might miss work,

It's going to be an inconvenience,

It's bad.

But if you then go to the doctor's office and when you're waiting for a surgery or after surgery,

Or just to follow a doctor visit,

If you meet somebody that gives you your dream job and you love it,

And then years down the road,

Or dream job or you meet the girl of your dreams or man of your dreams,

Or you meet someone that gives you a book that changes your life,

A few years later,

If you're much happier,

Because of that occurrence,

Are you going to say that the car accident,

The broken leg,

Was good or bad for your life?

Well,

You're going to say it was good for my life overall.

So in the moment that you decided,

When you broke your leg,

You decided this is bad,

You didn't realize it,

But you were unknowingly saying,

I know the future.

I know that this is bad for my life.

I know.

But you don't know what all the effects are of anything.

The reason I say that is you don't know what all the effects are of having these depressing feelings.

Maybe,

Just maybe,

This depression has occurred to enable you,

To allow you to open up to something deeper than pursuing happiness through money,

Success,

Love,

Kids,

Purpose,

Shoulds,

All this other stuff.

Maybe,

Just maybe,

That's why you feel depressed,

To open you up to seeing what actually causes suffering,

What actually makes you happy.

Maybe.

I don't know.

But you don't know either.

So whatever you got from this call,

Perfect.

That's exactly what meant to happen from this video.

So used to doing sessions,

I say call.

So thank you for watching this video.

Thank you for your time.

And just know,

When I look at you,

When I see you,

When I'm talking to you,

I'm not talking to a depressed person.

I'm talking to you.

You are not depressed.

Depression is a story.

I am this depressed person and all this other stuff.

That's not who you are.

Right now you are just here,

Sitting,

Listening.

I'm talking to you,

The one that sees the thoughts,

The stories.

The stories come and go,

But you will always be here.

Feelings come and go,

But you will always be here.

Okay?

I think that's really all I'm going to say.

So if you want to know more about this type of thing,

You can check out my website,

Book a session,

Read my book,

Whatever.

So I hope it helped.

And that's it.

Enjoy your day.

Bye.