The Inner Power Series - Session 3 - Grounding In The Heart

Okay.

So the whole theme for these these four sessions was inner power.

And this word gets thrown around a lot you know about find this inner power and some people are like what what do you mean?

What is that?

If I knew what it was of course I would find it.

It's a very vague term.

It gets passed around.

But I think it comprises of different things.

So I've chosen four parts.

I'm not saying this is the the perfect endless formula.

You know you can create your own.

But the first part was on inner calm,

Inner awareness.

Slowing down.

Slowing down so you're able to see more clearly.

Because you how can you find this inner power or peace or anything really if you're not in a state of calm?

Doesn't work.

In that mode of slowing down and observing and being.

So the first session was all about working on that.

Because I think that's the the key.

I see it as the pillar the first pillar before anything else can happen.

Slowing down.

The second session we talked about inner fire.

So tapping into the spark of life.

The strength.

This fire that's coming through you that makes you want to do exciting things and feel alive.

Something that's keeping you going.

We need that.

Otherwise how would we do anything?

We need a combination of these two.

We need a combination of these two worlds.

Because otherwise if you're all fire and no calm,

It's just frantic.

A lot of people I'm working with often they come to me because they're very fiery,

They've got a lot of passion but they can't like slow down.

They can't go into the being mode and just listen to themselves,

Listen to their wisdom.

And they get burnt out or there's just so many ideas and they don't know what to do with it.

Or there's so much passion and fire that all these emotions start stirring up.

And anger and so much passion that it's just it's like a fire that's out of control.

A fire that's spread everywhere and it's out of control.

If there's too much calm then there's no spark to move you forward.

You can end up in this lull of life where you're just watching,

You're just present.

Yeah it could be very peaceful but you will miss out on this other feeling of I want to feel alive,

I want to feel fired up and do things.

So it's a combination of these two.

Today if you think of those two as ingredients,

Today I'm talking about grounding.

Grounding.

Because if we want to do anything in life and we have these these emotions and thoughts firing off everywhere and it just feels like we're not centered,

It doesn't matter if you've got these energies because the moment you start to attempt to take off and do things,

Imagine a plane trying to take off,

It's like there's a thousand tons of steel weighing that plane down.

It doesn't take off.

So when I say grounding I mean grounding into being okay within yourself.

Okayness.

These words people use to describe this a lot.

It could be self-love,

Self-esteem,

It could be working with the ego.

You guys tell me actually what kind of words come to mind.

Put some words in the chat.

What kind of words come to mind when I talk about grounding and self-esteem,

Self-love,

What other things come up for you that might relate to what I've talked about?

Okay.

Rich says,

Integration,

Yeah great word,

That's awesome.

Integration,

Yes.

Peace,

Calm,

Acceptance,

Stability,

Kindness towards oneself and self-acceptance,

Solid foundation,

Feeling sure,

Yeah,

Solid foundation is a good one,

Centered,

Yes.

Not letting external energy move you off balance,

Yes.

Authenticity,

Embodied,

Mmm.

I love the different language people use.

You know we have our own language that resonates with us.

I think you're getting what I'm saying.

Your language,

You know,

That's great.

Safe,

Someone said as well.

Whatever language works for you,

This is this is it,

Yeah.

You all,

You've all said the exact thing I'm talking about.

Rooted,

Yeah,

Rooted is a great one.

Yeah,

Because really it's like you think of a tree.

The tree has to have strong roots,

Has to be grounded,

Has to be centered there and it's taking in all the nutrients,

All the things around it and then it starts growing.

And that's what part 4 is going to be about.

Part 4 is going to be about the upper part,

The the growth part,

The creating part.

So that's what we're going to end with next week if you want to come.

But this grounding is very important because there's so many people,

Including me from the past,

And I'll tell you a bit more about me in a moment,

But so many of us have ideas or you know,

We tap into this authenticity,

Tap into this truth of ourselves,

But then here comes this massive I imagine it like an American football player barging that down,

Destroying that.

As soon as it peeps out,

You know,

It's trying to run across the field in the first 10 yards and there we go,

American football player knocks it down.

It's gone.

It has no chance of getting anywhere because the mind is powerful.

It's barging it down.

So what do you do about this?

This is session 3 because having the awareness that I talked about first,

The awareness to slow down,

That has to be there.

That has to be there.

You can't be in frantic mode because when you're in frantic mode you're in a state of stress,

Right?

You're in a state of stress.

Final flight responses can be much more difficult.

Teeth.

And I guess that's why a lot of you are here and that's why I love this community because you're opening this app for a reason.

It's not like just random scrolling on social media.

I'm sure a lot of you are practicing that slowing down part.

But then the other part you need as well which is having power and some strength inside.

But the other part which I might not have talked about as much yet is tapping into the heart.

The heart is where you combine these two forces.

Oh,

Am I back?

Let's have a look.

Okay,

Great.

So the heart is the requirement for you to be able to ground because that is where the center is.

If you think about it,

The energy we have in our body,

We have a left and a right side.

That's moving around constantly,

Right?

In different ways.

And you can even talk about how the brain is split up into left and right.

Like that's the brain.

You can even talk about how the brain is split up into left and right.

Lungs,

The heart,

Oxygen,

Carbon dioxide.

The central point is here.

And I didn't understand this for a long time,

If I was honest.

I thought heart means,

Oh yeah,

I go and run and I do exercise and my heart rate goes up.

That's all I thought the heart meant for actually a very,

Very long time.

I think most of my life.

And actually just to segue into a bit of my challenges and stories,

Why am I here and doing this stuff?

Because I was challenged by feeling any form of inner power.

I didn't feel like I had any inner power.

I had a lot of anxiety.

Another label I put on it was social anxiety because being around anyone would make me feel inadequate.

Like really,

Really inadequate to a point where I would avoid situations with people.

And I didn't have any confidence either.

I should just avoid anything that involved being measured or feeling like I could be judged.

Anything that felt dangerous as an attack against me,

Even though it wasn't.

Even if someone was just asking me a question about myself.

Just a normal question,

I would just get completely flustered and feel like I'm being judged.

Can anyone relate to that?

I'd love to just hear a if anyone can just put a yes.

So I was completely disconnected from heart.

I only knew thinking.

I only knew thinking.

So I used to try and think my way through these things and think what is wrong with me.

Thinking is related to emotion.

So let's just call it thinking and emotion is the mind.

So in the world of living in the mind,

It's like being in this program.

These beliefs of what life is.

I am a person who couldn't do this or that.

I am a person who cannot talk to people.

I am a person who is not confident.

You know,

All these little programs built up inside of us.

Whatever else it might be for you as well.

I am not good enough.

That's a massive one.

And I don't even think I knew that this was going on.

I just knew the external like the effect rather than what was going on on the inside.

So I avoided the effect,

Right?

Dodged it.

I became like a ninja avoiding anything that felt dangerous.

But after I got into this part of working on myself and slowing down,

Practicing a lot of yoga and meditation,

I started getting more in touch with my body and the energy going through my body.

And I was like,

Oh this feels this feels nice.

If any of you guys are new to meditation or yoga,

You're probably relating like this this feeling of I'm actually calm in this moment.

Hmm,

This feels so foreign but I like it.

And then you go back to your life and you're like frantic again.

That's how it was for me for a long time.

So I was frantic.

After I do learn meditation I was okay and then I become frantic again,

You know.

Stuck,

Same old cycles.

Because I realized like doing those things is great but if not if you're not really going to the depths of yourself and figuring out what's not grounding you,

It's just a cycle of endless,

You know,

The same old cycle occurs.

The same old.

So that's what I was stuck in for a long time.

I would do yoga,

I would exercise,

I would eat well.

I would be like I'm doing everything.

Why am I still stuck in all of this?

I got angry,

You know,

At life and the research out there.

I was like,

Why is it not working?

So I decided to become obsessed with,

That's the only way I can describe it,

Become obsessed with knowing the truth,

Experimenting.

So I tried all sorts of meditations,

Every type of yoga,

Every type of breath practice,

Hundreds of books,

Researching constantly.

Like my night times would be me in front of a screen like this,

Looking in every forum I could find and saying okay let me try that,

Let me try that.

I didn't want to give up on myself,

You know.

But it was only after a while that I realized that I started unlocking energy through my body,

Right?

And I realized there was these blocks between me not trusting the world or myself,

Me feeling rejected and hurt by people.

I didn't even know about this,

You know,

Because I didn't have like abuse or I wasn't like,

You know,

I thought to myself I haven't had it bad like all of these stories out there.

So how can I say that there's something I need to work on deep down?

But I think all of us do.

There's something that has happened in our younger days which have created our projections of what life is.

For me it was like a few memories when I was really young and I remember being told things like why are you different?

What's wrong with you?

And it was like innocent things,

Right?

It was innocent the way it was said.

But that stuff hits a child.

And those kind of things cause the impressions.

So I had to go back to those memories and those those beliefs and figure out,

Wow,

Like yeah there was something here.

I didn't have a perfect life.

So raising those levels of consciousness that I talked about earlier,

Raising the awareness,

Slowing down,

You're able to know these things.

You're able to know but then knowing is not enough either.

Knowing is not enough either.

Loads of people know that this happened to me,

This is what happened.

You know you go to a therapist and they'll help you figure that stuff out.

But you're still stuck in the mind there.

Knowing is the mind.

Knowledge is the mind.

So I got deeper and deeper into meditation and spiritual practice let's call it.

Eventually after a lot of trial and error and wanting to know the truth of life and existence through all sorts of religions and everything I could find,

I realized that I didn't feel anything here.

I had rejected this actually.

I'd rejected love in itself.

And that's where we have to go.

So the ways to do this that I think are most powerful,

I want to come to the comments in a sec.

The ways I think to do this that are most powerful,

Firstly to get present and feel grateful for what you have.

I did that for a long time.

Gratitude,

Something that's popular right now.

Gratitude,

That starts feeling warm in your heart.

As soon as you say things are bad,

Horrible,

My life,

And you find something that's actually good,

It starts destroying the the pain that you're feeling.

So that's a way to start connecting to it if you're just starting to get into this stuff.

But then compassion was the next part of it.

Compassion for myself and for everyone.

I don't think self-love is enough and there's a big thing about self-love,

There's self-love that.

I think it's important but you can't get past your your blocks if it's just self-love because the whole purpose of this whole thing is to go beyond the self.

So it doesn't work like that.

The whole purpose of this whole thing is to detach from your idea of what self means.

That's why all of these challenges exist because it's this emotional bondage to your former self,

Your child self,

And you believing you are still this self.

So you have to get to a different place.

I did definitely start with self-love with remembering parts of myself when I was younger and this is something I encourage a lot of people to do when I'm working with them personally.

It's about connecting to the younger self that was you,

Finding the spark,

The playful child that was there,

Finding the playful child.

Because ultimately this is the path for you to feel fully open in your heart.

So I had to go back to some memories,

Painful ones,

In a meditative state,

Not in a rational state where you're still connected to emotions and thoughts.

I had to get in a slow,

Calmer state because then I could look at this stuff differently.

That's why sometimes therapy alone doesn't work because you're still in there,

You're still there,

You're looking at yourself but you're still believing that you're that self.

It doesn't work.

It's too heady to get to a place to feel free.

You have to get out of the head and into the body and the spirit because then you can take a look at yourself as if you were not that self anymore,

Stepping out of it,

Detaching.

And this isn't,

I'm not trying to make this sound complicated by the way.

This is something everyone can do.

Slow down and you start thinking about your younger self.

Let's try it right now for a few moments.

Slow down,

Start slowing down your out breath.

Close your eyes if you wish.

You may want to hold your heart if you wish or you can whatever,

Whatever works for you that allows you to connect to yourself.

So start slowing down your breath and start feeling grateful for something you have right now.

Feel it in your heart.

How does it feel to have this thing?

Locate the center of your chest.

Just put your awareness there and feel gratitude.

And now think back to yourself when you were five years old.

What did you love to do?

Just see it in your head.

Five year old you.

See yourself playing,

Smiling.

See that golden glow that you have.

Watching yourself.

And now imagine you can walk over to yourself and say hello.

Give yourself a hug.

What is something that you can tell your younger self?

Something they always needed to hear.

Something they might have doubted about themself.

Send all of your love to them.

Feel them receiving your love,

Smiling,

More peaceful,

More alive.

Maybe some sadness comes up.

That's okay.

Maybe something else comes up.

That energizes you.

If it doesn't,

If it does,

It doesn't matter.

Just be with yourself.

Embrace yourself.

Feel the love.

And take some deeper breaths now.

Deep breaths.

And we're slowly going to start to come back.

Notice how you feel.

Become aware of how you're feeling.

When you're ready,

Open your eyes.

Let me know how that went.

Something you can do every day.

Because you become your own nurturing voice then.

You don't need to wait for someone to say everything's going to be okay.

You become your own nurturing voice.

You tap back and connect to that self that was you.

And it's like this lightness comes.

All this tension that you're holding onto.

Feel warmth through my entire core,

Say it's rich.

Not really nurturing,

Softness.

Also some awareness into what's still holding me back.

You start knowing what is actually holding me back underneath the surface.

Not this surface level stuff that we think is going on.

And hey I need to do this and that and this and that.

Slow down and you'll realize what you have to do.

It's funny because I used to just think that love was something that people talked about in movies.

Like a me to you love.

But it's not.

It's something you have all the time.

And this is the key ingredient to everything.

And people use different words for this actually.

People sometimes will say your inner power.

But to me your inner power is a combination of these forces.

It's a combination of these forces you have,

These modalities you have.

Some people will say your intuition,

Which is another word I use a lot as well.

But your intuition needs to be powered by something as well.

So the heart is the center.

And as soon as that hit for me,

I was like in tears multiple times for weeks and months actually.

I had these like sequences of meditations and practices.

Even when I was doing yoga sometimes I would just burst into tears.

Because it was like this was opening for the first time in my life.

So a lot of stuff was coming out.

And it has the power to process everything.

It has the power to empower you.

That's what it does.

It's an amplifier.

It's like the best kept secret.

As soon as I realized I was like oh my god I've been doing all these things.

But this is what I had to do.

I wish someone would have told me that.

But I think it was a build up of experiences that I had that almost brought me in to finally.

So now I've just kept on coming back to this.

This,

The heart helps you to create things and it helps you to slow down and feel ok and ground in things.

Because it's like all the energy builds here and then it gets distributed throughout your body.

That's why it's the center right?

Makes sense doesn't it?

And once you charge it up,

It's like,

And it's really funny because I started noticing in all the superhero movies.

You know Iron Man,

He has this circular thing here.

And it's his power source.

They put it there.

And Superman and I started realizing whoa,

No wonder.

No wonder it's there.

Because this is where everything is powered by.

So to ground,

To ground and feel ok within yourself,

You don't have to go and do all these hundred different popular things that are out there.

I keep it simple.

I keep it much more simple.

I'm not saying it's easy,

I'm saying it's simpler than all of these hundred things out there these days.

Because often,

Often these things out there are just attempts or like branches of a tree.

I like to go to the trunk instead.

Because like I said,

I tried everything.

I was everywhere.

And nothing was changing for me.

But if you can ground into your,

This you inside yourself and start nurturing yourself,

Re-parenting almost,

Unlearning everything,

Re-establishing that self that was there all along.

Like nothing's been,

Nothing's lost.

And nothing has to,

You don't have to go and find or get to some place.

For me it's more about peeling the onion,

Peeling the layers around you,

The mental like beliefs of what you have to do.

And then coming back to that core.

Then it's like once you have this okayness within yourself.

It took me,

I was on like a path for a few months,

A year actually just in like constant panic and I mean when I was in the depths of discovering all this stuff.

At least a year of just pain.

Trying to understand what was going on.

But it's like after I came out on the other side,

I'm not saying I'm complete by the way.

I'm not saying I'm an enlightened being or I've got to this place and I'm done.

But I know that I went through this massive process and I came out into a different space completely.

Which I'll continue to work on.

I'll continue to do things and work on myself.

But yeah that's why I wanted to share this because I know that I would have found it useful I'm sure.

So to summarize,

Before I go into questions and things like that.

To summarize,

To feel okay in yourself.

Oh there's another thing I haven't mentioned enough yet actually.

First is this connection to yourself,

This child,

This part that has always been there.

The heart,

The core of you.

First that's very important.

But you have to be able to be like that with everyone and anyone.

That's what really helped me.

Parents.

People that I felt did wrong to me.

People that might have bullied me at school.

Even little things like that.

Strangers.

And a practice I still do to this day is every single day I have a compassion practice where I'm in me and then I expand it to people like family,

Sending them wishes and love and success and all of that kind of stuff.

Really truly feeling it.

Really truly feeling how nice it would be for them to be in that place.

And then doing that with people I've seen,

The strangers or people I'm working with.

I'm sending people I'm working with as clients all these signals and all this energy as well.

And sometimes I'll be in like,

It's really funny,

Sometimes I'll be in,

When I was going to the gym a few months ago I'll be in the gym and I'll start sending strangers like these compassionate vibes.

And then I'll think of like random countries.

That's why I always ask people for countries when we have this call.

I'll start thinking of countries and imagining what the people look like in that country and sending them compassion as well.

So my heart is just blowing up by that point.

The mind cannot live in that environment because you're so full.

You're so full.

The mind's gone at that point.

You're just in bliss,

You know.

So if you practice this every day for like 5 or 10 minutes,

It starts just building up.

And it's really funny because the other day I was in the gym,

Right,

So let me tell you an example.

It gets,

It becomes such autopilot that the other day I was in the gym and one guy was like to me,

Hey,

I don't know this guy by the way,

He was like to me,

Hey are you using this bar,

This barbell,

This weight basically,

And I said no.

And he said do you mind if I put this over there?

And I was in that space basically so he was trying to block my space,

Let's just say.

And I was like wait,

What are you doing?

That's in my way.

And then he said to me,

He said to me sorry,

It's my first day at the gym,

I don't know where things go.

And I felt crushed.

I felt like so bad.

I was like oh man,

I just gave this guy hard time for no reason.

It's the poor guy's first day in the gym.

So this is what starts happening once you practice this compassion stuff,

It becomes autopilot.

You just feel things for everyone and anyone.

And from that place you're out of yourself.

You're out of this self and the self is the mind.

You're out of this self containment of me versus you.

I have to compare myself to you.

That's a whole other topic as well,

You know,

This whole topic of comparing me versus someone else.

I used to do that a lot.

I used to compare myself to anyone.

Hate myself and hate them as well.

I'd be jealous and you know,

I'd be jealous,

I'd be like why can't I do that.

I'd try to think of excuses of why they're doing good and you know,

Yeah they're doing good but this.

I'd have these little,

These mental digs to try and make myself feel better.

And speaking to people I'd try and undermine them.

I'd be one of those people who you know,

You're talking to about your life and I'd be trying to pick holes at it.

Because that was my own self,

Lack of self esteem right.

I see it a lot actually now.

Now I see it in a lot of people and I just see it as pain that they're living with.

Because that's what I was doing.

I was living with pain so I have to prove myself all the time.

Just autopilot of that.

It's an automatic thing.

So it's not your fault if you're doing this.

It wasn't my fault I was doing this.

So I can't hate anyone that does this anymore.

I can't.

I see the depths,

I see what's happening behind the scenes now.

I see insecurities,

I see all of this pain so I can't be mad at anyone.

So that's how it shows up sometimes you know.

You see a friend who's being annoying towards you,

Imagine you have this compassionate view.

It doesn't affect you anymore then.

There's stuff that's going on.

They're going through something.

It's not about you.

If you're taking it personally then that means you've got something going on within you.

So you've got to check that out.

You can't blame people.

You can't blame anyone for doing stuff and you can't blame yourself either.

You just have to look at what's happening.

What's the reality of this?

So yeah that's me.

I'm going to leave it as that.

I'm going to stop the recording but I want to take some questions.