Welcome to this practice which is called self-compassion break and gives you a chance to tend to any difficult emotion,
Any kind of pain that you might be feeling right now.
This practice is part of the Mindful Self-Compassion program developed by Chris Germer and Kristin Neff.
And my name is Dr.
Kristin Brehle and I'm a certified MSc teacher and teacher trainer.
And I welcome you just to be with whatever you're feeling that might be tricky or if you actually want to use this practice to strengthen your muscle of self-compassion,
You can recall a situation earlier today or last week and that was causing mild to moderate distress in you and that could maybe do with some more tending to.
So when you're ready,
Find a super comfortable position,
Lying down,
Sitting up in whichever way feels good for your body and for your heart right now.
And then firstly I invite you to feel the contact of your body with the chair,
The sofa,
The floor and to feel that unconditional support of the earth beneath you.
Maybe letting go of any effort to do anything in particular and simply trusting that you're being held and supported.
And if you like,
Take three deep and hopefully relaxing breaths.
And then maybe you are already in the midst of a tricky situation that's evoking difficult feelings for you.
Then begin by noticing those tricky emotions in your body right now,
See where they show up and how they show up and if you want to strengthen that muscle then please recall a situation that occurred recently where there's maybe still some lingering uneasiness or some other difficult emotions that show up as you scan your body,
Your inner world.
And that's when you realize that you're already in the midst of a tricky situation.
We tend to get caught up in stories or recalling events.
So see if you can focus your attention now as much as possible on your body and see where that distress shows up the most.
Turn towards it with an open mind as much as possible.
And then in the first step take a moment to acknowledge that you are suffering right now.
Maybe by saying something like,
Ouch this hurts.
Yes this is really difficult,
This is really stressful right now.
No matter how big or small the suffering simply acknowledging that this is a moment of suffering.
And if it's okay making space for those difficult emotions to show themselves in your body to allow them to be there because they're already there,
They're already calling for your loving attention.
And if you can offer yourself some genuine understanding.
Why would it make sense that you would feel this way?
Surely it does make sense doesn't it?
And let yourself know I get you completely.
And in the second step I invite you to see if your body would appreciate some touch that would be soothing or supportive or calming or strengthening.
Maybe see what it might feel like to place a hand on the middle of your chest region.
Maybe it's also a hand on the belly or one hand on the heart and one hand on the belly or maybe it's you giving yourself a hug.
So just take some time to experiment with a touch that lets your body know that you're here,
Allows your body to feel a little more relaxed.
And if you're feeling your breath beneath your hand,
Maybe taking a moment to let yourself be gently rocked by your breath,
By its natural rhythm.
And just come up and down,
In and out.
Maybe imagining that this warmth and the tenderness of your hand is kind of seeping into your body and into your heart.
It's conveying a real natural kindness that we need when we feel bad.
And in a third step I invite you to maybe think of one other person who you may know personally or who you may know of and who has experienced something like you're experiencing right now or have recently experienced and who may therefore genuinely get how you're feeling.
And if someone comes to mind,
Just see if you can feel a sense of,
You know,
The sense of,
You know,
The feeling of your body and the sense of your body.
And if someone comes to mind,
Just see if you can feel a sense of connection,
A sense of common humanity.
Hey,
We're in this together.
Like me too.
And maybe if other people come to mind many more than maybe getting a sense of,
Hey,
I may feel like I'm alone in this,
But in fact,
Other people,
These are the people have experienced something similar.
They get how I am feeling right now.
Or maybe something even wider like,
Hey,
We all as human beings,
We all go through difficult times.
We're all maybe different in how we suffer,
How we experience it.
But,
You know,
Suffering is a part of life.
And life is imperfect in that sense.
And just see very lightly if any of this evokes a sense of connectedness with others.
And if no sense of connectedness arises,
Then just let it go for now.
And I invite you to try out a fourth step,
Which is to offer yourself kindness because you are feeling bad right now.
And it's the only thing that makes sense.
So maybe starting by repeating inwardly that wish,
Just a wish.
May I be kind to myself.
May I be kind to myself in the midst of this.
May I be kind to myself.
As kind as I can be just now.
And see if there are any words that you would love to hear right now that would genuinely support you to make the situation maybe not go away,
But to make it more bearable,
To make it lighter.
What would those words be?
Maybe they're also gestures like a hug or actions.
What are these?
What would genuinely support you in this situation?
And then see if you can offer yourself some of those words,
Some of those gestures or imagine receiving them from a kind friend.
Or imagine doing those actions or getting the support you need.
And if there are any parts in you that are struggling with this idea of getting support that might feel disappointed from experiences in the past,
Please ask them to just relax for now so that you can hear what you actually would need in such a situation.
And if you like,
You can also switch perspective and imagine what you would say or what you would do for a dear friend who is experiencing the same situation.
A dear friend who is experiencing the same situation,
The same difficulty as you are right now.
Someone who is dear to you,
What would you say to them?
What would you do to support them?
And if you notice any helpful emotions,
Intentions,
Actions,
Words,
Gestures flow from your heart to this person,
Then see if you can redirect them to yourself.
At least some of it.
And let them land in your heart,
In your mind,
In your body.
And then to finish up,
I invite you to simply check in with how you're feeling right now.
Allow yourself to be exactly as you are.
Allow your experience to be exactly as it is.
Maybe there was something particularly helpful in what we just did,
So,
You know,
Maybe just one thing so you can maybe take a note of that and come back to it when this difficult emotion shows up again,
Or maybe it's still lingering.
And next time a tricky emotion shows up,
Just remember to acknowledge and say,
Ouch,
This hurts.
I totally get you.
And I may feel like I'm completely alone,
But in fact,
We all go through difficult times.
And therefore,
May I be kind to myself.
Maybe evoke this compassion presence within you that can say things like,
I'm sorry for you.
I'm sorry that you're feeling this way.
I'm here for you.
I'm here for you.
