Heal The Root Of The Problem

This is it.

This is where we learn to heal ourselves,

One of my favorite part of the strategies.

So you know we feel these certain ways and have these anxieties and overwhelms and wonder why we feel this way,

Where it comes from.

Are we crazy?

Are we over emotional?

All these questions in our heads,

Right?

We're in our head but we've learned to try to get in our bodies and be more present.

You can always go home to your body but this is going to try to break through some of that pain and the root really of where all of the pain comes from.

So we're all given programs at a very young age.

Think about your parents,

What they taught you,

Their mindsets,

Their own limitations,

Their views.

These people raised us and for lack of a better word they taught us how to think and form our own opinions yet they aren't really our own opinions.

We're not them.

We're our own person inside and actually have our own truth,

Right?

So when you doubt yourself,

When you're feeling unsure about decisions,

That's a lie because we do,

We all have this beautiful thing called intuition.

We feel sometimes,

Right?

Sometimes we're not in tune with it,

Sometimes we are but that is the deep down knowledge and the truth inside of us and you are strong enough to find that intuition all the time and you have to decide you're ready for that and we're going to try to do it together here today.

So we figure out what our programs are,

We observe them,

Figure out why we create patterns and we're going to break through them and the behaviors that come along with them and we're going to add these to your affirmations as well.

So whatever we come up with today,

I want you to sit afterwards if you have some time and add them to your affirmation list.

The knowledge that I do know and I can make my own decisions,

I am my own truth,

I speak my truth with ease.

Decisions come easily to me,

Whatever resonates for you.

This is actually simple.

All right,

So let's get in a comfortable seated position.

Take a deep breath.

Take another deep breath.

You can close your eyes,

Just kind of loosen up your shoulders.

You can give a little,

Couple little neck rolls.

I always like to start off with a couple neck rolls.

Whatever you want to do,

Just kind of relax your body and get comfortable and release the day.

Now you're going to decide,

Today I'm going to break through and heal my pain.

I decide right now I am ready and I'm going to break through the programs of I'm not good enough,

I'm not loved,

I'm not worthy,

I'm not safe.

Whatever resonates with you,

Often it is I'm not good enough,

I'm not worthy.

Those are the biggest ones that really are common in women especially.

All right,

So we're going to sit with those.

And now if you have your eyes open,

You can open them up for a second and we're going to really dig in and go down to your deepest problems.

I want you to sit with this.

Like we showed you last week,

You're going to come into your body and sway a little bit,

Get the hips moving,

The shoulders moving in a wave-like manner.

Just sit and get inside your body if you want to envision the light coming in,

Feeling centered,

Getting out of your mind,

Knowing that you are in your body,

You are with your truth.

I am here with you,

You're not alone.

There is the energy around you and if your body is not well,

Your mind is not well,

Right?

So I want you to feel where you may have any discomfort,

Maybe even pain,

Maybe you have a headache right now,

Maybe your stomach's in knots,

Maybe you're nervous about this,

Where do you feel that?

I want you to observe it.

I want you to feel it.

Let it,

Let it be felt.

That's okay,

I want you to feel it and observe where do you have tension,

Is it in your jaw?

Is it in your neck?

Do you have your shoulders up high?

You can loosen them up a little.

Right now I want you to put your feet to the floor if they're not.

We want to be grounded for this and sit up tall now,

Okay?

Relax into your body.

You are now in your body.

Get out of your head.

Let those thoughts just pass by you and just ignore,

Just get in your body.

Where do you feel the fear,

The drama or the block in your body?

You know,

You know where the pain usually settles or the anxiety is held.

You're not in your body if you don't feel.

Feel the emotions,

Right?

Because we're trying to get in our body and feel this,

Okay?

It's okay to have those emotions,

To feel the pain or sadness wherever it is,

Okay?

I want you to keep the waves going now.

Go back to waving your body.

A couple of head rolls.

Move your shoulders,

Whatever feels natural.

Eyes closed open,

Whatever you prefer.

I really like to close my eyes during this.

It makes me just feel more in my body and I don't get as distracted.

Now where is the block?

Say it out loud.

Where's your block?

Mine is often in my throat and my neck.

Where's yours?

Your head,

Your chest.

Often if you're in your head,

It's because the thoughts,

Thoughts,

The anxiety keeps coming.

Your throat is because you haven't been speaking your truth.

You haven't been able to say the things you want to say.

You feel people don't listen to you.

You're not worthy.

You're not valued.

You hold back.

Maybe you're a people pleaser.

You hold back.

Okay?

Now all of the pressure of the cans and the can'ts might be in your head.

They might be in your chest.

You might feel kind of suffocation with anxiety sometimes.

Do you feel that now or in your stomach?

Stomach is from being kind of out of control.

You don't feel like you have a levelness.

You don't feel like you're even.

There's this out of control feeling.

Maybe it's more than one.

Lucky you.

Some of us have more than one.

I do often sometimes my jaw is my main thing but my stomach gets it as well.

Okay.

Now I want you to put your hands.

I want you to first rub them together.

You know,

Rub them together,

Get them a little warm.

Warm them up and I want you to put those hands over the blocked area.

So let's say I'm going to hold mine over my throat right now.

That's where I tend to hold it so I'll just do it there.

Okay?

I had years of tension all through my neck and jaw.

Mostly where the mind lived.

I felt the pain there.

When I first did this,

I felt it hardcore and I actually breaking through it,

It did really brought it to the forefront even the next day and I did it again to really get it all the way out.

So you might need to do that because I didn't let myself feel the pain all the way the first time.

Don't beat yourself up.

I didn't.

I just did it again the next day.

So if you feel pain,

That's okay.

That's good.

That means you're going to break through it.

Now let yourself feel it.

Open the throat.

Breathe.

I can do this.

I am ready.

I'm strong enough.

You are never alone.

I am here.

Energy.

You believe in God.

God is here with you.

Of course,

Always.

You're not alone and it's okay to get vulnerable.

It might feel strange.

This is all new stuff but this is also what you've been waiting for.

We want to heal so you can live a better life.

Now stand with the pain.

Accept it.

This pain is you.

You have to make peace with it.

Breathe in and out.

Make those same noises when we were coming home in the previous meditation.

Continue holding wherever your pain is,

Wherever you hold pain.

I want you to keep your eyes closed and I want you to give that pain a color.

Not a pretty color.

This isn't like rainbow sparkles and happiness,

Right?

This is pain.

Pain is a muddy,

Dark maroon.

Just an icky,

Thick color,

Thick feeling.

Give it whatever color.

Black.

Usually some sort of dark color.

Give that pain a color.

What is the feeling of that?

What are you feeling?

I want you to feel the pain in your emotion.

What is that,

If you have anxiety or sadness?

Let it sit.

It's okay.

Let it sit.

Where is that coming from?

What is it?

Do you feel not enough?

Not love?

Not safe?

It's okay.

Feel it.

You can cry.

Let it out.

You're supposed to have emotion separating from this,

Pushing that back where you,

I don't want to cry.

I don't want to cry.

Don't do that.

This is where you're allowed to let yourself free.

You're feeling from the body,

Not the head.

If you stop it,

You are not going to let it out.

It's going to get stuck in there.

Drop your shoulders.

Relax.

Say out loud.

My pain is because I do not feel good enough.

My pain is because of anxiety,

But where is that anxiety from?

What is it from?

My pain is because I don't deserve a better life.

Maybe that's it.

Maybe you feel that way.

Where's your pain coming from?

Only you can decide,

Only you know this.

I want you to say that you're not going to keep it in your head anymore.

I want you to release it.

Your whole life,

You've been told things that aren't true,

Given limits you don't need.

You are worthy of more.

You are capable of more.

Maybe you feel you're just not capable.

You are.

You are capable.

You're as capable as anybody else.

The only way to get that person back is to heal and let her through.

There's that little girl we talk about,

That little girl who's taught these programs.

She was capable of anything,

Right?

She wanted to fly.

She wanted to be so many things,

And she is you,

And you are her.

You need to just take the blocks off,

Take the limits off,

Take the beliefs,

The programs that are in your head.

You need to release them now.

You are worthy.

You are capable.

You are beautiful.

You are strong.

You are amazing,

And you are a badass,

And you better come out.

You do not let that little girl down.

You do not let her down.

Would you tell that little girl any of that stuff?

Would you let her look in the mirror and not see beauty?

Would you let her look in the mirror and tell her she's not smart enough or she's not strong enough?

No.

That little girl is you.

You are still her,

And you have it all.

You can have it all,

But you have to decide now.

You have to decide and take responsibility for yourself.

You don't let her down,

And you do not let yourself down anymore.

You are worthy.

Say it.

I am worthy.

I am her,

And I am worthy,

And I have it all.

Say it.

It's okay if you're emotional.

It's okay if you're angry.

If you're angry for letting someone else give you programs,

And there's nothing wrong with our parents or grandparents,

Whoever gave us certain programs,

Nothing's wrong with them.

They're not bad people.

It's the same programs they were given.

So no,

We're not mad.

We don't have to have anger toward anyone.

We can be angry that it's taken this long,

But a lot of people go through all of life and don't get to heal.

I'm 39.

I just started healing in the last year.

My life has done a 360,

A 180 maybe.

360 would be a circle,

But you know what I'm saying.

My life has flipped upside down,

And you know why?

Because I decided that I wasn't going to let myself down anymore,

And I wanted to be a certain person,

And I knew she was in there,

And I got to the bottom of what my own truth is,

What the programs were taught to me,

Did to me,

And I saw how simple it was that I have a chance to not believe them anymore.

I have a chance to know I am capable of so much,

And so are you.

We all are.

It's a matter of recognizing it,

Believing it,

And acting on it,

So it is up to you.

There's no finger pointing.

There's no blaming anyone else.

You are the only person who can make this decision to heal and move forward,

And you do it until you can come back to this.

You do it until everything is healed,

These programs,

You don't believe them anymore,

And you bust through them,

And you cry,

And when you cry from your body,

It can be a sob.

It can be intense,

And you let it out,

But it also goes quickly.

You don't need to be crying.

When you cry from your head,

You can cry for hours in your head and thinking and thinking,

No,

This is simple.

You were told something that wasn't true.

It's time to change it.

Cry about it,

Heal through it,

And then we move on.

If you have to go back,

Sure.

I have to still go back and do some of these once in a while.

That's okay,

But once you do this,

And you understand where it comes from,

And how you can heal it and power through it,

Your life will change,

But you have to keep deciding and keep believing to make those changes.

Think back.

This can be any time before age seven where these were really formed.

I had a not safe program because my dad was abusive to my mom,

And I felt that from her.

I felt her energy,

Her being afraid,

Her afraid,

And she was never good enough.

Very chauvinistic family,

Old school Italian,

And she was a woman.

They were not respected like men,

And she was not good enough,

And she was afraid at the same time,

Anxiety-filled.

I grew up with that energy and those programs,

Not anymore.

What is it?

What program did you grow up in?

Was there abuse in your family?

Were you just dismissed?

My father didn't spend a ton of time with me,

And at one point he moved away,

And that made me feel like I was worthless.

He didn't care about me anymore.

That's not true.

Your worth is not dependent on anybody else,

So whatever stuff you have from when you were a child,

Dig in there.

Get it out.

Show it.

Show yourself.

Okay,

Let it out.

It's the only way you're going to get past it.

What are these programs?

What do people tell you?

How do people make you feel?

It's all a lie.

Your worth,

Your value,

Your love is not dependent on any of that,

So we're going to break through that.

Okay.

You're going to let it out.

You're going to cry about it,

Get mad about it,

And then you're going to say,

Okay,

You know what,

Little girl?

Old me.

You had some sadness and anxiety,

And that's what shows up in my life now,

But not anymore.

Not anymore because we healed it.

We cried through it.

We went through the other side,

And now I am here for you.

You are there for your younger child,

Your younger self.

You are there,

And you are giving her love,

And you are telling her how worthy she is.

You are telling her she is important,

And she is strong,

And she is fierce,

And she is capable of freaking anything she puts her mind to.

You wouldn't dare tell her otherwise,

Right?

That is you.

That little girl is you.

Don't let her down.

Please don't let her down.

You are too awesome to let yourself down.

I'm not going to let that happen,

So I'm here for you.

If you feel like you get unmotivated or this is hard for you,

We can talk.

I can try to talk you through this,

Or you can just try and go back yourself,

But I hope that this is healing the first time.

If not,

Redo it again tomorrow.

Give yourself a break.

Try it again tomorrow,

And there will be multiple programs,

So you can do this more than once if you have to,

Or if you can get multiple programs out at the same time,

Go ahead.

All right.

I want you to say,

I am free now.

I am free from this program that I believe.

I am free.

It is not my program anymore.

You're going to add that to your affirmation,

And you're going to add the new program.

We're going to talk about what that new program is when we talk on the phone.

Don't stop the feelings if they're coming.

Breathe.

Let it all come in.

It's okay.

It's okay to let it out.

We are doing it now,

And we don't have to do it again if we do it and really feel it and let it out.

This is your program,

And you're in control.

You are not damaged.

You are not a mess.

These are simply programs and lies.

Breathe in.

The healing is now evaporating and lifting.

Let it go.

Let it off your shoulders.

If you are still having emotions,

Let it out,

And let it be lifted from you.

You don't deserve to be held down by this.

You don't have to.

Now we're going to call in someone you love and trust and feel unconditional love.

If there isn't someone,

A healthy ancestor,

Living or dead,

Or trusted loved one,

You can call me in.

I love you unconditionally.

You are one of my sisters.

You are part of this universe.

We are connected,

And I love you unconditionally.

You can call me in for this.

Ina is my friend who passed away when I was younger,

And I felt has always been with me,

And she always was so loving and always loved me unconditionally.

I think of her as my guardian angel.

All right,

Open the throat.

Relax the shoulders.

Big breath.

All right,

Who'd you call in?

Just let them be there.

Wait to feel their presence and that soothing love.

How does that feel?

How does that feel to have unconditional love around you?

You are freeing yourself.

Describe the person you call in,

Your guardian angel,

However you want to refer to them.

You can only feel them when you are out of your head.

Get out of your head if you're thinking too much.

Get out.

Get back in your body.

That's when you can feel them and their love.

Relaxed and present.

Call in their energy and connect to the energy around you.

Open your throat.

Sit up and straight.

Envision light coming from the floor up through your body,

Through the top of your head.

How do you feel when you call that energy in,

Unconditional love?

You can't feel anxiety when you have that love flowing through you,

Right?

Breathe in that feeling.

Enjoy it.

You might be smiling or just feeling little butterflies.

How good does it feel to have someone that loves you like that,

That energy in your body?

Feeling an ease and openness.

You can fear fierce and strength in this.

I envision my fierceness as a unicorn,

So whenever I go in body and I call in my guardian angel and I also call in my unicorn because I want to feel that love,

But I also want that fierce,

That strength,

That determination.

May sound hokey,

But it helps me envision.

I'm very visual.

Whatever you need to do.

Let's get to the good part,

Deciding our truth.

I am love.

I am a healer.

I am sunshine.

I am fierce.

I am wild.

I am a queen.

I was given programs,

But not truth,

Not my truth.

This is me.

This is when miracles and magic happen in my body,

In my truth,

Not around the stories and the lies and the limits.

Is that where the where the magic,

The miracles,

All the wonderful things happen when we limit ourselves and tell ourselves awful lies when we're told lies?

No beauty is in the truth.

I am unique and beautiful and amazing.

This is why I started with the affirmations to get you comfortable so you feel comfortable loving yourself and speaking this way because it is true and you cannot heal.

You cannot change your life without believing in yourself.

You've got to heal and you've got to believe.

Hands on your belly.

Move your hips side to side like in our body meditation.

We're back to the waves.

Think of the things that stopped you,

That stopped you or things you stopped because you weren't good enough or you were too old or too much or you're a mom now.

You know,

Everyone else is first,

But also you might look silly doing these things or you might,

You know,

You're just too,

Too mature to whatever for that.

These are stories.

These are stories in society's stories.

I stopped dancing for years.

I stopped just being filled with joy and feeling that childlike happiness.

As I got older,

I got told I was too much or hyper or whatever growing up and I started to block it.

Not anymore.

And you know what?

I am a lot happier in my truth being that little girl full of joy,

Dancing my freaking butt off every morning,

Working out,

Just feeling the joys of everyday life,

Looking at the trees and enjoying it,

Looking at the sun,

Taking those moments even with my kids.

This doesn't mean you have to be away from everyone to get any of this time.

You should have alone time,

But enjoy the moments with your kids and your family,

Your spouse,

Your friends.

Share this joy with everybody.

And the people who don't understand it aren't part of your truth.

I found such amazing true friends the last year of my life because I found myself and in that I found my true friends and there were friends from previously and that I still continue to be friends with.

But I,

When you find your truth,

You will be amazed what comes to you and is attracted to you.

It is,

It's crazy.

You have to experience it yourself to believe it.

Okay.

So whatever it is,

Writing,

Riding horses,

Something,

What's something you were afraid to do.

You never did because you're afraid,

But now you can because you know you're limitless.

What do you want to do?

What do you want to do?

Even if you have that little fear,

You got to break through that and that that is part of this.

You have to figure out what you want to do and you have to take steps,

Immediate steps to do those things because we've waited too long.

We've been hiding too long.

Listen to that intuition.

When you think what you did when you were little,

What did you love to do?

That's usually a lot of our truth.

I loved writing since I can remember.

I loved dancing since I was out of the womb.

That is my truth.

What is your truth?

Add more of your truth into your life because without it you are not going to thrive.

And you know what?

Let's say it's dancing,

Writing,

Drawing.

Add that into your morning routine.

I don't care if you have to wake up a little earlier.

I don't.

I was the worst when I started this.

I was like,

Oh my God,

I am not a morning person.

Guess who's a morning person now and who thrives every day and wakes up excited about life.

I start my day dancing.

I start my day meditating.

Some days I write and in the evenings I draw.

I do baths.

You can fit it in.

You can make time for it,

But you have to make sure that you are the one deciding to do it.

It has to come from you.

Nobody can make you do this stuff.

You have to say,

I want my truth.

I want to be happy.

And you know how to do it and you have to take those steps to do it.

You can start tomorrow.

So cut,

Cut the excuses.

I gave excuses for years.

No more.

It is time to cut.

This is,

This is it.

This is the healing session.

This is the hard stuff,

But you know what's harder?

Coasting through life.

That's what's freaking hard.

And I'm not,

I'm not yelling at you.

I'm yelling at myself,

My old self.

That's why I'm yelling at because I know it all too well.

And you know what?

I can tell you from the other side,

I am looking at you.

You step over this little mountain.

That's not even that big.

You break through and it is gold over here.

So get your ass over here and join me.

Don't,

Don't block that little girl.

Imagine that little girl,

Anytime you doubt yourself or you have anxiety and you have fears of becoming more,

Doing things,

What if that little girl really,

She wanted to dance?

What if she told you she wanted to just paint a painting?

I'm going to tell her,

No,

You don't have time for that.

No,

Let her dance.

Let her find her truth and have joy.

She is you and you are her and you deserve it.

What does she want to do in this world full of opportunities and beautiful things?

We have one life dependent on your beliefs,

But right now this life,

Okay,

There is one life right now going on in this body,

In this mind,

In the soul.

You're going to tell me out of all the things out there,

You're not going to grasp onto a few of the most amazing things that make you feel joy and make you feel like yourself.

You're going to let that slip by.

You're going to let that slip by for that little girl.

No you're not.

You're not doing it anymore.

You are going to decide to really embrace this life and this world and your truth.

You are doing a disservice to that little girl and yourself if you don't.

Okay.

All right,

So let's just breathe and relax a little.

That was the fierce part,

The unicorn coming out,

But here we go getting your body.

Relax a little.

I want you to hold onto that though because you are fierce too and you have that drive in you and you will make it happen.

Don't let yourself down.

Don't let her down,

Okay?

Every day you are going to decide to take advantage of this beautiful world and all the things that are offered to us and all your talents.

You have talents.

You know what they are.

Share them with the world.

Share them with yourself first,

But also share them with the world.

Okay.

I want you to breathe in.

Breathe out.

Breathe in.

Just relax.

We are going to open our eyes if they are not already open in three,

Two,

One.

Okay?

So we have acknowledged maybe some root causes.

Maybe you need to go back and do it again tomorrow.

May not be one session for you.

That's okay.

Practice practice.

Okay.

Once again,

Once again,

Remember you decide.

We all decide when we're ready and I think you're ready.

If you made it through this,

You are ready and you want it and now you have to take the action to do it and you can.

You are capable.

You're worthy of the action.

You have no limits.

You get to decide what you do.

I'm here to help you along the way,

But you get to decide and only you know what it is you want and what you are inside and what that little girl wants.

All right.

I am so proud of you for making it through this.

I know it's not easy.

It's not easy,

But once you're on the other side,

It becomes easy because you see how much better the world can be,

How much brighter the days are,

How much easier the motivation comes,

How much pain,

Less pain full workouts are just that,

Oh,

I have to do this or that or how hard it is.

And we'll talk about that more too,

But there is so much that we are capable of and it is right on the other side.

You are here.

You just have to take those steps and you are going to.

You are a bad ass.

I believe in you.

You're going to do it and I will talk to you soon.

So proud of you.