Turn Anxiety Into Curiosity- Fuel Your Self With Love

Yeah,

You can be in your bed if it's nighttime or early morning and that's where you are,

That's where you find yourself.

You can be sitting on your couch,

In a chair,

On the floor,

Really no rules whatsoever.

Just wherever you are is perfect.

So once you arrive into that position,

Start to check in with your posture and with where your shoulders are in relationship to your hips.

And sometimes,

Like for me I have scoliosis,

So sometimes naturally if I don't catch myself one shoulder is a lot higher than the other or I'm kind of leaning off to one side when I feel like I'm sitting straight and I'm really not,

So just kind of seeing what your body's like.

Good morning Lisa.

And sometimes we also will be like leaning back slightly or leaning forward and that's fine if that's where you are,

If you're leaning in a chair or something.

But if you are sitting upright without any support on your back,

See if you can close the eyes and check in and just feel your shoulders stacking over your hips.

And another way to see this is by feeling your head be aligned over your heart and that's aligned over your hips.

So when you get into that position,

Wherever you are,

And if you're in a space where you feel safe to do so,

You can allow your eyes to gently close at any point that you feel comfortable to do so.

And you can mark your arrival with a big cleansing breath if that feels good for you.

So inhaling slowly,

Deeply,

Intentionally through your nose,

Feeling that natural filter of the nostrils,

Feeling your body fill up as much as it can right now,

Noticing how much that is.

And then pausing for a moment and slightly starting to exhale through the nose once again,

Slowly letting that breath go.

So we're starting today just intentionally slowing down the breath.

And let's do that a few more times.

And if you are someone where it is somewhat triggering for you to focus on the breath,

Then focus on the pulsing in the palms of your hands or in your forehead instead.

But if the breath is fine for you to focus on,

Then envisioning almost like your nose is a straw and you're sipping the air in just like you would through a straw,

Feeling that slowly begin to expand like you're pouring water into a glass,

Like slowly filling up the glass of your body with this air.

And then pausing when you are full,

Exploring what it's like to be full and finding that stillness in the in between and then slowly letting that go through the nose.

Like you're pushing it through a straw so it comes out slowly.

And then even once you think you're empty of air,

See if you can push out just a tiny bit more,

Really pulling the navel in toward the spine.

And then pausing for a moment when you're empty and just noticing what that's like.

You can do that at your own pace.

You can do that a few more times if you enjoy these intentional,

Slow,

Deep breaths.

But if you are feeling ready to release that part of the practice,

Then you can do so at any time.

Noticing how your body is physically responding to this practice so far,

Just a few minutes in,

But noticing any observations that you can make with the quality of your thoughts,

The quality of the physical tension or lack of tension in the body.

And if you find that your thoughts are rather loud this morning,

Or if you're finding if you're having trouble focusing on anything particular,

Or just listening to my words,

Start to not fight that distractive voice in your head.

So maybe there's a voice saying,

This is a waste of time,

Or maybe I have so much to get done right now,

Or what even is this practice,

Whatever the thoughts are,

Or maybe planning,

Like making lists for your day or your next days or thinking about anything that happened before this moment,

The list goes on.

If your mind is speaking to you,

Instead of trying to fight that voice and kind of be combative and fight,

Push it down or away,

Try instead to build a sense of curiosity toward that voice,

A loving sense of curiosity.

What is your inner voice or inner voices trying to tell you right now?

And maybe it's relevant.

Maybe it's completely not relevant.

So just starting to listen to what's actually going on what the thoughts in your mind actually are.

The practice of meditation is not about ridding your mind of all thoughts and being in this complete stillness.

It can get to that point.

But the daily practice is about taking inventory of your mind of your thoughts of your body.

Of what is present inside of you.

It's kind of like cleaning out the photos on your phone or the files on your computer.

Sometimes we can go years without looking at the photos and just taking pictures,

Taking pictures,

Taking pictures.

And then when you scroll through,

There's just a million pointless pictures in there.

So it's the same process.

Sometimes there's a million pointless thoughts that just become automatic and we just fall into and we don't fully realize it until we become curious and non judgmental about those thoughts.

What often stops me from listening to those thoughts is a voice inside of me saying I shouldn't be having those thoughts and that resistance and unwillingness to accept what's actually happening.

And the more we push things away,

The more we push things down inside of ourselves.

If something comes up and we're like,

No,

No,

No,

Don't want to don't want to do that.

The more it will echo and the more control it will end up having over us kind of like a puppeteer with the strings.

But we're totally unaware that these thoughts are affecting us in that way.

So it is starting to become curious about the thoughts about your mind and as you do so,

Noticing how your body is responding,

Your forehead might be scrunched right now,

Your shoulders might be hunched up,

Your jaw might be tight,

Your fingers might be tight and just remind all of these areas in the body that they are safe to soften.

There is no danger around you.

If you're in a space where you are listening to this,

I assume there's no danger,

Immediate danger around you.

So just reminding your muscles of that.

Tuning into the muscles in your forehead and in your eyebrows and just letting them know it is safe to let go.

There is no action required of your forehead and eyebrow muscles at this moment.

They don't need to hold any expression.

They don't need to hold anything up.

Just allowing those muscles to start to ungrip from the bones.

Allowing your jaw to hang into place.

Noticing how that will start to release the rest of the muscles up your face and your cheeks,

In the ears,

In the hairline,

In the scalp.

And even the tiny muscles that are along your lash line,

Those squinting muscles,

You can even feel those start to soften.

That the corners of your eyes get just a tiny bit wider simply by the release of those muscles.

The same goes for the corners of your mouth.

Feeling your lips fully relax and releasing the need to hold any expression in your mouth.

I like to let all that softness envelop your entire head,

Your whole skull,

The scalp,

The face.

And just allow that to sink down,

Down the neck,

Across the shoulders,

Across the shoulder blades and across the collarbones.

So you feel some broadness across the collarbones,

A sense of pride in your heart center,

In your chest.

So that your shoulders start to widen and separate,

Giving your heart the maximum amount of space to beat and to be.

Feeling that space opening up for your lungs as well.

So that there's just a tiny bit more space for your lungs to be breathing,

Tiny bit more space for your heart to be beating.

Knowing that every centimeter or even small,

Every millimeter counts.

And letting all that softness continue to spread down the arms,

Fully relaxing the arms and the hands.

And that you allow the weight of your arms and hands to continue to loosen your shoulders and increase the space between your shoulders and your ears.

So that the back of your neck becomes a little bit longer.

The crown of your head reaching away from your seat a little bit deeper or higher.

You can soften all the muscles in your stomach,

Giving your organs a little bit more space to relax,

To be.

Let all of that softness just keep sinking down,

Coming to the lower stomach,

The lower back,

The hips,

The glutes,

Your pelvic floor,

The upper thighs,

The knees,

Shins and calves.

The feet and the toes.

You feel this first general wave of softness across the entire body.

Noticing the shape that your body's in,

Maybe even seeing the outline of your body in your mind's eye.

Seeing where your skin meets your clothes,

Where your skin meets the air.

Starting to bring awareness to that first barrier in your body to the outside world,

The largest organ in your body,

The skin.

Begin to feel each pore on your skin breathing itself.

Each pore gently opening with the inhales and closing with the exhales.

This full body breath.

Then start to see a layer of light that is the perfect shape of your body,

Surrounding your body on every side,

In every nook and cranny.

And then as your body is gently breathing,

You start to notice that this little layer of light just begins to seep into the pores of your skin naturally.

Your pores in your body calling in or welcoming in this light.

Starts to seep into the skin and under the skin into the muscles,

Into the organs,

Into the bones,

The bloodstream,

Your cells.

Coming into the origin of your bloodstream,

I guess,

Into your heart.

And just start to bring or call all of your awareness into your heart center.

And as you listen closely to your heart,

Feeling that connection between your heart and your ears,

Just remembering that you have the ability to hear your own personal rhythm.

The beat almost that's always playing in the background of your life.

Your heart that has been with you since the beginning through everything has witnessed your pain and suffering,

Has witnessed all of your love and joy and pleasure,

Connections.

Just taking this moment to really listen to see if there's anything that your heart in particular would like to communicate to you.

This might be a really obvious message just by inquiring.

Is there anything you'd like to say to me heart?

Framing that to your own heart,

To your own body.

You can also journal about this now or later,

But just becoming curious of that question and not searching too hard for an answer.

An answer might not come right away,

But it might come to you in the form of random memories.

Random,

Or seemingly random reflection.

Maybe about a certain moment in your life or time period in your life that you're still working through.

Why did it happen that way?

Why me?

Maybe if you've experienced any form of severe pain and suffering.

I want to take this moment to also say a lot.

It's very common that we undermine our own pain and suffering.

Something bad happens to us and we immediately jump to,

Well,

There's kids starving in the world or people have it so much worse.

I should be grateful for what I have.

Although that may be true in some aspect,

The worst pain that you have ever felt is the same thing as the worst pain I have ever felt.

It's the same thing as the worst pain your neighbor has ever felt because it is our personal worst.

It is the worst that we know.

So there's no need to should yourself or push away feelings of sorrow for any experiences you've had.

Allow yourself to feel that sorrow.

Allow yourself to mourn the loss of whatever it is.

Maybe a loss of a loved one or maybe the loss of just a moment of your life.

Maybe the loss of youth as you grow older or whatever it is,

Whatever it is for you.

That it is okay to admit when we are in pain.

It's okay to admit when we are struggling and suffering.

In fact,

It is necessary for us to admit it,

Even if it's just to ourselves in our journal.

You got to name it to tame it.

You must bring awareness to the things we want to heal or else how would it be possible to heal if we were unaware that we need to in the first place.

So coming at this from a perspective of pure unconditional love that you would give to your child or anyone that you love really deeply.

Being at yourself,

Your own mind,

Your thoughts,

Your body with that same level of kindness.

And it takes practice.

We are all our worst critics.

But every time we catch ourselves being that worst critic,

And then flipping the script,

Saying it almost until we start to believe it.

And speaking words of love into yourself.

Repeating the following messages to yourself.

I am fully supported on all sides,

In all realms,

In all ways.

It is safe for me to feel my feelings.

At my core,

I am joyful.

I am worthy of joy.

And I am creative.

I am worthy of pleasure.

I am worthy of love.

I am confident in who I am as a human.

I forgive myself for any labeled mistakes in the past.

I forgive myself for being hard on myself with those mistakes.

I pour love into myself,

And therefore into others.

I am deeply compassionate with myself and my journey.

And I am ultimately deeply grateful for all I have experienced,

For all I'm currently experiencing,

And all that I will experience.

I am grateful that my ears can hear.

I am grateful that my eyes can see whatever it is they see.

I am grateful for my sense of touch,

My sense of taste,

My sense of smell,

Especially if you maybe lost those or have still lost those at some point with this virus.

I am grateful for my ability to be honest with myself.

I trust that I always know my truth.

I give myself the time,

Space,

Patience and understanding to discover my truth.

I speak words of love into myself.

I speak deep truths into myself,

Knowing that that deepest truth is that I am love.

I see myself clearly,

And therefore I am allowed to see the world around me clearly.

I am deeply,

Innately connected to the energy that created me,

To my ancestors,

To my spirits and guides,

To all I have ever loved and has ever loved me.

I am surrounded by that love at all times and in all ways.

Take about a minute or so to just sit in this stillness and allow these messages to resonate with you on a deep and cellular level.

Allow this healing to take place.

Know that you are worthy of this healing.

You can begin to consciously call air into the body.

Feel yourself slowly filling up once again,

Maybe with a bit more ease.

Watching the air travel to every corner and edge,

And exit to every corner and edge.

Feel yourself becoming a little bit more energized with each breath in.

You can begin to picture where you are in space,

The room around you,

Where your physical body is located.

If it feels like something you'd like to do,

You could bring your hands to a prayer position at heart center with the palms and fingers making contact with one another.

The thumbs pressing toward your heart and the heart lifting back toward your thumbs.

Just take a moment to tune into the pulse of both palms and feel them pulsing into each other and feeding each other.

Now feel your heart pulsing in toward your thumbs and your thumbs pulsing back toward your heart.

As you remind yourself of all the power that you have right here between both your hands and your heart,

You are limitless.

Simply bowing your head to that power.

Thinking whoever it is that granted you this power.

Thinking your guides,

Your ancestors,

Your spirits.

Thinking everyone in this space for receiving and being here for this practice.

Most importantly,

Thank yourself for showing up,

For continuing to show up and do this work.

May this continue to bring blessings and love into your life.

And may you share this love with everything that you do and bring it to everyone that you see.

Namaste.