RAIN - A Gentle Reminder To Be Kind To Yourself

Hi there,

This is Barbara and today I'd like to offer the RAIN practice.

Now the RAIN practice is a really kind way that we can care for ourselves when uncomfortable or unpleasant feelings come up.

And they often will,

That's a normal part of every life experience.

Sometimes things will happen that we don't like or we don't want.

And what makes that particularly difficult is the feeling that what is unpleasant or uncomfortable can overwhelm us or maybe it will be permanent or maybe we just don't know how to handle it.

And being able to offer ourselves this practice can make the difficult things that we hold as a normal part of life,

Let us hold them in a way that feels a little bit more kind and supportive.

So to begin,

I want to invite you just to find your seat.

Maybe let your sitz bones rest if you're seated or if you're standing maybe notice the four corners of your feet on the floor.

And if it feels comfortable and right in your body today,

Let yourself just notice what it feels like to breathe.

And there's not anything special that you need to do with your breath,

Just notice that you're breathing.

Maybe feel how the breath moves in and out of your body.

Maybe even think about the entry points and the exit points.

So maybe you notice what it feels like as it comes in through your nostrils.

And you might even notice as you exhale the breath on your top lip,

Maybe you'll notice your belly or your chest rising and falling.

It's really just an invitation to be present with the experience of breathing and also to let yourself be aware of yourself in your body at this moment.

And as we begin,

I'll just let you know a little bit about the RAIN practice.

RAIN stands for Recognize,

Allow,

Investigate,

And Nurture.

And I encourage you to use this practice whenever you need a way of being kind to yourself.

I think we could all use that.

So we'll use the example of anxiety.

Often when anxiety comes up,

We feel aversion.

We don't like it,

We don't want it,

We wish it would go away.

But we also know that anxiety is a normal human experience and experiencing anxiety does not mean that anything is wrong.

And what we might do when it comes up is instead just recognize that it's there.

You're noticing that the anxiety is present.

And you might even wonder,

How does my body tell me that I'm experiencing anxiety in this moment?

So we name it,

We recognize it,

And then we pay attention to whatever sensations are present,

Recognizing that we're having an experience of anxiety,

That we are not our thoughts and feelings,

That we experience our thoughts and feelings.

And these experiences come and go,

They're not permanent.

So just recognize that anxiety is there.

And you might recognize that it's there because maybe your shoulders are tense or you're breathing fast,

Whatever your body tells you.

So notice the clues.

And as you allow that recognition to be there,

Also let the sensations to be there,

Allow them.

And you might even just place your hands on your heart center.

I like to do that because it's a good reminder for me that I'm supportively available to myself,

That I will get through this even if I don't like it.

And you will get through it too,

Even if you don't like it.

So just allow and notice that my heart is beating fast or I notice that my shoulders are tense.

Or maybe I notice that my thoughts are racing,

I can't seem to calm down.

And as I allow that,

I might offer myself some kind words.

I'm having a really hard time right now.

May I connect to the strength I need.

May I remember that I'm not alone in this,

That everyone experiences anxiety sometimes,

Including me.

May I offer myself the kindness I need.

And as I'm allowing,

I can just watch,

I can notice.

How are the sensations moving and changing?

How am I experiencing them?

And I might even use some words to describe them to remind myself that I'm having an experience and I'm not my experience.

So maybe I could say,

No,

There's anxiety present,

There's tension present,

There's fluttering present.

Racing thoughts are present.

And again,

These are all normal human experiences and they come and go.

They happen to everyone.

And as I give myself permission to recognize and allow,

I can also have some curiosity I can investigate.

I was kind of noticing what else might be present.

What might be driving these feelings of anxiety and what could support me?

What else am I noticing in my body?

Just having a posture of curiosity and maybe even some courage and compassion rather than the usual aversion that we have when experiences that we don't like or we don't want come up.

And finally,

The end is nurture.

So we know that we don't have to identify with experiences that happen.

And instead of letting ourselves fall off a cliff,

Which we all often do sometimes,

We might instead think of ways that we can really care for ourselves,

Ways that we can be really patient and gentle with ourselves.

And so part of that might be,

Again,

Offering some words of compassion or maybe intentionally slowing and deepening the breath,

Maybe bringing in a mantra,

Reminding ourselves that we are enough or reminding ourselves that nothing is permanent.

Everything shifts and changes.

And again,

To reminding ourselves that we are not alone,

That everyone,

No matter what their lives look like on the outside,

Experiences anxiety and a range of other things that we don't like or we don't want.

Or you might even just wrap your arms around yourself.

Hold yourself gently.

Just kind of touch your arms,

Reminding yourself that you're present here in this moment.

You're having a temporary experience.

And even if the way through does not feel immediate,

It doesn't feel visible,

It doesn't feel possible,

Continue to show up for yourself and slowly bring in this rain practice.

Slowly be really clear about what nurturing you need,

What care you need.

And reminding yourself that you can get through it,

That painful,

Difficult experiences happen in every life and it does not mean that you're being punished or that anything is wrong.

And that sometimes things are hard and we have the capacity to be with,

To hold,

To get through really painful,

Difficult things.

In fact,

I'm guessing that you already have many times and you are that same person,

You will do it again.

It's just really helpful if we have really strong,

Supportive,

Caring tools,

Compassionate tools to help ourselves when things feel hard.

So I invite you to practice rain,

Recognize,

Allow,

Investigate and nurture whenever you need a little bit of extra care and compassion and we all do sometimes.

It's just a way of showing up for yourself and showing you the love and the care that you deserve.

It's really important to be able to offer that to yourself.

You deserve that.

Take good care.