How To Drop Self Doubt And Enter A Confident Flow

Yeah,

Losing your senses is not a good feeling,

Let's just say.

So great to have you all here today.

Always curious.

Ah,

Is that with my sessions?

Great,

I'm glad you're curious.

Anyone been coming to my sessions for a while?

Put a yes in the chat if you've been to at least 5 sessions from me,

Let's say.

If you've ever been to 5 sessions from me,

Put a yes in the chat so I know.

Okay,

We've got some yeses.

Yeah,

And I recognize your names.

Awesome.

I see your little pictures and I remember.

Okay,

Awesome,

Awesome.

Great to have you guys here.

And anyone that's just joined,

You've joined at perfect time.

Because this topic today,

I'm talking about dropping self-doubt.

And I called it entering a confident flow.

Self-doubt.

Imagine just saying those two words,

Self and doubt.

What comes up for you?

Just be aware of it.

Self and doubt.

And I spent most of my life in self-doubt actually.

I didn't really know that I was feeling this though.

I just knew I felt uncomfortable with certain situations.

For me it was very much social anxiety,

You know the term,

Those two words.

It's like that was imprinted onto me.

But not just that,

It was things like confidence with work or speaking or relationships.

Always doubting everything.

And it actually started when I was really young.

When I was the ages of let's say,

I can remember as early as the ages of like 4 or 5.

Just not speaking up,

Not mixing with the groups.

And just something was wrong.

Or felt wrong let's just say.

And it was like I experienced some belittling,

Let's call it.

Being belittled a lot.

And that just,

That theme just run through my life afterwards.

It was like I can't really express myself.

I can't really be myself because there's this feeling that something is small about me.

And I deserve to be belittled.

You know that kind of theme ran through.

The identity we keep about ourselves.

We keep an identity.

It's like there's a print that has occurred,

An imprinting.

And psychologists will tell you,

And I went deep into all of this stuff right,

I wanted to know what was going on.

They'll tell you there's an imprinting period in our lives where we have these impressions.

So then we carry that around like carrying this backpack of weight around with us through our lives.

Again like I didn't really know what was going on.

I didn't know the depth of this.

I just knew the outer manifestations of it was I feel uncomfortable.

I can't speak up.

I'm not confident.

I stutter and sweat when people are around.

I used to get that a lot.

You know here's one.

I wouldn't speak in class even when I knew the answer.

Can anyone relate to that one?

I wouldn't.

You know I used to see all these kids like so courageously like I know,

I know.

And they didn't even know the answer.

They just didn't know,

But they were going for it and trying.

But I knew the answer and I didn't put my hand up.

Can anyone relate to that?

Put a yes in the chat.

Are you similar to me?

See all these kids be like so up for it.

I'm like why not me?

I know the answer.

It's so simple.

Bobby over there puts his hand up and says something completely wrong.

And I'm sitting there like,

Like I know.

Come on,

Come on Bobby man.

You can do better than that.

But I wouldn't be courageous enough to speak it up because I still have this thing about even if I know the answer,

Even if I've got this within me,

I don't want to express it because a part of us sits inside which says I can't be me.

I can't fully show people this.

Fear of rejection,

All of that kind of stuff comes up right?

Because we hide away this part of ourself.

It feels like the truth,

The greatest version of us.

It feels like that.

It's not okay to be that right?

Even if we know deep in your,

You know deep in the belly we know there's some potential there.

Does anyone ever feel like there's way more potential inside you that you know is there,

You know there's a power there?

But it's just not coming out.

Put a yes in the chat.

Do you know there's some powerful you inside but it just,

You can't get it out.

And you know all of my life I used to almost think of myself as the potential guy.

Sports.

I was really good at all of the sports.

I never tried out for a team.

I used to always want to try out for a team and never tried out for a team.

I just didn't have the,

You know whatever you want to call this,

Confidence or courage or I just didn't go for it.

Speaking to girls.

When I was growing up for some reason I was connected well with women,

Young women but I just couldn't speak or be myself around them.

I just couldn't.

I didn't,

There was no way for me to get this out.

So I didn't have much of a dating life let's say.

I still dated girls but potential again you know the potential.

With school,

With like grades and yeah I was and this is not,

I'm not trying to brag or anything but I was the smartest kid in class for a few years.

But then I dumbed myself down so I wouldn't be seen.

I played small so I wouldn't be seen.

So I fit into the average you know.

And all of this comes up because there is some doubt.

There's some doubt that it's okay to be me.

There's some doubt that,

It's doubt over shining.

Because the one that shines is slightly different to the average.

Shining is slightly different to average.

You have to stick out you know.

And I think in Australia they call it,

I've forgotten what they call it but tall poppy syndrome I think they call it.

We're scared that if we grow taller and we stand out then something's going to happen to us.

So all this potential gets buried.

So there's doubt over what will happen if I fully be me.

How is this hitting guys?

Put something in the chat.

Is this hitting?

Put a yes in the chat if this is hitting you right now.

For you personally this feels like it's something that you're challenged by.

Okay we've got some yeses.

See I used to think this was just me.

That's why it's great to have these platforms because we can connect and see that it's not just us.

Yeah David,

Andrea,

Laurieann,

Michelle,

Louisa,

Violet,

Anne.

Yeah.

So here's what I'll say to you.

What allowed me to shift?

The first thing is slowing down,

Slowing down.

People say to me all the time like Raj do you always talk like this?

And I say yes because I'm in a slowed down place.

It doesn't mean that I'm not doing stuff and I'm not productive,

I'm just doing things from poise and grace now.

So find ways to slow down.

It's probably why all of you are here I guess.

Things like meditation and all sorts of things that are on here will help you slow down.

I call that the gateway.

It's not going to allow all of this stuff to happen and become fully confident.

Is a gateway.

When you can slow down and become present,

It's not the solution to everything.

And you're probably thinking Raj you're a teacher here.

Are you sure?

It's a gateway.

Presence is not everything.

Presence is very important though.

It allows you to explore.

It's like walking into a house now.

You've got a key to the front door when you can slow down.

That's what I did.

I used my body to slow down.

I used a lot of exercise,

Meditation,

Yoga,

Breath,

All of these tools we have,

Energy to bring the energy into equilibrium.

But to become more confident and enter into a flow like I said,

It requires also some fire inside of you.

You can call slowing down the water.

The fire also has to ignite.

And not a wildfire.

Said to one of my clients the other day,

I said you're like a wildfire.

Your fire is everywhere.

It's just all over the place.

It's going nuts.

I mean a fire which is like focused,

Like a laser.

Some kind of passion in you.

Is anyone here from Latin America or Spain or Latin country,

Italy?

Yes.

Gabi Lin.

Yes.

Fuego.

Pasion.

Yeah,

A bit of that.

I didn't have any of this.

I was a guy stuck in my head for my life.

I didn't know what it meant to have passion.

So find things that open your heart up.

Open up the energy inside you.

Where you feel alive.

In your body.

So you can get out of the head.

So slow down.

And also feel some aliveness.

That's basically the formula for everything in life.

Let's just say.

Very important for any kind of transformation to occur.

So let's talk about the actual thinking now.

The self-doubt.

What is thinking?

It's all based on everything that's happened to us in the past.

These automatic processes.

And you know it's funny.

If you see people having an argument.

It's really their younger self.

Having an argument with someone else's younger self.

The feelings of fear and lack and danger.

It's like the person's mind.

The younger self is having an argument.

It's not who the person really is.

Because next thing you know.

Argument's over and if you let go of it.

If you do.

You're sitting there just watching Netflix and eating some food.

It's disappeared.

So none of this stuff can be real.

None of this self-doubt is permanent.

None of these ideas are permanent.

They're not actually existing.

Apart from in our thinking.

The only thing that's really existing is our existence here.

You go and get some food.

You feel hungry.

You go and do that.

You go to work.

That's you.

If you're watching yourself.

There's no way to see there's this self-doubt on this person.

Because it's not always there.

There's moments that you're laughing.

You're having fun.

So it's just not permanent.

That's the next thing to realize.

None of this is you.

It's just things that are connecting in your brain to memories.

So it feels like it's us.

It feels like we're going through a traumatic feeling.

I used to get fight or flight mode kick in.

If anyone was to say something to me that kind of felt like judgment or criticism.

I'd feel my whole body get on fire.

And I'd feel this crushing feeling inside.

Almost like this flower has shriveled up.

Can anyone relate to that?

Put a yes in the chat.

You know that energy just goes down.

So no wonder there's self-doubt that occurs.

If this is the feeling I have to face.

I don't want to feel that thing again.

Or this crushing energy that makes me feel small and my energy is drained.

So of course we don't want to do things.

I don't want to feel that way again.

So we get accustomed to this.

We get accustomed that this is going to happen if I put myself out there.

If I say this,

This is going to happen.

I don't want to feel that way.

So I'll play small.

It's safer.

It's more comfortable.

It saves me some pain.

This is how we're working.

This is how the mind works.

The mind and the body together.

The routine.

So I'm explaining to you what's actually happening.

But like I said,

You come into presence.

And I said this example to,

I've got a group coaching team,

Let's just say.

I said to them the other day,

I said,

You're feeling miserable.

You're feeling like everything's so bad.

You're saying I am this.

I am a bad person.

I am low.

I am not confident.

I am this.

I am in your head with that.

It's looping,

Looping around.

But then I bring a newborn baby in front of you.

I put a newborn baby in front of you.

What happens?

Put in the chat.

What happens to your state of being?

I put a newborn baby in front of you right now.

What happens to your story?

Peace and love.

Yeah.

Put a newborn baby in front of you.

You'll feel peace and love.

Everything melts.

Yeah,

Exactly.

It's gone.

Imagine you're with this newborn baby and I say to you,

Hey,

Where's your,

Like,

Let's continue talking about this fear and this stuff.

You don't want to talk about that now because you've elevated.

You don't want me to bring down your buzz.

You've moved on now.

So it just shows that these things only exist for as long as we attach to them.

We are able to shift,

Shift,

Shift.

And that's what's helped me to become confident.

To know that none of these things mean anything about me as a person.

They're just things that are occurring.

I have these thoughts of self-doubt.

I have these worries.

If I try and figure that out and analyze that,

Psychoanalyze,

I'm just putting more energy onto it.

What is the solution you're looking for by doing that?

It feels useful.

It feels enjoyable because we're analytical.

We like that.

We like problem solving.

Feels so useful.

But if you just go into these states,

You elevate and shift out of it,

You start becoming used to the fact that you can do that.

You start becoming used to the idea that,

Oh,

Okay,

I don't have to analyze my thoughts.

Ah.

And you spend more time in this newborn baby zone,

Let's call it.

So let's say the scale starts shifting.

More of your time starts moving into this zone.

One of my clients said to me once,

She said,

When we started working together,

She said,

I have these glimmers of moments where I feel free and blissful,

Like in nature or meditating or certain things,

Right?

And she said,

What I want,

What I would love,

I don't know if it's possible,

Raj,

But she's kind of saying it like it was not possible.

What I would love is to be more in that zone and less in the zone of like in my head.

I don't think it's possible,

But yeah,

If you asked me,

Raj,

You said,

What do I want?

And she kind of said it in this like jokey way.

And I said,

Okay,

Great,

Let's do that.

She was like,

What?

What do you mean?

How?

That's not,

How is that possible?

And I said,

It is.

It is if that's what you set yourself to do.

And we started working together and then after about seven months or so,

She said to me one day,

Raj,

You know what?

I just realized I just don't care about things as much as I used to.

I just don't care.

I'm not worrying more as much as like I used to.

She has sleeping problems.

She couldn't sleep.

She even got like some medicine because she couldn't sleep.

She was like,

I need medicine to sleep.

And then at nighttime,

She would be anxious about getting a good sleep in.

Can anyone relate to the sleep stuff actually for a moment?

Let's pause.

Can anyone relate to sleep challenges and then being anxious that you won't sleep?

I had this.

I had this and I used to be like,

Oh my God,

I got work tomorrow.

I got this to do tomorrow.

Like I have to sleep.

If I don't sleep,

It's going to be even worse.

Oh my God.

Freaking out.

Freaking out because if I don't sleep,

Then it's going to be even worse.

I'd sit in bed like and I'd have all this like magic routine of,

Okay,

If I sleep now,

I'll get eight hours.

And then I still have this weird sleep patterns.

Like didn't matter how much I would sleep.

I still didn't feel that rested when I woke up.

Because it's like your body is still moving.

It's still moving.

Your mind is still moving and racing.

And then the dreams have to work.

You know,

The dreams have to sort this out now.

I had that for many years.

So anyway,

This client I was working with,

She says I'm sleeping better and I'm able to speak up more in meetings.

I'm just getting it out.

Like what's the worst that could happen?

And I was like,

We're getting there.

We're getting there.

It's just so beautiful to see that this is possible.

You can be more in that place of not caring,

Not having to think,

Just saying stuff.

What is the worst that could happen?

It's actually the thinking and the planning for the thing that we think might go wrong.

That's where the challenge comes.

It's the fear of the fear almost.

It's not actually the thing that happens.

It's the like preparing and protecting from danger.

That's what causes all the self-doubt.

It's literally a feeling of I'm in danger.

That's what doubt is.

I'm in a possibility of danger occurring.

That's what it was for me.

I was living like this.

I would look over my shoulder constantly if I was at work just in case someone's going to walk near me or just chronic paranoia almost.

Trying to plan every single thing.

If anyone came near,

I would be anxious and just in my head.

It's a terrible place to be.

It scares me.

It scares the hell out of me to ever go like that.

But once you know that there is no danger,

That it's okay to be you,

Then you can be more of you.

You can test it out.

Something I do sometimes with people I'm working with is I give them challenges.

I say,

Oh,

You think this is what will happen?

Ah,

Okay,

Clever you.

How about we test this?

And then they say,

Ah,

What?

Test?

What do you mean test?

You think that something would be challenging,

So how about we test it?

Let's do it.

They might freak out.

They might not enjoy this process.

But then eventually they go and they try something out.

Like I don't know.

I said to one girl,

I said,

You're anxious about speaking to strangers,

So tomorrow I want you to go up to five strangers.

Just walk up to them and just have a conversation.

She freaked out.

She's like,

I can't do that.

That's too much.

But she was excited at the same time.

I could see that.

So eventually she committed.

And then she came back and she said,

Oh my God,

That was so much fun.

It wasn't as bad as I thought.

It's never as bad as we think.

And that's how confidence gets created from proving that what we think in our head is not true.

We prove it wrong.

So actually taking action is a beautiful way to do that.

Sometimes you work in just the inner world.

There's some things to figure out you can do.

Psychotherapists will get so deep into your world and try and do some inside work.

And then the other thing I mentioned is work with your energy,

Your presence.

That is very important.

Your energy and your presence is super important.

Getting into better states.

But then action as well.

Testing.

Testing it out in the field.

Confidence gets built so easily when you start doing things that feel uncomfortable.

Confidence gets created when we have evidence.

I could not drive a car for a long time because I freaked out about it.

I passed my test but I just avoided driving a car.

Can anyone relate about driving anxiety?

Put a yes in the chat.

I used to freak out.

I was like,

Let me find out the public transport method instead.

Even if it was difficult to do that.

I didn't want to drive anywhere.

I avoided places that required driving.

And I thought this is a problem with me.

I'm just an anxious person.

I'm just,

Yeah,

The story,

I can't drive.

I get too anxious about driving.

We'll put ourselves into these boxes that are not true.

I can't speak.

I can't do this.

No,

No,

I can't do that.

I'm not that type of person.

I have a personality type.

I took a personality test.

I met a psychologist.

We did all these tests and then we found out that I'm this type of person.

Like there are certain traits.

There are certain traits we have that are different to others.

I believe in that.

Different in like balances of energy.

But you can build confidence.

You drive the car and then look,

I could eventually,

I became comfortable with it.

I can drive very easily now even if I was exhausted.

So it turns out it's not true.

Confidence can be built.

Courage is required.

Courage helps you to move past what you think is true.

Courage doesn't come from the mind.

Courage is not like amping yourself up.

Oh yes,

I'm going to do this.

Like it can be that.

But it's not from the mind.

Courage comes from somewhere deep within.

When you take some courage,

Then you build confidence with it.

So that's all I want to say for now guys.

You have a choice in each moment of what you do with what you're thinking,

Is saying,

What your body is saying.

You have a choice.

You can decide what to do with that.

And that's why I mentioned it requires you slowing down a bit.

Slowing down enough to realize you have a choice.

Slowing down enough to realize you have a choice.

And then connecting to something other than your head.

And then there's the shift that can occur.

You can take an action which goes against everything your head says.

Then you build confidence.

There's some things I do that I've never done before.

It doesn't matter how meditated I am.

I'm going to feel a bit of anxiety.

But nowadays I don't let that stop me instead.

Don't let it stop me.

I feel it.

It's an occurrence but it doesn't stop me.

Doesn't matter how meditated I am.

How deep I get into the spiritual process.

It's just a natural thing that occurs.

We feel some resistance from doing things that are new.

It's okay.

It's good.

It means that you're doing something which is expanding you.

Good.

You don't have to get rid of that feeling.

You just have to know how to navigate it.

So what's coming up for you guys?

What has been your biggest insight from listening to me?

Put in the chat what is your biggest takeaway.

If you've been here for 40 minutes of your precious time,

There's probably a reason.

What is your biggest takeaway?

Put in the chat what your insight,

What clicked for you,

What are you going to take away from this?

What hit you deep?

Share with everyone in the chat.

Because then it means you've declared it.

You've shared to declare.

Put it in the chat.

As soon as you press enter you're like,

Oh my god,

Did I just type that?

Whoa,

Is that real?

Do I really believe that?

That's so good.

That's the whole fun of sharing to declaring.

Confidence can be built exactly.

In everyone,

Everyone's built confidence.

Some people have had things that have knocked confidence more than others or things that have happened when you're younger that have created,

Like made it more difficult to feel that.

That's true for me as well.

But it doesn't mean that you're fixed in that way.

Edging past comfort zone creates layers of confidence.

Yes.

Stan,

Good one Stan.

Edging past exactly.

You don't have to go all the way in the deep end.

Like with the driving thing,

If I said,

If I'd never driven before and I said I'm going to go on the scariest road in the world,

That doesn't serve me.

Maybe I don't know,

Maybe some people like that.

For me,

I don't know,

I wouldn't do that.

So getting out of the comfort zone enough that it's uncomfortable but not so much that it's overwhelming.

That's a big lesson and that's the way I'm supporting people I'm coaching.

Sometimes I'll take them far,

But we realize that's not actually far.

That's just still them being in the discomfort zone.

So you've got to get a feel for what this is.

Courage love,

Practice and gratitude.

Self confidence conquers fears.

Yes,

Lin.

What else?

It's okay to be sensitive and vulnerable.

Yeah,

I'm very sensitive.

I'm highly sensitive.

When people even name this thing,

They call it highly sensitive people.

But I don't want that to be a brand that you brand yourself as.

And you say,

Oh,

I'm highly sensitive,

So I can't do this.

No,

No,

No,

No,

No,

No,

I'm highly sensitive.

No.

Hey,

Everyone,

Everyone,

I'm highly sensitive.

So yeah,

I don't do that.

Please,

Because that can create another limitation.

You can know that you're sensitive.

That's fine,

But not as a way to create limitation.

All right.

Slow down to really start living.

Exactly.

When you slow down.

You know,

I just listen to birds sometimes and it just all this thinking slows down.

Sometimes the thinking is just going too fast.

That's all.

It doesn't mean you have a problem.

It doesn't mean you are a problem.

You are a problem.

It's just that this thing is going fast.

Hey,

Hey.

Yeah,

I need to slow down.

Oh,

Oh,

There wasn't a problem.

Okay.

Slow down enough to know what to do with the situations.

Not getting emotionally entangled in them.

It's like if that wheel was spinning and you're in the middle of it and you're like a rolling tire.

It's like you become that thing.

Instead step out of it,

Look at it spinning.

Oh,

It's spinning very fast.

Okay,

Let's put something on it so it slows down.

Okay,

Great.

It slowed down.

Instead of hey,

I am this thing.

That doesn't make any sense.

You can't be the thinking process.

And I say this with a lot of passion because it took me a long time to realize that myself.

So if you can slow down,

Step out of it and then make your moves,

That's confidence.

Confidence is not this big bravado,

This act.

Confidence is just being calm and focused with some fire in you.

That's it.

Nothing holding you back.

It's just being soundless.

And I'm not like this every second of the day,

Just to be clear.

But I can remind myself of it when I lose track.

I can remind myself.

Ah,

Okay,

Yeah,

I know what's going on.

Okay,

I'm drained.

Ah,

I need to recharge,

Okay,

Great.

Ah,

I'm thinking a lot.

Okay,

Let me slow down.

That's it,

It's just,

That's it.

It doesn't mean there's anything wrong with me.

It's just this is what's occurring.

Ah,

Let me,

Let's work with that.

And again,

It took me a long time to get to that place.

But I'm not saying it requires a long time.

It just requires the realization of it.

The self-management almost,

You can call it.

Okay,

What else have we got in the comments?

Yeah,

If you can't sleep,

It's okay.

Exactly.

Like,

As soon as you let go of the fact that you can't force yourself to sleep,

You end up sleeping.

It just happens.

As soon as you give up,

You're like,

Ah,

Well,

I'm gonna feel,

I'm gonna feel tired tomorrow.

This thing of trying to make myself sleep is not working,

So I might as well give up.

And then next second you're snoring.

That's how it works.

Okay,

What else?

Any questions,

Guys?

Put questions in the chat.

That's what we'll do for the last portion of this.

Put questions in the chat.

Any questions about your personal challenges that you're having,

Put them in the chat and I can support you right now,

Just as I would do with a client that I'm working with.

Put it in the chat.

What are your challenges?

What do you want to move past?

And it's interesting,

And you can message me privately about this as well.

It's interesting,

I get messages sometimes saying,

I've been following your stuff for a while,

Raj.

I didn't think it was okay to message,

Or not I didn't think it was okay,

But I resisted messaging you for a while.

And people ask me questions and they tell me what challenges they're going through.

And then I'll send them some stuff,

Or I'll maybe send a voice note,

And then they've moved forward.

They've seen a shift.

So I encourage you to reach out to me if you wish,

To move forward with whatever challenges you're having.

Some people have said to me,

I've had this challenge for 10 years.

And I'm like,

Whoa,

It's a long time to put up with something,

To tolerate something.

You don't have to.

You only believe that that's how it is,

And there's no way out.

You believe that.

You're so attached to believing that.

Well,

If you're willing to explore outside of that,

You're going to get that transformation that you think is not possible.

So feel free to reach out to me.

And let's just say,

If I didn't think any of this was possible,

I wouldn't be saying it,

Because I definitely thought it was not possible for me at first,

All this stuff.

I'm not saying I'm a finished article,

I'm an amazing man,

And look up to me.

I'm not saying any of that.

I'm just saying I've been on a journey,

And things have changed for me massively.

I can't even imagine having a business where I get to help people with this,

After going through my own transformation.

So anything is possible.

And by the way,

There are so many phases I went through.

I went through this phase where I was really big and overweight as well,

Because I thought that would give me the solutions.

And even with that,

I was able to move past that.

I've realized that anything we have challenges with,

We can move past.

So that's my invitation.

Reach out,

It's your opportunity to move past whatever challenges you have.

In a few months time,

I'm going to be hosting,

I don't know if I told you guys about this before,

But I hosted a group,

A private,

Intimate group coaching experience.

Not on here,

Separately.

If anyone wants to be part of the next one,

In a few months time,

I haven't got a date planned yet,

But in a few months time,

Then you can reach out to me about that as well.

Very powerful.

I just got all this feedback from the group recently and they said they didn't realize that so many people feel this way.

There was tears,

There were laughs,

There were all sorts of things going on in those sessions.

And now I'm still in contact with them,

Still sending them stuff,

And it's beautiful.

So if anyone wants to talk about that,

Then reach out to me as well.

And I'm on Instagram,

Making videos every day,

I just grab my phone and I just start talking about stuff like this.

So if you want 10 second little shots of inspiration,

Then find me on IG and check me out there.

I've got a bunch of resources there as well that you can look at.

Book recommendations,

A hundred of them.

I've got all sorts of stuff.

So it's my invitation to reach out,

If you wish to.

Alright let me start looking at the questions now.

That is what we'll end with.

And we'll end with a slightly,

Well what was I going to say?

Oh we'll end with a short practice I was going to say.

So questions,

Let me read the questions that you guys have.

Okay.

Susie says I've been rejected for job after job and I'm drained.

How do I step away from the anxiety and feelings of worthlessness that it gives?

Does you being rejected mean that you'll be rejected again?

That's the first question.

Do they correlate to each other?

And the next thing I'll say is about where you mentioned how do I step away from the anxiety and feeling of worthlessness that it gives.

You know here's the thing Susie.

Here's what I want to tell you straight up.

If tomorrow you got a job offer from the job that you really wanted,

You can't even believe you got this job offer.

It's amazing.

Then how would you feel about this worthlessness?

Put in the chat.

If you got this job offer,

Where would your worthlessness go?

That's my um.

.

.

And someone else said just below,

Remember the universe might be protecting you for a better job.

Exactly that right?

It could be something is coming,

Something amazing is coming.

So instead it doesn't mean that there's worthlessness.

It just means that you know it's almost like you go to a casino.

Could just be you haven't won yet.

And that's it.

It doesn't mean that you're bad at casino.

It's just you're just not there yet.

So here's the two things I'd say.

Number one is be with where you are because something might be coming.

It doesn't mean anything about you.

Number two is that there could be something you can do.

Could you change your approach to finding jobs?

Could you change the way you're applying to them?

The writing you put onto that?

The way you're presenting who you are,

Your experience.

Is this something you're not showing fully?

Could you shine even brighter in your application process?

Could you step into more of your power when you're applying to these jobs?

Could you go for jobs that you don't even think you can get?

That's what I'd usually do with someone.

I'd say let's play with all of this thing that you're doing.

Let's go bigger and then let's check out how you're working with this.

That's not judgment from how you're doing it.

It's just looking at the reality.

If all that's okay then that's it.

That's all you can do now.

You let go.

You let go.

Basically how I work with people is I work with the power of all of the chakras.

This is one way I work with people.

I'm not saying I'm a chakra guy.

I don't like to be put into boxes.

But it's one of the tools I like to use.

Seventh chakra is about surrender.

Letting go.

Nothing you can do.

Just play with that surrender.

But then there's also chakra of power,

Confidence,

Stepping into that fire.

Fully playing big.

Fully playing big and then surrendering.

Ah,

Those two combined.

Beautiful.

Nothing more you can do.

So that's all I'd say about this job stuff,

Susie.

Do what you can with what you have.

Let's just say.

Let's end it at that.

The rest is all imaginary.

So feel free to reach out,

Susie.

And we can talk about how your job is going and your game plan for all of this stuff if you wish.

But otherwise you're good.

Alright,

Any other questions?

Let me just have a quick look.

There's no other questions,

I don't think.

Let me have a quick look.

Yeah going up to strangers.

Go for it guys.

Try it.

Doesn't make sense socially,

Right?

But go for it.

Just try it.

See what happens.

Five strangers.

Alright,

What else?

There are several you said.

Okay,

Where are they?

Let me have a look.

I see comments.

I don't see many question marks.

So let me read through some of them.

Yeah so Ross,

I just said walking up to some strangers and just having a conversation.

And you can play however you want to play with this.

You can just even ask them for the time and make some comments.

Just to try it.

Just to play.

Play the game.

Play the game.

I tell a lot of my clients,

You know I'm very playful.

I'm all about games.

Because games are fun.

It takes some of the edge off all of this stuff.

You might work with someone who's getting all serious and mapping you out and diagnosing you.

But what if this whole thing was approached with more fun?

This whole personal development stuff.

What if it didn't have to be all about suffering?

I'm not saying there's not going to be that part of it.

There will.

I had some of that.

But if you look at all this stuff from that frame of empowerment,

Ownership,

Leading your life.

It's way more beautiful than looking at yourself as a broken person.

I did that for sure.

So if you do that,

It's fine.

But I'm just telling you,

There's a different way you can do it.

Much more enriching experience.

And you might not experience that with other people.

You might not.

You might be pulled into a snowball of this is all terrible.

Well,

If you're working with a practitioner and that's how you're getting dragged into more entanglement,

Then I don't see the point of that.

I don't even know what that practitioner is doing.

How they can do that.

Doesn't make sense.

So,

I can't see any other questions,

Guys.

Someone said there's a few,

But I don't see them.

So if someone wants to type their question again.

There's one from Dana.

Okay,

I've seen one.

All right.

The frustration of.

Wait,

Where's it gone?

So Dana says the frustration of knowing the unhelpful rumination attachment to fear and yet still wanting to feel safe and cared for,

But struggling to attain and maintain that.

We still want to feel safe and cared for,

Of course.

We have this thing within us which wants to ground.

Wants to feel grounded,

Right?

So I'm not fully clear on what you'd like her suggestion on,

Dana.

Give me a direct question,

Just so I'm clear.

You mentioned you're knowing this unhelpful stuff,

Attachments,

Wanting to feel safe,

Struggling to maintain that.

What is it you want?

What exactly do you want?

Then I can answer that perhaps.

Then it's not like a random suggestion that I give.

Antia says how do you find me on IG?

So just look up my name on Google,

Raj Gorsea,

Or just go on IG and just type in Raj Gorsea.

That would be me,

Basically.

So yeah,

Anyone that wants to connect,

Find me there.

I have some interesting conversations with people sometimes.

And they say things like I haven't been able to talk to anyone about this before.

So yeah,

If there's anything I can send you that can help,

Then yeah,

Feel free to reach out and I'll see if I can.

Alright guys,

I think we're done.

Oh,

Nancy says how do I stop ruminating negative thoughts about my husband?

Ah,

Hmm.

Yeah,

Interesting one.

How do you stop ruminating?

I think the question should be in reverse.

What is it you want instead?

Because if it's like,

Hey,

I want to stop doing this,

The focus is on the stop.

Stop ruminating negative thoughts.

The focus is all on that.

There are some things you can do to slow down,

Like I said.

But what is it you really,

Really want underneath the stop?

Often it's something like I want to feel like I,

I don't know,

This is just an example by the way,

I don't know you,

I haven't spoken to you,

But often it's like I want to feel comfortable with my husband or I want to feel like I can trust him.

Okay so you've said to think of my husband in a positive light but he constantly annoys me.

Yeah.

What do you love about him?

If you were to never see him again,

What would you say about him?

That's where I want to take you.

That's as direct as I'm going to be right now.

What do you love about him?

What makes you feel nice inside despite his annoying things?

How can you connect more with him?

Because when we're in our heads,

It's like me here,

This person is there,

Problem,

And then I'm stressed,

I'm not getting my needs met.

How can you connect more?

So it's like this,

It's like these things are together.

How can you encourage him to connect with you?

How can you take the lead and connect?

That's what I'd suggest.

Okay,

What else?

I think we're going to close off soon guys.

Oh the five strangers things,

Ross.

Go up to five strangers.

If you don't feel confident about talking to people,

Go up to five strangers.

I assigned this to one of my clients and she said she wouldn't do it,

She ended up doing it,

And she said it was fun.

So go up to five strangers and just talk to them.

Strike up a conversation,

However you want to do it.

Go for it.

If anyone does this,

I want to hear from you.

I want to hear if you've done this and how your experience was.

Because I'm sure it would be fun to hear.

Alright guys,

We're going to do a short practice to end five minutes of just being with everything that's occurred.

So we're not rushing off into the distance and oh I've got to do this,

Let me rush it.

Let this absorb.

So close your eyes,

Comfortable space.

Move your neck around.

See if there's anything tense in your neck or shoulders.

Just give it a little wiggle and massage.

Let out a little sigh.

No one can hear you,

You can only hear me,

So have a fun sigh.

Let's go for two more of those sighs.

Breathe in fully and then breathe out and sigh.

One more.

Breathe in,

Breathe out and sigh.

Let out everything that you're holding onto into the ground.

And just listen to your breath.

Listen to your soul.

That inner guidance.

That knows what to do.

It knows who you are.

Find that voice.

Just stay here in this space.

Not having to do anything but just be.

AWables lighting you.

Your',

Being.

You being you you slowly open your eyes that's all guys feeling good enjoy your day anyone wants to talk to me about the program and running intensive transformational program and reach out and for now enjoy your day I appreciate the donation by the way something I'm gonna tell people now is all donations anyone makes for me I'm gonna start giving to good causes so I haven't encouraged anyone to donate in the past I've run like 60 sessions every week sometimes twice a week haven't talked about donating sometimes people do it nice I'm gonna start talking about it more because I wanna build up pots that I can just you know you guys have given this to me this one of my clients she's doing some amazing things in Africa I want to be able to just say hey look I've gathered this yeah I can give it out of my own money as well of course I will do that but gathering that through these sessions and saying I've done these sessions and I that can contribute to building some schools in Africa or you know that's what we're gonna help her do schools in Africa or things in Ukraine at the moment something in India whatever so I'm gonna encourage you guys from now onwards to donate start donating and what I probably do is I'll probably make a separate site about this and probably be easier but start donating here if you wish it's not pressure it's not like hey you're a bad person if you don't if you feel called to something tells you to then go for it and I'll just start collecting that and putting it into a pot somewhere so yeah I'm gonna start mentioning that more I guess it just means the impact I'm making I can you know just have different types of impact let's just say so I'll leave it as that guys loving you have an awesome day reach out if you wish have fun and we will speak soon see you later