As you're paying attention,
You might also have your eyes open for this or just have your gaze soft but your eyes still open.
Anytime you feel like you're getting too far into it or you feel like the past or some thoughts are kind of hijacking you,
Then open your eyes again and regulate.
We want to stay present with the body but we don't want to let ourselves get kind of dragged back into a past traumatic memory.
We start just by this acknowledgement.
My trauma is legitimate too.
My trauma is legitimate too.
I've been hurt,
Made to feel like it was my fault,
That there's something wrong with me and I was left without support.
And you might have a specific trauma coming to mind or maybe it's more general.
What does it feel like in your body to reflect on that?
I've been hurt,
Made to feel like it was my fault and there's something wrong with me and I didn't have any support.
Notice the sensations,
The sensations and the energies.
You might notice the specifics about the sensations,
Maybe the location,
If it's moving or still,
If it's hot or cold,
Those kinds of things.
Thoughts might come in and that's fine.
We're not pushing them away but we're not really following them either.
Let them be a little bit in the background and stay here with the feeling.
Notice if you're able to do that comfortably,
If there's a urge to get away from it or if you dissociate for a minute.
Just experimenting and seeing what our experience is right now.
And to that energy you could say,
I'll stay here with you.
You're not too much,
You're not too sensitive.
You don't need to minimize what happened.
I'm here for you now.
I'm going to stay.
Noticing the sensation,
The feelings in your body.
Notice your breath.
Open your eyes.
Look around the room if you need to.
Just sitting with this experience,
Noticing the energy,
The sensation.
Notice thoughts come in.
We just observe them,
Witness them.
Then we come back to feeling the sensation in our body.
You are not responsible for being traumatized,
Even if you made a mistake,
Even if you trusted the wrong person,
Even if you froze instead of fighting.
Your experience is valid.
You don't have to be the worst hurt in order to be deserving of kindness,
Compassion,
Empathy.
We could let go of comparing ourselves with others.
Continue to notice that in your body.
What does that feel like as you're staying with these sensations?
I don't have to turn away from this.
I can be here for myself.
I can be kind.
Continue to notice what's coming in,
In terms of thoughts.
You might even bring in some of the self-gaslightings,
Some of the things you would have said to yourself in the past.
Oh,
You didn't have it so bad.
Other people had it worse.
We don't have to believe that.
We don't have to go along with that anymore.
It's not true.
It doesn't help to compare.
We could acknowledge our own trauma affected us.
Our experiences in our life affected us.
Oftentimes,
We felt alone.
We felt shamed,
Like there's something wrong with us.
Now we're seeing it more clearly.
Even if we made mistakes,
That doesn't dissolve other people,
What they did.
It doesn't mean that we're at fault.
It just means a series of things happened.
We tried to stay with it as best we could and to survive.
Now we have energy around this.
We have feelings,
And we're sitting with that.
Notice if you could really bring yourself into some kindness for a moment,
Just as you might for somebody else who's suffering.
Would you be kind with yourself,
With your younger self,
And with yourself right now,
Your adult self right now?
You could put a hand or both hands on your heart.
Offer yourself that support.
Feel the warmth of your hands.
Take a few deep breaths.
Notice your body.
Then open your eyes again and regulate.
