Healing Meditation For Self-Criticism

Welcome,

I'm so grateful you're taking this time for yourself today.

Having self-critical thoughts on a daily basis is very common,

And many of us turn to things like pleasure distractions such as food and watching TV,

As well as wellness behaviors like meditation,

Exercise,

And repeating positive affirmations to move away from this type of thinking.

But what if getting away from these thoughts is the opposite of what we need sometimes?

Sure,

Many of the negative thoughts we have hold no value for our lives.

But what if some do?

What if some thoughts are like inner messages?

What if the thoughts that seem so dark and negative are not inherently bad,

But rather a part of you in pain,

Desperately reaching out for help?

What if these parts of you that you reject actually need you?

Your listening,

Your understanding and acceptance,

Your love.

Imagine a child is standing in front of you,

Crying in total distress.

Would you shame them and try to get rid of them?

Or might you say something kind and bring them into your arms to console them?

One day I walked into the bathroom and caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror.

Immediately the thought,

You're so ugly,

Popped up in my mind.

But instead of falling into old habits of believing this thought,

Judging it,

And trying to get away from it,

I turned toward myself with compassion.

I said,

Oh my sweetheart,

You must be in a lot of pain to have a thought like this.

What's the matter?

What do you need?

I'm here for you.

And this moment changed my life.

Although it's not always easy,

Now when I notice those critical thoughts arising,

I know there is part of me in distress who needs me,

My listening,

My kindness,

My love.

So let's explore this together.

I invite you to find a comfortable seated position,

Take a full deep breath in,

Exhale through the mouth with a sigh,

Inhale deeply,

Feel the belly and chest expanding,

Exhale through the mouth.

One more full deep breath like this,

Feel your shoulders relaxing down,

Your belly softens with this natural flow of the breath,

Allow a slight space between your teeth,

Feel your lips and your face starting to soften,

Sense your body becoming heavier,

Like the weight of the day of life is melting away with each breath.

This is a space where you can be just as you are.

Become aware of different sensations in your body,

Practice noticing them without labeling them as good or bad,

Pleasant or unpleasant,

Feel what's happening inside.

Now become aware of your mind.

Are there self-critical or judgmental thoughts present?

Maybe there is a familiar thought,

One you have had over and over.

It might sound like,

You're not good enough,

You're a failure,

No one wants you.

Allow these thoughts to come to the surface rather than rejecting them.

Now let's consider that,

Simply put,

A mind that thinks negatively is a mind in pain.

And if your mind is in pain,

There is part of you inside that is hurting.

Choose one of these thoughts to focus on,

Can you feel there is some kind of pain behind this thought?

It could be anger,

Fear,

Sadness,

Loneliness.

If you can,

Hold your heart with a sense of kindness,

The way you would hold a puppy or a baby.

Breathe deeply into your chest,

Into your heart.

Can you sense the part of you behind this negative thought,

Who is in pain?

Maybe it's a very young part of you,

4 or 5 years old.

Maybe it's a teenage part of you,

Or an adult.

See them in your mind's eye.

Or if you don't see them,

Sense this part of you.

Maybe you notice specific colors,

Shapes,

Feelings inside,

While still holding your heart in a loving way.

Say to this part of you,

Oh my dearest,

And you may wish to say your name,

You must be in pain to be having such judgmental thoughts.

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way,

This must be so painful for you.

Now ask this question and listen with an open mind and an open heart.

What's the matter?

This part of you may be expressing in words,

In feelings,

And right now your only job is to stay present,

Nothing to fix,

No one to reject.

Let this part of you know that you're really here,

You're here for them.

And now ask this part of you,

What do you need?

And again,

Listen with an open mind,

Open your heart to be present.

Allow whatever is coming to the surface to be here.

There may be tears,

There may be other uncomfortable emotions,

Let it all move through you.

Emotions are energy in motion.

Continue to be here for yourself in this compassionate way,

Allowing yourself to be just as you are in this moment.

Say to this part of you,

I'm here,

I know I wasn't here in the past,

I know I left you,

But I'm here now,

I'm here.

Pour your love onto this part of you now.

Surround this part of you in an ocean of love,

An ocean of acceptance.

Welcome this part of you into your heart,

You may even wish to imagine that there's a special room in your heart where all of the things this part of you loves are there to comfort them.

Welcome them into your heart.

They may not wish to come yet,

And that's perfectly okay.

Give this part of you permission to be as they are,

There's no need to rush.

Full deep breath in,

Exhale through the mouth with a sigh,

Inhale deeply,

Exhale completely.

If you can,

Slowly massage some gentle circles over your heart center.

Slow aware movements,

Really feel this connection with yourself.

Offer yourself gratitude,

All parts of you that participated in today's experience.

Slowly begin to move the body in any way that feels nourishing.

Take as much time as you need,

And when you're ready,

Open the eyes.

What are you aware of inside?

How does it feel to meet yourself with compassion,

Especially a part of you that you may normally reject?

Meditation.

I invite you to return to this meditation for the next 21 days straight to help develop this new way of being in yourself.

Not only will this strengthen your emotional intelligence and self-awareness,

But it will also assist with stress relief,

Anxiety and depression relief,

And an overall feeling of well-being.

Many of the self-critical thoughts we think are habitual,

So we must train a new habit to help us move away from the old.

Return to this as often as you wish.

And you can also do this briefly throughout your day.

If you notice a self-judgmental thought arising,

Place your hand on your heart and go through a brief version of this meditation in your mind.

Tune in with yourself and speak to the part of you having this critical thought.

Oh my dearest,

Or you may even wish to say my sweetheart,

Or my love,

You must be in a lot of pain to be thinking this way.

What's the matter?

What do you need?

I am here for you.

Thank you for joining me for this very intimate journey.

All my love.