Hi and welcome to your practice.
The following meditation is an exploration of nervous system regulation and of trauma integration,
Deeply inspired by the teachings of Dr.
Stephen Porges and Dr.
Peter Levine and their discoveries around somatic experiencing and polyvagal theory and practice.
We are here right now together to return disconnected parts of ourselves back into wholeness,
Into togetherness.
And as with any conversation that touches on our personal experiences of pain and trauma,
Since we are meeting remotely,
Please practice at your own discretion.
Please know that if you start feeling overwhelmed,
Beyond your edge,
You can always pause,
Take a sip of water,
Shake your body,
Walk around a little bit,
Take a deeper breath and return to the space whenever you feel ready.
And if you don't feel ready,
That's also okay.
When we think about trauma,
We don't necessarily have to know what happened.
All we need to know is who we became as a result of what happened.
How before that trauma,
Perhaps we were not overwhelmed by our feelings.
How before,
Maybe we knew our boundaries,
Our sense of self,
All that we need to know rather than what happened is that trauma disconnects us from ourself,
From the environment and often from the body.
In dissociation,
We vacate our bodies.
And so to heal trauma,
We must learn to safely come back into our physicality,
Into our bodies by experiencing them as a safe space for our feelings.
So let's begin simply by noticing your breath.
Not changing the breath,
But just noticing that you are breathing.
And as you notice that you are breathing,
Also reflect for a moment,
When I notice my breath,
What happens for you in that space?
Breath in relation to being noticed often becomes slower and deeper.
So perhaps you could reflect when I notice my breath,
I feel at ease,
I feel more present.
Or maybe when I notice my breath,
I begin to feel uncomfortable,
I want to run away.
What is here for you?
And just being with your breath,
Noticing,
Not needing for it anything to be otherwise.
In general,
Longer exhale brings more nervous system regulation,
So we will focus on that for now.
For the next few cycles of breath,
Place your emphasis on the exhale.
And this is much easier done breathing in through the nose and exhaling through the mouth.
And if you wish,
If it helps to stay more present,
You could count.
So maybe inhaling for 1,
2,
3,
4,
And a longer exhale for 1,
2,
3,
4.
Stay with this and let your body find that possibility of safety,
Of regulation,
Of ease as you place your emphasis on the exhale.
And then notice to yourself,
When I focus on my exhale,
What happens?
What happens when you do that?
Is there anchoring,
Grounding,
Safety,
Something else?
And being here in this space,
Knowing that there is really no expectation,
Simply exploring our biology,
The wirings of our nervous systems,
The imprints of our personal history.
So as you sit here and breathe,
Keep focusing on the exhale.
And keep noticing what happens as you do that,
Knowing there's no right or wrong way to do this.
And that the journey to regulation and trauma integration looks completely different to all of us.
All you're doing is welcoming ease and safety back into your body.
Take one more big breath in through the nose.
Exhale through the mouth.
And if you feel stretch or move a body a little bit,
Shake out your head,
Shake out your hands.
Sometimes a little bit of movement is helpful as we move from practice to practice.
If you feel strong feelings arise,
Open your eyes and look around your room.
Take a look into all four corners of your space,
The two corners in front of where you're seated,
The corners behind you.
Notice that there is no threat.
There is no tiger lurking.
There is no person about to surprise you.
You are safe in your space.
And thus,
You're safe in the space of your body.
So we will close this practice with polyvagal sighing,
Which,
In the theory developed by Dr.
Stephen Porges,
Is seen as the most powerful interruption to the state of our biology.
There is something that shifts us back into regulation,
And yet,
We very often judge it.
So for a moment,
Notice your own relationship to sighing.
What do you feel when you see people sigh in front of you?
When you hear their,
Ah,
While you're talking to them about something?
What beliefs do you hold about it?
How often do you hear yourself involuntarily make sighing sounds?
And what if it truly is a momentary interruption to the state of your biology intended to shift where you're at?
So notice first,
What would it be like to just let yourself sigh?
Ah.
What kind of sound would it be?
How does it feel to make it?
Ah.
If you're home alone,
If you can be loud and audible,
Do it.
If you're taking this meditation somewhere public,
Do it under your breath,
But let the sound manifest and express.
And then let's take a journey with the sighing through the different states of our nervous system.
So first,
A despair.
How would you sigh if you were to sigh right now with despair?
Notice how often the despaired sigh is almost silent,
Like we don't quite have the capacity to even make a sound.
We're collapsing.
Becoming invisible.
And from here,
What would it be like to sigh with frustration?
That kind of sigh of a sympathetic charge in your system.
The heat building up,
The fire building up.
Do it a few times.
And then a relief.
A sigh of relief.
Let that flow through your system too.
How does that feel to sigh with relief?
And finally,
A sigh of true contentment.
You're here in your body,
In safety.
What kind of sound comes out for you right now?
Staying with your eyes closed for a moment longer,
Just notice how all of this feels.
And what it stares for you and what it awakens.
And then take a really big breath in through the nose.
And let out any sound that wants to come out.
Notice the powerful presence of your throat,
That channel that connects your inner world with the outer world.
Gives your most inner landscapes an expression through sound.
Maybe it would feel good to stay here for a little longer and play with it.
Give yourself a permission to make whatever sound wants to be made.
And as we close this practice,
I invite you to keep coming back both to the Pala Vagal exhale emphasis breath as well as to sighing.
The more you cultivate both in your everyday life,
The more you lean on them,
The more they truly return you back into regulation.
What at first may feel unfamiliar or strange,
Very soon becomes an incredible tool with which to engage and on which to lean when we truly need help.
Please know that the journey of integrating trauma and of regulating stress and anxiety is one that requires not only patience and time but also showing up.
I invite you to come back to this resource and to use it on a daily or however often basis so that you can keep reminding yourself that it is safe to be in your body and it is safe to be you and it is safe to be in this beautiful world.
You are not what happened to you,
You are what you do with everything that happened as you take this journey of transmuting it back into health,
Fatality and love.
Bring the palms to the heart,
Gently bow the head down as we honor each other on this journey.
Thank you for sharing your practice with me.
Namaste.
