Letting Go Of Tension & Resistance

I've really been wrestling with some issues around accepting how people actually are.

And this is just the hardest thing.

The trauma and the emotional pain and the beliefs that we form from our childhood experiences in particular,

But also what happens as we move throughout our life.

And the truth is,

We all have things that hold us back.

And a lot of that is stored in our body.

I thought maybe we could do a practice of letting that go.

Freeing up some space inside.

Sometimes we're really stuck in a place where we can't really face something.

I know for me,

I was in a state of freeze for decades.

And I can see that now,

And at the time I certainly couldn't see it.

And we tend to put up barriers and defenses if there's something that we can't see.

But we all have these,

And then we're all in relationship with people who have their own.

And that can make it very difficult.

What is it that's kind of obvious in your body that you could go to right away?

And often just by relaxing one or two places in our body,

Our whole body will have more of an experience of relaxation.

And notice what it feels like as well to breathe.

If you were to take some deeper breaths.

If you can,

If it feels comfortable,

That can give us an encouraging amount of new oxygen.

We really don't often get enough oxygen to operate fully if we're breathing in kind of a shallow way especially.

And as you're finishing your exhalation,

Just really let your exhalation go for a moment to let go of some of that stale air that's in the lungs.

Let it continue for a moment.

And then deep inhale.

And long exhale.

And then let your body breathe however it wants to breathe.

Come back into more of a witnessing of your breath and your body.

As you're noticing your breath,

Notice if there's any hesitation.

Often there's a hesitation or a pause or we're even holding our breath at the end of the inhale or at the end of the exhale.

So for a moment as we're working with just tuning into the breath,

Notice the continuity of your breath as well.

Notice how the body will automatically do that turnaround or that transition for us.

We don't have to decide.

And notice if you have a long pause or if you're holding your breath at the end of the exhale.

And notice as well as you come to the top of the inhale,

Is there just a release of the breath or is there a holding back a little bit?

Is there a pause or a holding there?

And one of the ways that we can release what's not working for us,

Emotional,

Physical,

Energetic body,

Is to really freely let go into the out breath.

Just as we have the in breath in,

Then to let go.

No hesitation at all.

Like you're a kid jumping into a lake in the summer or something.

It's just that letting go.

There's no holding back.

It's time to let go and we just let go.

And then the air leaves our lungs.

It's stale anyway.

It's not doing us any good.

And that makes room for the new in breath.

Take in an abundant amount of air.

And then letting it go joyfully,

Fully letting it go.

And as you let go of the out breath,

Notice how you can soften through your body as well.

We don't really need any muscle tension.

And yet there it is.

It's stored in our body.

It's habituated into our body.

And one of the real deep benefits of regular practice of relaxation is that that releases.

And we have a little less and a little less and a little less.

But our baseline is not this tight fisted,

Tight shoulder,

Tight gut.

Our baseline becomes much softer.

Our body actually has a chance to circulate blood through the muscles because they're not so tight.

We have a deeper breath so we have more oxygen.

Noticing what that feels like.

Deep breath in,

No holding back as we let go of the breath.

And letting our body soften.

Letting go of our defenses.

This is all in the unconscious mind and body.

So it doesn't really work just to say I'm letting go of my defenses.

As we're coordinating that with actually physically letting our body soften,

Going into the out breath without any hesitation.

That's what signals our nervous system that it's okay.

It's okay to let go.

And when we're doing this letting go,

Our body is softening,

Our breath is becoming more full,

More continuous.

And we're signaling to our nervous system that we're safe.

That we don't need our defenses anymore.

Our nervous system and our primitive brain,

It takes a while for that message to really be received and accepted.

And that's okay.

That's good that we're a little cautious about that.

And we can't do one relaxation practice and then from ever on our body is soft and relaxed and we're breathing deeply.

That's not how it works.

And that's okay.

We have a lot of evidence that we need to protect ourselves.

And then we have experiences as we're doing relaxation and other things too in our life as well.

That we don't need to.

That we could let our guard down,

We could let go.

And it's the experience of over and over again.

It's okay to soften my body a bit.

It's okay to let my breath go.

I know that I'll have another one.

In two or three or four seconds I can breathe in again.

And the process of relaxing our body,

Our breath,

Our mind is enjoyable.

In some ways it doesn't really matter that it takes a while to deepen.

It feels good to be present.

To let our body breathe.

Let our muscles relax.

Bring your attention into your whole body and notice if there's anything in particular that needs attention.

It could be a tightness,

An area of pain,

Some kind of an energy or sensation.

Maybe there's more of an overall awareness of your body,

Your breath.

And the way that our system works to alert us,

A lot of the pain and energy we feel in our body is because of a defense,

Defensive pose,

A defense mechanism.

Something was overwhelming and we kind of stored it.

We put it away and covered it over because that was what the best thing was at the time.

And now we might be feeling some kind of energy or sensation or pain even in the body.

And notice if you could connect with that directly.

You might use the words like,

Thank you,

I appreciate you,

I'm glad that you're here.

Or it might be something more like a sympathetic kind of a connection.

You don't have to go away.

It's okay for you to be here.

I know that what's going on in my body is a history,

So to speak,

Of my life.

And it's okay.

It's okay for you to be here.

And to sense into how that might soften just with your attention.

We do that all the time with pinching our teeth,

Pain in our back,

Tight shoulders,

Even softening the forehead.

It's a kind,

Connected process of bringing your attention there.

And sometimes we get frustrated or angry with our bodies that they do this,

And that's natural too.

And then when we do a practice like this,

We could give that more space,

More room.

It's okay for you to be just as you are.

No matter where it is that the sensation is or the pain is in your body or an energy that you're working with,

Notice that there's space around it.

Some energy kind of fills up our whole body and others is very specific to an area.

If you have something going on in your stomach,

For instance,

Notice if it comes up into your chest,

Into your head.

Does it go into your arms and legs?

Or is it more specifically located in the stomach area?

So notice the space around it.

The space around it might be the space around your whole body,

Or it might be the space around a certain location in your body,

But notice the space.

And then as you're noticing the space and the sensation or whatever it is that you're working with,

Notice if there's any kind of malevolent intention,

Especially if something is painful or tight.

Is it here to make you miserable?

Is it here to hurt you?

And just look and sense into that.

Often we associate pain with some kind of bad intentions,

And that's not how it is in the body.

So just look to see,

Is there a feeling that your body is out to get you?

This sensation wants you to suffer.

And if there is,

There would be some kind of thoughts that go with that.

You could do some tapping on them,

Work with them as thoughts for a moment.

And if it's not,

If it's really clear,

This is not here to hurt me,

Then see if you could really move in closer,

Invite that energy or sensation to be here as long as it wants to be here.

And maybe it needs to be seen.

Maybe there's some part of you that needs to be held,

Attended to.

And then let that release.

We're not pushing it out,

And we're not holding onto it.

It's okay for it to be here.

It's okay for it to go.

It's okay for it to come back if it needs to.

This is our internal experience,

Our internal energies,

What's stored in our body.

And if we didn't have to protect ourselves from that,

We could experience that it's okay for it to be here,

And it's okay for it to go.

And we can come back to that anytime we want.

We can notice when we're getting kind of hard,

Hard-hearted or hard in our body.

We could come back to the breath,

Working with this on an energetic level.

And this is,

We're coming to the end of the practice.

Let's come back to the body and the breath.

And as you're breathing out,

Joyfully letting go of the out breath.

And at the same time,

We might be letting go of the resistance to what's here,

Letting go of wanting it to be gone.

Could be that going on too.

Just to really focus on the breath for a moment.

Several breaths of inhale deeply,

And then opening it up into the exhale.

No holding on,

Just letting it go.

Notice your body.

Notice if there are spots in your body that would benefit from some softening.

You could bring your attention there,

Let them soften.

And as we breathe in,

We could let ourselves be nourished by the in breath.

And breathing out,

We can let go.