How To Reduce The Power Of Unworthiness

Hello,

My name is Noah Alkrief and in this video I am going to provide you with a tactic to deal with your unworthiness,

Your inadequacy,

And other feelings,

But I'm specifically targeting that one,

Or that set of emotions.

So I'm going to dive right in it seems.

What I'm going to share with you now is not a theory and it's not a concept.

We're going to go on an exercise together.

You can keep your eyes open if you prefer,

But this exercise is meant to be done specifically with your eyes closed.

So maybe you just hear me now and maybe you see me.

Inadequacy,

Self hate,

Shame,

I'm defective,

I'm broken,

I'm not enough,

Everything I do is wrong.

You recognize any of these?

Do you resonate with any of these?

Can you sense any of these in yourself?

If so,

That's okay.

That's normal.

Everybody has that.

Whether they look so confident and successful and worthy and filled with friends and lovers on the outside,

I'm most guaranteed they still have this on the inside.

You are not defective for feeling defective.

You are not defective for feeling inadequate or like something is missing.

These are really deep humanitarian,

Deep human wounds.

These are deep human wounds.

So today,

Instead of running away from them and trying to pretend they don't exist within ourselves,

We're going to invite them up and explore them.

We are going to be like primary researchers,

Scientists,

Explorers of new land,

New territory in ourselves.

Even if you felt these emotions a million times,

Maybe today we explore it in a very,

Very different way than you used to.

So what is unworthiness?

What is inadequacy?

How do you feel it?

There are many ways to feel these emotions.

Some people just feel them in their head as concepts.

You're just maybe familiar with it as a thought.

I'm no good.

I'm not enough.

Everything I do is wrong.

So the only thing you're aware of in your inadequacy is a belief,

A mental voice that keeps telling you how terrible or insufficient you are.

That's one level of that emotion.

It's just the concept,

The thought,

The belief.

For others of you,

Sometimes you might feel it in your body.

When you feel unworthy or inadequate,

You might feel pressure on your chest.

You might feel heavy.

You might feel foggy.

You might feel very fragile,

Exposed.

I understand.

I've been there more often than I would have liked.

And for others of you,

You may feel it more as a concept like an abstract concept that when I feel unworthy,

Maybe it feels like there's a blanket over me or a fog all around me or a weight all around me or I feel really small.

Maybe I feel like transparent,

Like I don't have any solidness.

Maybe I feel weak.

There are many,

Many ways that we can experience inadequacy or unworthiness.

Many words that resonate.

Maybe when I say inadequacy or unworthiness,

Those words don't resonate with you.

I'm just using them to cover the category of feeling bad about ourselves.

That's I feel horrible with myself.

I'm terrible.

Or it's I just have a subtle sense of lack,

A subtle sense of insufficiency.

I'm using the word unworthiness or inadequacy to cover this whole category.

So in this moment,

I invite you to summon unworthiness,

To summon inadequacy in whatever form you don't like.

So in other words,

I'm inviting you to bring up the belief or feeling that you don't like,

That you hate,

That you've been running away from.

And we're going to explore it together.

But before you do,

I just want to throw in a little disclaimer that if you're really scared to bring it up,

Trust yourself.

Don't push yourself too far.

Don't force yourself to do it.

Maybe you want to do it when you have someone with you who you trust,

Someone with you who you feel can help you if something doesn't,

If it gets too far for you.

So don't push yourself.

Now back to where we were.

I want you to close your eyes and summon the inadequacy.

I want you to tell yourself the story that makes you feel inadequate.

I want you to go back to a moment maybe when you felt unworthy.

Take a moment and do that.

Imagine the scenery,

Who's there,

What happened?

It makes you feel hurt.

Maybe someone broke up with you.

Maybe you failed something.

Maybe you got fired.

Maybe someone insulted you,

I don't know.

Whatever you want,

Whatever you want to bring up or whatever you don't want to feel,

Whatever experience you're trying to get away from,

Let's go there together.

I'm here with you.

And instead of trying to avoid it when it comes up and projecting onto others,

They're bad,

How could they do this?

We keep it really close to ourselves.

We even exacerbate it and we tell ourselves,

I'm inadequate,

I'm unworthy.

Everything I do is wrong.

I'm not enough.

I'll never be enough.

And once you feel it,

Stop.

Once you feel the unworthiness,

Once you feel the inadequacy,

Stop.

Stop telling the story and shift your attention onto your physical experience.

What do you feel?

You have no more purpose for this story.

You don't need the story anymore.

You don't need the thoughts anymore.

You want to focus in on our experience.

Where do I feel this in my body?

Where do we feel it?

Maybe my chest,

Maybe my stomach,

Maybe my solar plexus.

Maybe my head,

Maybe my eyes.

Where do you feel it?

Maybe this is a new concept for you and you're only used to experiencing this emotion as a mental concept,

As a thought.

But I invite you to really curiously explore.

Emotions exist partly in the body.

So where do I feel this in my body?

Maybe it's really subtle and maybe it's really intense.

Maybe it's somewhere in between,

All of which is okay.

We're not trying to create anything in this moment.

We just want to curiously explore.

And once you become aware of where it is,

Notice how big it is.

Is it like a tennis ball?

A ping pong ball?

A basketball?

Is it your whole head?

Is it your whole chest?

How big is it?

Take a moment and just check it out.

Once that's clear,

What's it made out of?

Does it feel hard,

Like a solid?

Does it feel really transparent and less dense,

Like a gas?

Or is it something in between,

Like a liquid or a gel or a clay?

What does it feel like to you?

Forget about calling it names,

Like shame or unworthiness.

I'm curious what the physical experience is.

Now,

We know what it's made of and we know how big it is.

The next question is,

Does it have a movement?

Is it vibrating?

Does it feel like it's expanding?

Does it feel like you're pushing down on it?

Does it feel like there's a pressure inward,

A pressure outward?

Is it going up and down?

Is it floating all around?

It's still not moving at all.

What's the movement?

There's nothing that's right or wrong.

It's just an exploration.

So,

Next I'd like to ask you what color does it seem to be?

I know it's not a color,

But what color does it seem to be when you imagine it?

Does it seem to be dark or light?

Blue,

Red,

Green,

Gray,

Black,

White?

What's it like?

If you can't see a color,

That's okay too.

We're just exploring.

We're just curious.

That's it.

So,

Now you are aware of a physical object somewhere in your body.

You're aware of a physical object.

It's this size.

It's made of this substance.

It's this color.

It has this movement.

Notice you're aware of it.

It is not you.

You are aware of other sensations in other parts of your body.

You're also aware of your arm,

Of your leg,

Of your feeling of your thighs against the chair.

This is just one sensation you happen to be aware of.

It is not who you are.

You are aware of it.

You're watching it.

You're noticing it.

You're aware of the texture and the quality and the size.

So even if we were to call it unworthiness,

You're aware of it.

It's not I am unworthy.

I'm aware of a sensation,

An object that I'm calling unworthiness.

Just noticing that can reduce the power of it.

Normally,

When we feel unworthiness,

It's like I'm unworthy.

It seems to define my whole experience,

My whole being.

I'm unworthy.

I'm inadequate.

I'm no good.

I'm insufficient.

This is actually I'm here,

And I'm aware of a sensation maybe in my chest that I'm calling inadequacy.

It doesn't define you.

It's not who you are.

It's not the only thing that exists in this moment.

It's just one thing you're aware of right now.

Is that clear?

The next thing I want you to explore and become aware of is that it's not unworthiness.

It's not inadequacy.

It's not defectiveness.

It's just an energy.

It's just a physical experience that you are labeling as unworthiness or inadequacy.

Stop calling it names.

Stop calling this energy names.

It's like seeing a person in front of you and calling them a gangster.

As soon as you call them a gangster,

You'll never see them.

You're relating to them through your relationship to that word gangster instead of seeing the person in front of you.

As soon as you were to call that person a gangster,

You would just relate to them through fear and hatred.

You've cut out all possibility of love and connection.

Stop calling this energy a name.

As soon as you call it unworthiness or inadequacy,

The words unworthiness and inadequacy have such a negative connotation.

I don't want that.

It's terrible.

I hate it.

I don't want you here.

Let go of the label.

Let go of the name and just meet the sensation.

Meet the energy.

Speak to this energy.

Speak to this object as if it's alive and tell this object,

I don't want to call you names anymore.

I don't want to insult you with names like shame and inadequacy and defectiveness.

I want to see what you are.

How big are you?

What would you like to do here?

What are you?

What are you if I let go of all my preconceived ideas about you?

If I let go of all my conditioning about how I'm supposed to relate to you?

That as soon as you call up,

I should try to get rid of you and never,

Never look at you again.

I don't want to do that anymore.

I don't like running from you.

I don't like hating you.

The same way as if we were a racist calling someone a terrorist.

I don't want to hate you.

I don't want to fear you.

I want to get to know you and see if you're really dangerous and bad.

Maybe you're actually a nice guy.

Speak to this energy.

Speak to this object in your body that you previously called unworthiness or feeling of defectiveness or brokenness or everything I do is wrong.

Speak to this object like it's alive and see what it really is.

I'm not telling you to treat it nicely necessarily.

I'm not saying,

Oh,

Now make it your best friend.

That's not what this is about.

This is about having an open mind to it,

An open exploration.

Like,

Yes,

I believe the person in front of me is a terrorist,

But I'm not sure.

And I've been running from him for a long time and I'm tired of running.

I first just want to verify maybe he's not a terrorist.

Maybe he's a nice guy and I'm just treating him that way because my mommy told me he's a bad person.

So you have an object in your body,

An energy in your body that you are calling names that you are treating unkindly and it's not serving you.

And it may not be true.

So as you speak to this energy,

This object,

Tell the energy,

I don't want to run from you.

I don't want to fight you.

I don't want to hate you.

I don't want to call you names.

I just want to see what you are and meet you openly and honestly.

That is where we start.

What is this thing?

And tell the energy,

Do what you want.

I don't want to push you down.

I don't want to keep you as small as possible.

I want to see what will happen if I just let you do whatever you do.

Maybe I cry.

Maybe you get bigger.

Maybe you get smaller.

Maybe you get more dense.

Maybe you get less dense.

I don't know.

I just want to explore what happens if I let you do what you want.

If I stop fighting you and resisting.

This energy doesn't prove you're unworthy.

It's not even unworthiness.

It's just an idea.

It's just a sensation in your body.

You don't have to run from it.

You don't have to fight it.

In fact,

I would invite you to open to it.

So what is your relationship right now to this energy?

Are you scared of it?

Do you hate it?

Do you like it?

Is it neutral?

Can you feel compassion towards it?

Maybe you realize you've been treating it like crap for so long and now you feel compassion.

Like,

I'm sorry I've been treating you this way for so long.

Like,

I've never actually listened to you.

I just tell you go away.

But I never actually asked.

How are you?

Is there anything you'd like to say to me?

Is there anything you'd like to do in my body?

How can I support you?

These are kind,

Open-hearted questions.

And the intention of them is not to get rid of this feeling.

It's to see what is this feeling and what will it do?

What will this object or energy or movement do in my body if I just give it complete permission to do what it wants and even support it to do what it wants?

What would happen now?

And if it feels okay for you,

Keep inviting the energy to do what it wants.

Just as an exploration,

You have no idea what will happen.

Maybe it bounces around your body.

Maybe it explodes.

Maybe it dissolves.

Maybe it gets more dense.

I don't know.

I'm not going to tell you it could go a million different ways.

It's up to you to explore and see what happens when you stop fighting.

And if it's too scary for you to let go of your resistance to this energy,

Don't do it.

That's okay.

Honor that you're afraid.

And maybe you need someone physically with you one-on-one to support you to be able to go there.

Or maybe this just doesn't even resonate with you and you never want to.

That's perfect too.

So notice you're aware of an energy that you are now relating to.

So it can't be you because you are relating to it.

Notice that.

Don't get sucked into it.

Stay aware of it.

Watch it.

It's okay.

Whatever it's doing.

And I invite you to explore that for a few minutes at least.

Even after this video ends and just have an ongoing exploration with these emotions of unworthiness and inadequacy.

What are they?

I'm running from them.

Maybe spending my life trying to get success or love so I never have to feel this inadequacy.

But have I ever actually taken the time to get to know if it's something that I need to run from,

That I need to get away from?

Maybe you like it.

Maybe it's enjoyable.

Maybe it dissolves the moment you start talking to it.

I don't know.

But I leave you with that exploration.

So thank you for watching.

And I really welcome your comments.

Tell me what happened for you in this exploration.

What you felt.

What shifted.

What stayed the same.

I want to know all of it.

The positive and the negative.

So I can make more videos in the future addressing the concerns and giving you more of what had a beautiful impact.

Okay.

Bye.