This is a meditation for bringing mindfulness to habits of resistance or aversion to anything normally manifest in feelings of anger,
Annoyance,
Impatience,
Frustration or judgment of ourselves or others.
For this meditation sit in a way that's relaxed and alert,
Opening to whatever you're experiencing right now.
Take some moments to relax and settle by taking some full deep breaths and inviting any area of tension in the body to soften.
Bring to mind a situation where you felt impatient,
Annoyed,
Frustrated,
Angry,
Judgmental or some other difficult emotion.
It might be dealing with an account representative on the telephone and being kept waiting or not getting what you needed,
Or being stuck in traffic,
Or being in conflict with a co-worker or a friend or family member.
Or feeling that you've let yourself down or someone else has let you down,
Or getting angry listening to or reading something that you disagree with strongly.
Try to find something that's more than a one time experience,
Preferably something that forms part of a habit or a pattern of responding.
Let the situation come fully into your mind,
Who was there,
What they said,
What you said or did,
What you were doing,
What you were doing,
What you were doing,
Who was there,
What they said,
What you said or did,
How you felt.
Let yourself experience it all,
But choose not to become caught up in the story,
They did this or I should have done that.
Let go of that and allow yourself to be with the direct experience.
Allow yourself to feel whatever bodily sensations are present.
Heaviness,
Tightness,
Contraction,
Tension,
Heat.
And meet these feelings with acceptance,
With kindness and with interest.
Stay with the feelings and notice if they change,
If they go away for a while,
Get stronger.
Remember,
Meet whatever's present with interest,
With curiosity and with kindness.
Open too to any emotions that are here,
Anger,
Frustration,
Sadness,
Guilt and allow yourself to feel it.
Notice how it feels in your body and say yes to what you're feeling.
And say yes to what you're feeling.
If the feelings or emotions are intense,
Imagine you're riding the waves of feeling and emotion as they get stronger,
They crest and then they ebb.
Observe how the emotions stay for a time and then pass.
Notice any urges to respond that might come up,
To say something or to do something.
And allow yourself to experience the urges and the wishes that come up.
Allow them to come and go.
If thoughts arise about yourself,
What you did or said or could have done or said,
Or about what someone else did or said,
Notice how the feelings are here,
The emotions are here,
The emotions are here.
If thoughts arise about yourself,
What you did or said or could have done or said,
Or about what someone else said or did,
Or about what happened.
Meet these thoughts with kindness and acceptance.
Bow to them metaphorically and let them come and go.
Keep opening in this way to the changing flow of sensations,
Emotions,
Urges and thoughts and let them come and go.
Holding your experience with kindness and with care.
And if and when they subside,
Take some moments to sit quietly with whatever you're feeling.
When we open in this way to these feelings,
Sensations,
Emotions,
Urges and impulses,
And just see how they come and they go,
How they ebb and flow,
Then we can untangle ourselves from entrenched habit patterns,
Habits of reacting with anger or with judgment,
With harsh words.
We can allow ourselves to fully experience the internal reactions without acting on them.
We can choose to make more healthy choices.
Establishing new and more helpful habit patterns.
So let's just sit for a couple of moments,
Opening to whatever is present with kindness and with acceptance.
The French philosopher and author Albert Camus said,
We all carry with us our crimes,
Our ravages,
Our places of exile.
Our task is not to unleash them on the world,
But to transform them in ourselves and others.
