The Importance Of Inner Child Work #230

Welcome to the Soul Infused Monday show.

Today's topic,

The importance of inner child work to create fulfilling relationships.

Lately,

I've been talking about how to handle anger,

How to deal with rejection.

As human beings,

We experience emotions in many different ways.

There's a whole variety,

A whole spectrum.

I spoke about triggers,

About how to handle and deal intense emotions many,

Many times.

So I wanted to take the time today to talk about the inner child a little bit because that is very,

Very closely related.

Whether you have done inner child work already or whether this concept is even new to you,

Having an understanding and a deeper understanding of the inner child in you will make a huge difference in your life and also in your relationships.

As a disclaimer,

The whole topic or the inner child area is a big,

Big area,

And I'm only going to scratch the surface here and give you some insight,

Some hopefully,

Some inspiration so that you can continue the journey of discovery and healing of your inner child.

The concept of the inner child is very simple to understand.

There is in your system,

In your body,

In your experience,

Even though you are an adult now,

There is an inner child in you that still lives inside of you as if it's still alive in there.

That part in your experience,

This life,

It often carries wounding and is very active,

Very,

Very active in your daily life,

But most of the time it is unconscious.

You are not aware of it.

Now,

The concept is simple to understand.

However,

In order to really embrace and heal your inner child,

It requires deep inner work,

Effort,

And time.

This is not an easy thing to do,

And many people might not even want to dive into that,

And that's okay too.

And whatever I share with you today,

Some things might resonate,

Some things might not resonate,

And I invite you to simply pick and choose what works for you and what resonates with you,

And to also create an own experience versus simply listening and adapting it or not.

You want to practice it,

You want to apply it and see what works for you.

Again,

I can only scratch the surface.

I've done inner child work myself for the last 20 years since I've started my journey.

The work on healing the wounds of your inner child is a big part of the work that I do with my clients,

And obviously the work on the inner child is something that in most cases,

And most times you work with someone on it because especially in the beginning,

Especially in the beginning,

We are kind of blind to our own inner workings.

So even though you might understand logically or mentally the concept of the inner child,

You might still struggle to connect with your inner child,

You might struggle to truly take care of that part in you,

And maybe even have compassion and understanding.

So I want to talk into why it is so important,

Specifically when in relationships,

And relationships,

It doesn't have to be an intimate romantic love relationship,

It can be friendships,

Workspace relationships,

Any type of connection,

Interaction,

Engagement and relating to another human being,

Your inner child is involved,

And maybe in a much,

Much bigger way than you are aware of.

And it's so important because when you have a wounding a trigger.

It takes you back to a moment in the past.

And you are not in the present moment anymore.

And that part in you that is getting triggered today I'm talking about the inner child is experiencing it as if it would be real,

At this time,

It's as if that part lives in a time bubble.

So you might be 20 3040 5060 7080 90 years old.

And yet,

When in a certain situation when you get triggered the reaction and the experience is like a three year old,

Or six year old,

Or nine year old,

You might have had that experience before.

So intense emotions,

Upsetness,

Helplessness,

Loneliness,

Insecurity,

Self judgment,

And addiction addictive behaviors.

All of these and many,

Many,

Many more are related to your inner child,

Your inner child is active when you experience anything that is very intense,

Very emotional,

Or in conflict with someone else.

Now unresolved woundings from the past and your inner child can cause conflict,

Struggle,

Disconnection,

And even separation within a relationship,

Even though,

And anyone who has done deep inner child work knows it's not an easy thing to wrestle with in the beginning,

It's the most fulfilling thing you can do.

It will connect you to yourself more and it will give you more compassion and understanding for your own inner world for your own struggles.

And therefore,

It will also give you an opportunity to connect deeper with someone else and to have more compassion and understanding for someone else,

Because you can have that visual of you are here the adult connecting with another adult and inside what's really connecting is often too scared wounded children,

Too scared inner children connecting,

Trying to feel safe in that connection.

Feeling safe is one of the most foundational needs of a child,

A child that is still a child or your inner child.

Anytime that child does not feel safe,

It will create a reaction.

It will create a pattern,

A behavior,

An emotion.

Now you as an adult right now,

You still have that operating inside of you.

When you have the sense of not feeling safe,

You will do certain things to either avoid it,

Numb it,

Protect it.

If you are aware of it,

That's why the work is so important,

The work on your inner child,

Because once you are aware of it,

You can do something about it,

You take care of your inner child.

All of us on some way or another experience trauma,

And it's stored in the system,

And the inner child is part of that woundedness that is carrying it out.

Now what happened in your childhood is not your fault back then,

However now it's your responsibility.

You are responsible for your inner child.

You are responsible for the needs that are coming up.

You are responsible to take care of it.

Because if you don't,

Your inner child will reach out totally subconsciously,

You're not aware of that,

It's subconscious and energetically,

And will try to get the needs met on the outside.

Many times in not healthy ways,

By trying to manipulate someone or trying to control the environment to get saved by demanding.

And that sounds like maybe a judgment or negativity or something,

But it's not.

It's a pattern that comes out the need of feeling safe.

And when it stays unconscious,

It comes out in very uncomfortable ways.

Now let's take a relationship or two people relating and someone has a need,

But is not able to communicate it in a conscious way because that person is not even aware of that need.

That need could be a need to feel safe,

A need to feel loved,

A need to be connected.

It could be physical touch,

It could be any and everything.

Now when you are not aware of being able to share that,

You will energetically reach out to get it anyway.

And then the other person might also not understand what's going on,

But it does feel uncomfortable.

The other person might feel judged.

The other person might feel like pulling back.

The other person might feel as if there's a demanding energy around the request.

And then resentment kicks in.

Judgment,

Blame,

All of these dynamics happen on the inner child level.

Energetically,

When you look at it from a chakra perspective,

And of course they're all involved and woven in and connected,

But the inner child is mainly a second chakra phenomena and what it does energetically,

And that goes way more deeper just to give you an idea.

When you have woundings in your belly that are unresolved,

It's like you have a leaky belly and cords that come out and are looking to hook into something or someone else so that it can fulfill the need.

Addiction is a very,

Very good example,

And I can relate to that with food.

Food has been my go-to when feeling lonely or overwhelmed.

It's as this cord comes out and reaches out,

And therefore you also in some way lose your center.

You lose groundedness.

You lose your energy.

And often that comes with a feeling of victimhood.

If you don't do the inner child work or if you are not aware of those patterns and those emotions,

You are dependent also in a way on the outside.

You lose your power in a way because you give your responsibility away.

Again,

There's so much more to say to this,

But what's important for me today to convey is that you take the time and that you make the effort to connect with your inner child,

To tune in and to heal the wounded places in you,

Because if you don't address your childhood trauma,

Your unresolved childhood patterns,

Your relationship will bring this up or any relationship.

And that's good.

If you are in a growth relationship,

That's the most beautiful thing you can do together,

Because ultimately you are an adult having a relationship with another adult,

But there's two children having a relationship together.

And that can also be something very playful,

Very beautiful,

Very nurturing.

However,

If it stays unconscious,

It creates a codependent relationship.

So unresolved inner child woundings often lead to a codependent relationship.

And if you are on the path of being conscious and spiritual or not even spiritual,

Whatever word you want to call it,

But an intentional life,

A growth mindset,

You're working on yourself.

You want to feel good within yourself and you want to connect with people in a deep,

Meaningful,

Fulfilling way.

Your inner child will be involved.

And that's also the part that might block and sabotage.

So I'm going to take a moment.

I want to see your comments and I would like for you to tune in.

Take a moment.

This is an invitation right now.

Whether you experience something or not,

Or whether it works for you or not,

It is simply an invitation right now.

If you are in a space where you can close your eyes,

You can,

But you can totally do it with open eyes.

But for a moment,

Take a deep breath and tune in and imagine inside of you,

In your belly or however that is unfolding for you.

Tune into your own inner child.

Imagine your version when you were a child.

And just tune into that energy of that child.

How you felt,

How your inner child feels right now.

And don't be attached to a certain outcome.

It's totally OK if you cannot connect with it right now.

Just tune in and make the effort and the intention to connect with that part in you and to simply say hello.

And if you want to take it a step further,

You can ask.

How are you feeling right now or what do you need?

Take a nice deep breath.

Now there are many different ways to connect to your inner child.

It can be through meditation,

Through mindfulness,

Through therapy and work,

Breathing,

You're like many,

Many,

Many other ways.

But the importance is that you consciously make a decision and an effort.

And if you are someone that is very judgmental within,

If you have a strong inner critic,

If you're very hard on yourself,

Or if you are someone who experience feelings of not being good enough,

Self-worth issues,

All of that is related to a wounded inner child.

And the more you do that work,

The more you will have compassion and understanding for yourself,

Because that's how you also release that grab of the inner critic,

The shame and the guilt.

Look at yourself as this beautiful,

Innocent,

Lovable child.

And when you are hard on yourself,

You ask yourself,

Would I do what I do with myself to a three year old?

What would I do?

What would I say if a child is crying and in pain?

Maybe you would give it a hug.

Maybe you would tell him or her that she's safe or that she's lovable.

It is your responsibility and it's also your beauty.

It's a beautiful thing to do.

It's a beautiful way to take care of yourself.

And if you have children,

You can apply certain things as well.

When you have children,

You take care of your children,

You also get to take care of your inner child,

Because your inner child might feel abandoned,

Might feel neglected.

And most of us have that because we don't learn these things in school.

When I started to work on my inner child,

I didn't have an idea.

Like I didn't have any concept.

And it took me a long time to really embrace it and to feel at ease with it,

Because there was also a lot of judgment from me towards my inner child.

It's needy.

It's demanding.

It's controlling.

I had a lot of judgment around that in the beginning of my journey.

It took time to really embrace that part and to fully understand it.

And it's still an ongoing journey.

And even though I have a sense that I so only scratched the surface,

I hope that something landed for you today and that it inspires you to tune in and to be kind and loving and compassionate with the part in you that does need certain attention,

That is wanted,

That doesn't feel good enough,

That does not feel safe.

If nothing else,

Feeling safe is one of the most important needs that you want to create within yourself so that your child feels safe to be in the world.

Because if the inner child doesn't feel safe,

No matter what you want to do as an adult,

It will block you in some way or another.

You can check in,

How do I know if I have a wounded inner child?

Well,

First of all,

As long as we are on a human body,

We all have it.

It's part of our experience,

Part of our makeup,

And you don't have to adapt that,

Believe it or not,

Whatsoever.

This is my experience.

And it's normal and it's okay.

When you do feel or when you look in your life and you feel,

Okay,

I have certain issues with addictive behaviors.

I have issues with getting triggered.

I have abandonment issues.

I experience jealousy sometimes.

I'm afraid of being rejected.

I have struggled being in connection with someone that I don't know.

I feel a lot of anxiety.

So many other areas in our life.

But these are all indicators that there is a woundedness inside that wants to come up for healing.

I would love to share something with you.

And while I get ready,

Please tune in.

What's your biggest takeaway for today?

What are you taking away from today?

And leave me a comment below.

Or leave me a review if you're listening to this on Spotify or Insight Timer,

If you're listening in somewhere where you are not joining live right now and you cannot leave a comment.

I so appreciate it.

I love reading your reviews.

I love,

Love,

Love reading your reviews and insights and feedback and questions if you have any questions.

I'm going to take a moment to read your biggest takeaway.

My inner child thanks you.

You're so welcome.

I love that.

Sending love to your inner child.

Sending love to any inner child.

When you depend on the outside world,

You give your power away is my takeaway.

And what landed?

Thank you for sharing.

I'm going to read two more.

Feeling safe is a natural need.

That is a great takeaway.

Absolutely.

Feeling safe is crucial as a human being.

Another takeaway.

Connecting or listening to your inner child will help deal with relationship issues you are experiencing.

Great takeaway.

Absolutely.

Another biggest takeaway is a renewed connection to my inner child.

She feels seen,

Listened to and safe.

And she,

Like me,

Is a Sonia Finn.

Awwww.

Thank you.

That is so sweet.

My inner child loves that too.

Thank you.

I'm going to finish this episode today by reading a poem to you that is part of the poem book,

You Can Heal the World.

And this particular poem is called Letter to the Inner Child.

And it's also a nice way to connect to your child.

So I'm reading it to you and I'm reading it to your inner child.

You can get those poems if you don't have them and read it to your inner child as well.

So take a nice deep breath.

And if you want to,

You can even put a hand on your heart and one hand on your belly or you can simply connect into your inner child.

You can simply set the intention,

I'm going to let those words reach my inner child,

Even though I don't know really how that works.

Let yourself be open.

Let yourself have that experience.

Maybe the words resonate,

Maybe they don't.

And everything is allowed and everything is welcomed.

Maybe your inner child right now is grumpy.

Maybe your inner child is angry.

Maybe your inner child is pounding.

Your inner child is allowed to feel whatever your inner child wants to feel.

And when we allow our inner children and ourselves to feel in acceptance with the moment,

It subsides,

It passes.

How many times do you see a child who is screaming,

Crying as if it's dying and then five minutes later it's laughing and running out in the driveway?

It happens all the time.

Let it flow,

Let it be expressed so that it can move.

Letter to the inner child.

You came into this world,

A divine little being through magical eyes and with trust you were seeing.

You were innocent,

Pure,

Just and blessed to be here.

But you could feel the earth being dense,

Full of fear.

You were totally naked and did not understand,

Reaching out to be seen and for a helping hand.

Planet Earth was a tough school en route,

Oftentimes,

Full of lies and deception,

A lot of anger and crimes.

This did highly affect you,

Although often not seen.

You began to forget who you really have been.

On your way growing up,

You lost your intuition.

You forgot that you had such a beautiful vision.

You began to feel flawed,

Trying hard to fit in,

Hearing less your true self and your real voice within.

Although we do grow up,

You're still inside residing,

Hoping we will wake up so that you can stop hiding.

Deep inside in the belly is where you belong.

You deserve to remember your own magical song.

To reach in and to find you is a meaningful goal.

Reconnecting you,

Child,

With the infinite soul.

For certain,

This world much more loving and real if we pay more attention and by letting you heal.

Inner child,

I am here now and taking good care,

Writing down all these words so that others can share.

Turn inside and connect,

Being present and wise.

Start this journey right now is my only advice.

Thank you for being here today.

I appreciate you.

May this day be a day where you reconnect to the deepest part in you and listen in to her or his needs,

Be loving and kind.

Thank you for being here.

Appreciate you.

Come back next Monday for a new episode of Soul Infused Monday and I'm wishing you an inspired,

Meaningful,

Joyful,

Beautiful week.

Much love.