Perfect Week, Day 4: Power of Vulnerability

Hello,

I'm Tomek from Synergy Lab,

Sydney.

Welcome to day 4 of Perfect Week,

7 part program designed to support your everyday well-being.

In day 4,

We continue our journey,

Exploring the inner strengths.

This time we bring our attention to a difficult emotion.

An emotion that many consider as a sign of weakness.

We take a closer look at being vulnerable.

I don't know many people that intentionally would put themselves out there,

Knowing that they may get exposed,

Embarrassed or at risk.

However,

The research shows that this is exactly the place where we learn the most,

Our growing edge.

A couple of years back,

Before I openly admitted to my interest in meditation,

I wanted to send an invitation to a group of friends from a sports club.

I've been a member of this club for over a decade.

Although I've been facilitating mindfulness sessions for a while,

Doing it for people from the club was different.

They mostly knew me as a scientist,

Working at the university.

But a few of them expressed interest in mindfulness,

I decided to give it a try.

So I began writing an email.

Nothing fancy,

Simple query.

As soon as I started,

I began to worry.

How are they going to react?

What are they going to say next time they see me?

I felt that sharing this part of my life will change their perception of me.

I felt vulnerable.

It took me 5 hours to compose an email with only 5 sentences in it.

Yes you got it right,

That's one sentence per hour.

Putting myself out there was extremely difficult.

The possibility of being judged and rejected hit me hard.

Finally I pressed send.

To my great surprise,

The moment I did it,

A sense of relief spread throughout my body.

All emotional turmoil went away in a split of a second and was replaced by a deep sense of freedom.

The response to my email was positive.

To my surprise,

A lot of mums have shown their interest in mindfulness session.

My fear and doubts turned out to be unfounded.

Brené Brown,

Researcher famous for her work on vulnerability,

Puts it this way.

Being vulnerable is a birthplace of love,

Belonging,

Joy and empathy.

I certainly discovered for myself.

Not showing our true emotions,

Avoiding being vulnerable may seem as a valid tactic in the world where appearance means so much.

However,

What we may fail to notice is that such behavior is built on a foundation of fear and shame,

Ultimately leaving us disconnected and lonely rather than safe and secure.

Today I invite you to allow some of the things that makes you feel vulnerable come to the surface.

Turn a gentle gaze towards those perfect imperfections and admit that we are indeed a work in progress.

Now,

Let's begin the practice.

Take a comfortable position in your chair.

Rest your feet on the floor.

Sit with your back straight but not rigid,

Allowing natural and unrestricted flow of your breath.

Rest your hands in your lap,

Facing up or down,

Whatever feels more comfortable.

You may adjust your position during the practice.

Remember to do it mindfully and slowly.

Now begin by taking a couple of deeper breaths,

Breathing in through your nose and breathing out through your mouth.

Do it in your own pace,

In your own time.

You may use the out-breath as an opportunity to release and let go of anything that may stand in the way of this practice.

Any tension,

Any stress.

Now,

Bring your awareness to the natural flow of your breath.

Notice how you can feel your breath stronger in certain parts of your body.

You may feel your breath as it enters through your nose.

Or you may feel expansion and contraction of your chest.

Or rise and fall of your belly.

Whichever place,

Feel your breath the strongest.

Choose it as an anchor for your attention.

This way,

You may return to your breath every time you drift away or you feel distracted.

Once you choose your anchor,

Stick with it for the remaining part of the practice.

Now that you mindfully breathe in and breathe out,

Bring awareness to your body.

If there's any tension,

You may want to release it using the out-breath.

Be aware of what's going on in your body.

And now,

Bring to your awareness this aspect of you that perhaps you feel unhappy about,

Perhaps even ashamed of.

Do not try to choose the best version of it.

And rather,

Pick whatever comes first to your mind.

And now,

As you have in mind that one thing,

Imagine a loving person,

Perhaps your close friend or partner or someone from your family.

Someone that loves you and accepts you the way you are.

And imagine telling that person about that thing that makes you feel vulnerable,

The thing that you're ashamed of,

The thing that you don't want to admit to anyone.

And as you admit it,

Some emotions and feelings may come to the surface.

Allow yourself to experience those emotions fully,

Without judging,

Without trying to change anything.

Simply be present.

And as the emotions arise,

You may also notice that they will represent themselves in your body.

Perhaps you can feel them as a tightness in your throat or a discomfort in your chest or tenderness and tightness of your belly.

Now that you localized the emotion to a certain part of your body,

Bring gently awareness to it.

Start by examining what shape has the emotion taken.

Is it soft?

What has sharp edges?

Perhaps you can assign a shape to it.

Consider it as an object.

Something that evolves,

Changes and fluctuates.

Do not try to change it.

Simply observe it.

Remember that right now,

Although you deal with your vulnerability,

This is a place where you can feel safe,

Secure and protected.

This is a place in which you can explore these feelings and those emotions in a safe and secure way.

Recognize that there are others like yourself who may feel the same way.

Allow yourself a minute or two to discover this feeling,

To discover how this feeling has a physical representation in your body.

Begin it with your awareness,

Also slowly and gently,

Without trying to change it.

And as you do it,

You may notice that the shape in your body does not stay the same,

And the detective is not attracted to the truth.

And now that you spent some time with this feeling,

It's time to welcome it and to make it full yours.

You may say it in your mind,

I welcome you,

I accept you,

I welcome you,

I accept you,

I welcome you,

I accept you.

And as you say it in your mind,

You may notice a change.

And now direct your breath towards this part of your body.

Imagine that every time you breathe in,

You bring a white cleansing energy to that part of your body.

And every time you breathe out,

You release and let go of that feeling and of that sensation in your body.

Repeat it a couple of times,

Breathing in fresh,

White cleansing energy and breathing out,

Releasing,

Letting go,

More and more,

More and more.

Continue this breathing until you clear completely the sensation in your body,

Or at least you can feel a significant difference.

This may be not fully resolved for the first time,

But with persistence and time,

You will be able to deal with it completely and fully,

Releasing it and letting go.

And now that you've dealt with the sensation in your body,

You may slowly and gently return to the natural flow of your breath.

Return to the anchor that you established at the beginning of this practice.

To conclude this meditation,

You may take another deeper breath,

Breathing in through your nose,

Hold it and out through your mouth.

Bring your awareness to your body.

You may gently wiggle your toes,

Mindfully move your fingers.

Also slowly move your head to the left and move your head to the right,

Becoming more and more present.

Start being aware of the room around you,

Of the chair that you're sitting on.

And when you're ready,

You may open your eyes and this is the end of this practice.

Feel free to repeat this practice with any other aspect of your life.

Remember,

This is work in progress and if it doesn't fully happen for the first time,

You may try again.

Thank you very much for joining me today.

I hope you can join me again in the next episode.

For now,

I wish you a wonderful day.

This is Tomek from Synergy Lab,

Sydney.

Thank you for listening.