This is a shortened adaptation of the Giving and Receiving Compassion Meditation by Kristin Neff,
The pioneer of mindful self-compassion,
Who says,
Self-compassion involves acting the same way toward yourself that you would to a good friend when you're having a difficult time,
Veil,
Or notice something you don't like about yourself.
I invite you to get into a mindful body posture that feels most comfortable for you.
Perhaps sitting relaxed and alert,
Or upright,
Not uptight.
Allowing any tension in the body to be released if possible,
Or allowing what remains to just be as it is.
No need to be any particular way.
All of you is welcome.
If it feels comfortable,
You can close your eyes or you can direct a soft gaze to a fixed point.
Putting one or both hands on the heart,
Or in another nurturing gesture can release oxytocin,
The bonding hormone.
Knowing that in mindfulness,
We want to do what we feel fully resourced to do.
You get to choose if it feels right to just dip a toe into the practice,
Dive in completely,
Or anything else.
Bringing your awareness to the breath,
Nurturing yourself with each inhale,
And giving yourself whatever you need in this moment.
With each inhale,
Breathing in any quality you wish to encompass.
Maybe compassion,
Support,
Connection,
Clarity,
Worthiness,
Acceptance,
Et cetera.
What is it you most need right now?
Can you allow yourself to receive it?
As you're ready,
Releasing attention of the inhale and switching attention to the exhale.
As you breathe out,
Bring to mind someone you care about who could use your compassion right now.
With this person in mind,
Directing your exhale to this other person.
What might they need in this moment?
Maybe support or comfort or hope.
With each exhale,
Sending something good to this other person.
Now bringing together attention of both the inhale and the exhale.
Acknowledging that both of you suffer,
That suffering is part of our shared common humanity.
Breathing in something good for yourself,
While breathing out something good for the other person.
Perhaps breathing in compassion for yourself and breathing out compassion for the other person.
Perhaps breathing in healing for yourself and breathing out healing for the other person.
Choosing whatever words feel right for you in this moment.
One for me,
One for you.
In for me,
Out for you.
If at any point you feel yourself struggling or feel like you could use a little more attention or support,
Feel free to focus more on yourself.
Perhaps two for me,
One for you.
Or three for me,
One for you.
And allowing yourself to fully receive.
Or if you're feeling fully resourced,
Feeling like your cup is full right now and you have more to offer the other,
Perhaps one for me,
Two for you.
Or maybe returning your breath as an equal flow with equal attention on your inhale for yourself and your exhale for another.
Maybe peace for me,
Peace for you.
Clarity for me,
Clarity for you.
Choosing whatever qualities and words feel right for you.
Allowing yourself to fully receive.
You can hold your own suffering fully and then also the suffering of another.
What body sensations,
Emotions,
And thoughts are you experiencing?
To transition out of this practice,
Bring your attention to the sensation of breathing.
And take a moment to acknowledge yourself for honoring yourself with self-care.
As Kristin Neff says,
By changing the way we relate to our own imperfection and pain,
We can actually change our experience of living.
