Meditation For Anger (Long Version)

This meditation is for releasing feelings of anger and resentment.

Mindfulness has been known to really help to regulate emotions and intense feelings such as anger.

But I'd like to start talking a little bit about anger and how it's a misunderstood emotion.

You know,

Oftentimes anger is coming from a place of righteousness where it's right and correct anger,

Such as that of anger towards injustices or anger towards crossing of boundaries.

So our intention here isn't to make anger wrong,

But rather to understand it and to explore it and to find a way to work with it so you can feel better,

Calmer,

And at ease.

Another approach is to see how you can use this anger in a useful way to accomplish something good or right for yourself and the world.

Rather than to bottle up anger,

Because as you bottle it up,

It also numbs other feelings and other emotions,

And it really is residing still in your body and having an impact on your body physically and on your mind and your emotions negatively.

Pretending that you're not mad is inauthentic.

People can sense it and more than that,

You can feel it inside.

And as we've mentioned,

It can have an effect on your health.

And oftentimes when we bottle an anger,

As you may have experienced,

It starts to build up until it gets to the point that it can't be contained anymore and it explodes.

So rather than reaching that explosion point,

Our goal here is to be in tune and aware of anger in your body and in your emotions so that you can listen to it,

Explore it,

And work with it when it rises up.

Rather than to have the anger take control and be dangerous or destructive or scary for you and for others.

Here are a few ways to bring mindfulness to anger.

One way is to diffuse the anger before you blow up.

You can see if you can blow steam along the way,

As we say.

So as you feel the sensation of anger in your body,

It might be heat in your chest,

It might be a contraction in your stomach.

I want you to notice what it feels like in your body as you start to notice anger,

The emotion of anger.

And bring presence to your body.

You can also move your body and go on a walk,

Shake it off,

Dance,

Or use the breath to deeply breathe in and out of your body.

You could also use the arts or journaling to express it,

To get it out of you and to externalize it.

To put it in words rather than to have it as just a felt sense in your body,

Building up without any place to get out and to express itself.

So those are some practical ways that you can address it.

First by becoming aware of it and then finding a way to express it so it's not building up inside of you.

Another thing to keep in mind is that often anger can be connected to stories that we have about a situation that might not actually be accurate.

So it's helpful to bring mindfulness to learn more about the situation that we're having a reaction against.

Before jumping to conclusions or making assumptions.

So start by listening to the anger and the story behind the anger and then ask some questions.

Get curious.

Start to get curious about the story and see if it's actually based in the truth.

Or if it's hitting something that's sensitive inside of you that already has a filter that filters situations like this in a negative light.

Is it possible that the thing that was assumed is actually different than how you perceived it?

Or perhaps it's not just so black and white as you thought it was.

So just inviting a perspective or having curiosity can often soften that sensation of anger in your body and your mind and your emotions.

Because it starts to allow flexibility,

Allows other possibilities to be perceived about the situation or the person or the thing towards which the anger is felt.

And finally when you notice that sensation or that emotion of anger try applying compassion,

Empathy,

And love to yourself.

Because often beneath the anger there are feelings of hurt or fear.

And if you can sense these feelings underneath your anger then you can start to calm them,

Listen to them,

And soothe them with your presence.

Sending kindness,

Sending compassion and love to the parts of you that are hurt in that moment.

Because that's possibly what you really,

Really need.

So with all of that in mind let's start a practice with these techniques.

Take a big deep breath and release it through your mouth.

Take a few more deep breaths into your belly.

Signaling calm to your belly and exhaling through your mouth.

If you want you can make a sound.

H-A-H-A.

Breathing in deep into your belly and breathing it all out.

Now bring awareness to whatever is going on inside of you right now.

Give in to the weight of your body to gravity.

Allow your weight to sink into the points of contact on your chair,

The floor,

Or the bed.

And notice what sensations are you feeling right now.

If you notice any tension or resistance towards painful or unpleasant sensation,

Allow yourself to gently turn towards these sensations.

Accept them as best as you can.

And if you begin to tense around your breath let it go just a little more with each out breath.

Soften.

Soften into gravity and soften into your breath.

Notice any thoughts.

And as they come up in your mind see if you can witness them without believing them.

See if you can let them come,

Acknowledge them,

And then let them pass.

Don't get stuck in the content or the story.

Just observe.

So again let your awareness come back to the experience of your breath deep in your body.

Drop into your awareness inside your breath.

Feel how it touches the parts of your body.

Inside your lungs,

Expanding your ribs and your belly,

And the sensation of the breath as it comes out of your mouth or nose.

And allow this to anchor you into this present moment.

And each time you notice that your mind is wandering you can take a breath in,

Acknowledge it,

And as you exhale you can let it go,

Softening your whole body.

And then just notice your relationship to the anger.

Notice how it feels in your body.

Is it heat,

Contraction,

A desire to explode?

Honor it,

Acknowledge it,

And share with it the knowledge that you see it,

You feel it,

And you're willing to hear what it has to say.

And see if there's a message that the anger wants you to know,

Something that it feels that it's doing on your behalf,

For your own good.

That if you didn't feel angry,

Something bad might happen and it's protecting you from this thing.

Just take a moment to listen.

So you just see if anger is protecting you,

And thank it for that role.

And see if there's another way that you can achieve this same objective,

This goal that anger has,

But in a way that feels healthier and more easeful to your nervous system,

To your emotions,

To your whole body.

Thinking creatively,

How can you protect yourself and still be open and spacious and feel good?

This is an opportunity,

A beautiful,

Blessed opportunity to be in tune with what you need and to consider how you can get there in a way that feels good and right to you.

And notice that this is just the beginning.

You're making contact now with the feeling and the energy of anger without judging it,

Without wronging it,

And with a little bit more of curiosity,

Openness,

And spaciousness to understand the message that it holds for you and to find creative ways to be able to have the outcome to reach the goal or the objective that anger has been trying to help you reach.

And for now,

If you can,

Just ask this part that feels this emotion of anger if it's okay to let you relax and feel ease,

And if it will give you permission to feel some peace as you make a commitment to work towards achieving the outcome that anger is holding for you.

So if it wants you,

For example,

To have better boundaries with someone,

You can let anger know that you are committed to have better boundaries in a way that feels good and healthy to you,

Whether that means you get support in doing so or you use tools that you already have.

You can do these without building up anger in your system.

So thank it for the message and ask if it'll step aside and allow you to move forward in peace and more ease.

And if it allows you to do so,

Take one deep breath in and think it and release it for this moment,

At this moment,

In this time.

And if you can,

Just let it rest for a moment.

And if you can,

Just let it rest for a moment.

And if you can,

Just let it rest for a moment.

And if you can,

Thank it and release it for this moment,

At this moment,

In this time.

And with that,

Go ahead and notice your body again and thank yourself for having the courage to explore anger.

Sometimes it's easy to forget that anger can be a healthy emotion,

A messenger,

And it can be useful to express yourself in healthy ways.

And as you bring more mindfulness to situations,

You might find that anger does become a signal or a messenger for you to go in and to notice what do you need in that moment and to meet that need in a healthy and good way.

So again,

Thank yourself for this willingness,

For this sacred work that you're doing,

And take care of yourself as you go to sleep or as you stretch and wake and step into your day.

Have a beautiful day or a beautiful sleep.

Many blessings.

Thank you.

Thank you.