Hello and welcome to today's meditation with Sunrise Well.
So let's begin with just simply settling down and focusing in on the breath,
Allowing your breath to come and go naturally without any interruption,
Force or direction.
Just allow the breath to come and go like a wave and if you can just see if you can naturally lengthen the exhale breath.
Let the breath be natural,
Just see if you can exhale an extra second,
An extra beat.
Just allowing your body to relax even more and we're going to engage the parasympathetic nervous system.
This is important especially when we're talking about setting boundaries because it can create a lot of anxiety.
It can make people feel uncomfortable to think about setting boundaries around their space especially if they're not used to doing it.
So we're going to soothe the system.
The first way is by lengthening the exhale so when you are inhaling and exhaling just letting your exhale be an extra beat or two beats longer than your inhale.
The other way we're going to soothe ourselves is with touch.
So just bring your hands up,
Just gently touching down the sides of your face with your fingertips much like a mother or a father would caress a child's face.
Allow yourself that soothing touch across the forehead,
Down the cheek and chin.
Let the touch be gentle,
Warm and soothing.
Resetting the nervous system,
Engaging the relaxation response.
When you're in a state of calm,
Bring to your mind a place,
A time,
A situation at your work or in your home life where you have experienced the need for a boundary where you don't have one.
So you're bringing to your mind a situation where you feel there is a boundary missing.
Maybe your boss is asking for more than you can give.
Maybe a friend is taking more personal time than you're ready to share.
Maybe a spouse or family member is drawing on your energy to the point that you're starting to feel tired or exhausted.
The situation is one where you have a voice inside you saying no but the voice on the outside is saying yes and you're not paying attention.
So a boundary should be drawn and when you bring this to your mind,
Ask yourself how am I feeling right now?
What thoughts am I experiencing in this situation?
And ask yourself what are my values?
What values am I withholding from myself to satisfy someone else's expectations or desires?
What am I sacrificing?
Am I sacrificing my health,
Time with my family,
Personal time?
What am I giving up or saying no to in order to say yes to them?
And sometimes we choose to give up some of those things.
Sometimes we make a choice to sacrifice our time or our energy.
But when these decisions are not made out of free will,
When they're made out of guilt or obligation or the desire to please,
When these decisions are made by ignoring a voice inside that is truly saying no,
Then we are not aligning ourselves with our values.
And if this is done over and over,
Resentment can build.
So for all of the good intentions,
All of the desire to please others,
We can be doing so with an internal mounting pressure of resentment,
Blame,
Guilt,
Anger,
Ultimately sacrificing our emotional well-being and potentially our relationships as well as our health and our sense of balance.
So it is worthwhile asking what your motivation is when you are giving and when you are choosing to ignore your own limits in order to help others.
It's worth asking yourself what your goals are.
Ask yourself what am I giving up or saying no to in order to say yes to them?
Bringing one hand up to your heart or around the center of your chest,
Kind of place where you might be able to feel your heartbeat.
Just trying to bring your focused attention there.
Just focusing on the breath and the subtle movement of the breath in and out of your body.
Your hand around the center of your chest,
Feeling your pulse,
Your heartbeat,
Your own vitality,
Bringing to yourself that sense of compassion that while you have compassion and love and kindness to share with others and you wish no harm,
You wish to help,
You wish to be of service,
To be valuable,
Now it is time to reflect that to yourself.
If you choose you could say these phrases out loud or just in your mind you might want to repeat them or just listen,
Letting the words flow over you.
I will practice love and compassion for myself.
I will listen to my needs and speak up for myself.
I will let others know what my limits are.
I am worthy of respect,
Love and kindness and I deserve to be treated this way.
Keeping your hand on your heart,
Allow your belly to relax and take a deep inhale that fills your belly,
Let your belly expand,
Let your body expand.
Bring the breath right into your chest,
Deeper and deeper and when you feel as though you've filled your body with air,
Hold it just for a second and then open your mouth and release it out.
And then return to normal breathing.
Yes?
Okay baby.
.
