What Other People Think Of You (2 Of 5)

Hello everybody and welcome to this day number two of what other people think of you.

There's a minute and ten seconds till we start.

So this is a live recording from my live event,

Five days,

This is day number two.

And today we're going to be focusing on what it is that's really important in this process.

And that is to be willing to feel everything.

When we're willing to feel everything,

We will become free.

But it takes time,

Practice,

Repetition,

Repetition,

Repetition,

Just like everything else.

So I'm just going to close my eyes.

That's my ritual.

And remind myself why I'm doing this.

I'm doing this to give back.

I'm doing this to make as significant a change in the life of all the people that I meet on my path.

Change my own life for the better.

My children,

Wife.

And really do what I can to change the lives for the better of the generations and many,

Many generations to come.

We are actually live now.

Good morning,

Good morning or good evening.

Depending on where you are on the wall right now.

Could you guys help me out with whether the sound is good or not so good and also the video and also if there's any lag between audio and video.

So just let me know in the comment field if everything is good.

Good morning,

Sandra.

Good to see you back.

All right,

So it sounds like everything is perfect.

Good morning.

Oh,

Actually,

I know that for the most majority of you guys it's evening,

Right?

I know that you're from everywhere in the world.

So hello,

Jenn.

Hello,

Jenny.

Like midnight.

OK,

I'll do what I can to make this a good session to,

You know,

Finish off the day.

So,

Yeah,

930 in California.

I think that all of us or most of us miss traveling,

Right?

And it's a hot topic here.

I'm in Denmark,

Southern part of Denmark.

And well,

Just like everybody else,

We're on lockdown.

So we can only travel in our minds and imagine whatever beach we want to go to.

But even the kids are struggling now.

They want to get out,

You know,

Get some more inputs.

Traveling is really going to be a big thing.

Well,

Jenn is asking whether Denmark isn't one of the happiest countries in the world.

And yes,

We have been for many years.

There's different criteria that you measure that on.

But the thing is that I think that Denmark is very much like.

It's mainly the thing about feeling safe.

We have a social welfare system that is very,

Very good and education is paid for.

It means that we pay like 47 percent in taxes.

Right.

So so it's paid for indirectly.

But it creates,

You know,

It creates a safety net.

And there's a smaller gap between people that are not with resources and people that are with resources.

So it's more solidarity in that way.

So but listen,

Let's go ahead.

We have half an hour.

I might push it a bit.

So so if you're coming,

You know,

If you need to go,

Just go.

We have three more days after this one.

So just to share for you guys that were not here yesterday.

This one is what we're going to be going through.

I might be a bit optimistic and we're not going to go through every one each one of them.

But today it is moving down to this one.

And with this one,

I mean this one.

So the heart is like the core of it all for me.

And since you're here,

I guess that that you're also seeking,

I guess that you might be struggling with.

Emotions,

Thoughts about what other people think of you,

You might be holding back because of these thoughts,

These convictions.

So so what I'm here to do is to share whatever I have learned in the past 17 years practicing this training to become a psychotherapist 13 years ago.

And since,

No,

Sorry,

Nine years ago and then been working with that the past many,

Many,

Many years.

So I'm here to to share whatever I can create whatever value for you.

So hopefully and this is my my why this is my my my purpose is to make a significant change as possible in your life.

And and hopefully in the lives of the children that you might be in,

You know,

Your own children or the people's children and looking forward seven generations.

What are we right now doing that will enable these kids to become even more fulfilled adults,

Happier adults,

More purpose driven and pass that on as their legacy.

So what we will be working on today is is the absolute core thing for me in this work of letting go of what other people might think of me.

And it actually goes very much hand in hand with the drama triangle that we were talking about yesterday.

So before I tell you what the thing that we're going to be working on is,

I just want to share this with you again.

Again,

I mean,

Repetition is the mother of skill,

Right?

So so I'm going to be repeating a lot of stuff and do ask questions in the comment field.

Yeah,

Exactly.

I actually actually audio recorded yesterday and it's already waiting for approval.

So it's probably going to be,

You know,

Published in a couple of days and I'm going to publish these all days ongoing.

So what happens with the drama triangle and the present circle up here is that there's a line we can either be below the line in contraction or we can be above a line in expansion.

It's not that it's wrong to be below the line and it's right to be above the line,

But it definitely feels better and more fulfilling to be above the line.

So but we need to also accept that that as humans,

We are emotionally not really that developed yet.

We just need to look at the politics,

Right?

And the state of the world.

So emotionally,

Our age,

Including mine,

Is not I'm 47.

It's not always 47.

We drop to the skill level of the certain competence.

One feels stressed,

Which means that I will go from being 47 to being 12 years old or eight years old when I have discussions with my wife.

You can probably relate to that.

So we all have an emotional age that will bring us below the line into a victim role,

Into a hero role,

Which is often a pleasing role.

So for you that are here that read this topic,

There's a pretty good chance that what you do is that you go out and you smile and you please.

And you put that facade on because that's what you know feels good.

But it's only on a short term that that feels good,

Because when we get back home,

We need to hear ourselves with whatever preferred substance eating or watching or doing something that will ease our stress level and for us to feel good again.

But often when that happens,

We go into the inner villain and then we start being negative to ourselves.

Why did it do that?

And if my substance is eating right,

That's what I did since I was a kid eating stuff in order to feel good.

But then I started being negative and,

You know,

Being really harsh on myself,

Talking down to myself.

And then I went into the villain or sorry,

Into the victim and then up to the hero again,

Doing it over and over again.

So this is the vicious cycle below the line.

It's very much about trying to be right,

Blaming or feeling fear.

And we will do that internally,

But also externally.

So why am I sharing this with you?

First off,

We can't do anything if we're not aware of what's going on in meditation.

We can use that to,

You know,

Really experience the contraction.

There was a question yesterday that didn't get to answer,

So I can do that right now.

So really experience the contraction.

If you don't really know what I mean,

Then you can just cleanse your fist.

And just notice what happens with your nervous system and your breathing.

It stops.

So just noticing that contraction will enable us to understand that we are now below the line.

And what I asked you to do yesterday was to make a long list with what is it I think that other people think of me.

Just write down,

Write down,

Write down,

Because that will point into this.

It will point into whether I'm being a victim for somebody who's thinking good or bad.

And it's usually only bad when we feel like this.

Right.

So that contraction is so important to to notice that one.

And the reason why I'm closing my eyes is that I've practiced it quite a lot.

So first off,

It was uncomfortable doing it.

But now doing it,

You know,

With you guys and practicing into this is important that when we close eyes,

We close down 80 percent of the stimulants from outside and we turn our,

You know,

The beam,

The light beam,

We turn it inwards.

And we're going to start noticing,

Am I contracted?

How's my breathing?

And the minute that I experience that I'm contracted,

I know that something is going on.

I'll go back to the above the line later.

So when I do these sessions,

I do them talking,

Meditating,

Talking,

Meditating.

So let's go for my my the primary thing that we're going to be practicing today,

But also moving on forward.

This is the most important door for me personally to to freedom from what other people think of me.

And I will I will you know,

We will meditate on this.

We'll use the stuff that you found out yesterday.

But be willing to feel everything.

The thing is that we are not willing to feel everything.

Quite the opposite.

The contraction is there because there's stuff we're feeling that we don't want to feel.

And often we don't want to feel them because especially in our childhood,

We've had experiences again and again that made us feel really uncomfortable.

Maybe even traumatizing experiences that created a trauma inside of us.

And it doesn't need to be stuff that is really horrible.

Traumas are created in many different ways.

And sometimes it's also what didn't happen to you that can create traumas.

So the point is here that there's stuff that we're not willing to feel.

And that is what creates the contraction.

When there's when we have thoughts on other people's behalf and we send that back to us,

We are the creators of that,

Not them.

We are assuming,

We are,

You know,

We are having thoughts that are on our behalf.

We are responsible for that.

We are the creators of that.

So there's stuff that we don't want to feel.

Let me know if you can relate.

So let me let me know from from the if if any of you guys that wrote stuff down yesterday in regards to what thoughts you might think that other had about you.

What is the emotion that you don't want to feel?

It's OK.

Yeah,

It is difficult.

But when when something is difficult.

It's good.

When something is difficult,

It's us using the pain into this rocket that's going for the stars that we want to achieve,

Right?

When something is difficult,

We are kind of saying yes to wanting to feel what's there.

So it's small steps,

Right?

That that's where the the elephant comes in here,

Taking a small step at the time,

Taking a small bite of that elephant.

It's so important.

Just take it easy with us.

People slow is fast.

So there's rejection,

Shame,

Pain,

Betrayal,

Being unstable.

Rosanna doesn't want to be rejected.

Who can say I?

Nobody wants to be rejected.

Right?

It's such a crazy feeling.

Vulnerability,

Loss,

Thinking I'm weird,

Unlikable.

So all of these different things.

Do they bring you above the line where you expand or do they bring you below the line?

When we see the model,

It's quite easy,

Right?

Abandonment,

Loneliness.

I can relate.

Yeah,

Exactly.

It brings us below,

Right?

So it doesn't bring us into.

Yeah,

Often it brings us into the victim.

So victim is not negative.

It's just,

You know,

Being honest that right now I feel victimized because of these thoughts,

These feelings.

But what we need to wake up and and really realize is that we are the ones creating this.

We might have had traumatic experiences as children,

But we are the ones recreating every second,

Every feeling.

We are recreating it all the time.

And that's just so important for us to understand that things might have happened to us.

But we are in each and every now responsible for how we deal with this.

And it's not that this is so difficult.

I mean,

I've been trapped in this vicious cycle for the most of my life.

I've been spending the last 17 years understanding.

I'm not saying that it takes 17 years or more.

I'm just saying that it's repetition,

Repetition,

Repetition.

And for us to use these models and use this understanding and this falling in love with ourselves.

And trying to understand what is it actually that's going on inside of us.

Those were a lot of words.

So let's go into some meditation.

So what we're going to be meditating on is this one,

Right?

We need to start understanding what it means for each and every one of us that's in here.

What does it mean for us to be willing to feel everything?

We need to start,

You know,

Because how can I feel something?

How can I be willing to feel something that's really bad or that really feels me?

That makes me unhappy or makes me frightened or something like that?

Well,

We already created it inside of us.

We did that by trying to reject something that we created.

Something that is,

You know,

It's double the work,

Right?

We created it and now we're pushing it away.

So let's see if we can turn our way of looking at this pain so we can start using it.

So this contraction,

Not to push it away,

But breathe in,

Take it in.

Small steps.

So let's meditate.

Let's close our eyes.

I'll keep my eyes open.

That's what I'm practicing these days.

So go ahead and close your eyes if it feels better,

If it feels right.

And let's remember that this stuff doesn't need to be,

You know,

Hard or make it even heavier.

So a small smile on your lips,

Remembering that we're just practicing,

We're just trying to learn,

Be inspired.

Just calm breathing.

Natural calm breathing.

And we will enter this from a mental level,

More than from an emotional level.

So we won't be going into like heavy stuff.

So we'll start with a question asking ourselves and being honest with ourselves.

Am I willing to feel everything?

Just breathe in on that question.

Am I willing to feel everything?

And breathe out on that question.

And it might be a yes,

It might be a maybe or I don't know or no,

But just accept that answer.

Am I willing to feel everything?

Just noticing your breathing,

Small smile,

Knowing that you are safe,

Everything is okay.

Am I willing to feel everything?

And here comes the second question.

Am I willing to practice feeling everything?

Am I willing to practice feeling everything?

And just be open to whatever arises.

Also if it's emotions,

Just let them arise,

But don't go into them,

Just experience them.

Just be with them.

Am I willing to practice feeling everything?

So the last question that you can ask yourself.

What emotion am I willing to practice feeling today?

What emotion am I willing to practice feeling today?

So what we are able to do right now is to make a conscious decision,

Which means that we will be moving from victim to creator,

Which is above the line.

We will be going from villain,

Which is below the line into challenger,

Which is above the line.

We will be going from the hero,

The pleaser,

To the coach,

The support,

Above the line.

That's what we're doing right now.

By deciding which one thing that we want to practice today,

Which one feeling will we be practicing feeling today.

This one does need to be a heavy one.

So just notice the shift inside of you from maybe feeling contraction about having a difficulty wanting to feel everything,

To deciding that yes,

You want to or you are willing to practice,

And then to make a decision on which one thing,

One emotion that you want to practice feeling today.

So we are big circle right now.

I don't know how many we are meditating right now,

But imagine all of us being in one big circle that we actually met physically.

You signed up for this course and we were actually able to meet physically and now look around on everybody else in that circle.

Everybody's smiling.

Everybody's there because they want to understand,

Learn,

Let go,

Especially let go of what other people might be thinking of them.

Just be looking at their faces.

And now I'm asking everybody.

If there's anybody who thinks that this is easy and everybody's shaking their heads,

No,

It's not easy.

And now I'm asking everybody in this circle to hold hands.

And already there that there might be a contraction because holding hands is very intimate.

But we're there to learn.

Just imagine that you are holding hands with everybody who's in here right now.

And you can feel that connection.

And just to break that circle of,

You know,

Being too serious about this stuff,

I'm asking everybody to do a wave with their hands and everybody's just laughing,

Feeling good about themselves and being together.

And this this is a universal thing.

Everybody has this fear of what other people might think of them.

We're just connecting,

Holding hands.

It becomes easier.

Now just take a small breath in.

Let go of this visualization.

Start getting ready to let go of this meditation.

Maybe moving your body a bit.

Stretching.

OK.

This stuff is universal.

Actually,

As I mentioned yesterday,

It's so important that we think about what other people are thinking of us.

Why?

Because we are primarily animals still trying to figure out how to work this neocortex,

This new brain and have it work with everything else.

And it's so fundamental for us to be a part of something.

So it's important for us that we have this sense of situation,

This sense of,

You know,

Trying to understand what other people are signaling,

Because it's important for us to be a part of this tribe.

But the thing is that when it becomes very unbalanced because of child experiences or things that we've experienced in our teens or something like that,

We tend to associate that into our whole being.

So I am wrong or I am ugly or I am unintelligent.

I am I am I am because for our brain is so important,

Just our brain has one function or many functions,

But it's there to make us survive.

So that could be emotionally,

Physically,

Socially,

Professionally,

Spiritually.

So we actually do what we need to do.

It's just out of balance.

We're using too much time on thinking about what other people might be thinking of us.

Too much time.

So by working with this,

Being willing to feel everything,

We will start identifying which core emotions do I not want to feel.

And by practicing this,

I will start being able to feel it,

Which means that that component of fear that comes back to us when we have thoughts on other people's behalf will start being less and less intensive.

It will be more and more like a warning lamp.

Like you wouldn't go crazy with your car,

You know,

The lamp blinking,

Then the doors open,

Right?

But you would if the engine lamp starts lighting up.

So what I'm saying here is that right now we are we are reacting to our thoughts on other people's behalf,

As if the engine lamp suddenly is lighting and something really bad is going on.

So we need to start lowering that intensity by using our calm breathing,

By using our experience of I want to feel this no matter what it is,

Because I created it.

I hope that this makes sense.

Let me just know if there's any any questions or anything like that right now.

Yeah.

And Kate,

The thing with our mind,

As I mentioned yesterday,

Is that I mean,

We are the creators of all of this,

All of these things that we think about ourselves,

Our identity,

Personality.

We are the ones every day,

You know,

Making sure that everything is as it usually is.

So by using visualizations,

We're going to be working with resource persons tomorrow.

So so having this image of us standing in a circle,

Everybody knowing that it's we can relate to each other,

Use that.

You can use that also when something arises in your mind.

Bring up this circle,

Bring up me,

Bring up,

You know,

Everybody else who's in here as something that we can use in order to calm down our nervous system.

One thing that I mentioned yesterday was this book,

Which is called How Emotions Are Made.

And it's like when I when I stumble upon things that I know work,

I just repeat,

Repeat,

Repeat,

Repeat,

Repeat,

Because I know that that is how I can learn stuff.

Right.

So what this book is pointing to is that and what is so important about this stuff is that we need to understand that we are creating emotions in every moment.

So emotions are not something fear.

The fear emotion is not something that we just it's the same all the time.

We are creating it in each and every now,

Which means that if I'm creating emotion based on what I'm anticipating is going to happen,

I'm basing them on something from the past,

Something that I'm then re-activating and I'm not really present.

So being willing to feel everything means that I will say yes and then I will look at this with respect,

Respect as in looking at it as if it's new.

So having that emotion arise and being open and being,

You know,

Wow,

This is just such a powerful experience of feeling what I will label as rejected.

Breathe into that.

It is so counterintuitive,

But really be open to doing this.

Breathe into it.

Don't don't look at it as something like the boogeyman.

If we all the time think that it's something bad,

It will be bad.

Let's flip it.

Let's look at it as something that is very important for us to use in our personal spiritual development.

Let me just see here.

Yeah.

And Angelica,

I'm so glad that you wrote this.

What I'm so focused on is how can we take these things that we learn here on Inside Timer that we learn in other aspects of the meditation space where we can sit down with other people and,

You know,

Close eyes and feel really good.

And then we walk out of that room and then we,

You know,

The reality from outside hits us and there's a bill and that's whatever.

And then we contract.

So how can we integrate what we learn here out here?

And that's why I'm giving you these small things to do every day,

Because the way of,

You know,

Integrating stuff like this is to practice the bridge.

So we will start being the same person in all situations.

I was an insanely good actor until I turned 30.

And what I mean by that is that we can be honest with ourselves and start looking at how good of an actor am I?

Meaning how honest am I actually with whom I am?

There's a tendency for people like me that tend to have a lot of thoughts on what other people might be thinking,

Not as much as before,

But still.

There's a tendency to go into the hero role and then there's the smile and everything is good.

So I'm acting.

But the thing is that good actors become so good actors that they lose themselves.

So that facade that we put on and that,

You know,

Social role is necessary,

That personality is necessary,

But it can just have a really high cost,

Which is that we can feel empty inside.

So that's what me personally has been my story,

Losing myself and coming back to understanding who am I?

Which parts of me did I reject because this wasn't what people wanted.

This was what people wanted.

They wanted the nice and charming and funny and all of this stuff,

Giving,

Giving,

Giving.

But I was driven by a victim.

I was driven by unconscious stuff that I needed to work with.

So one thing that you can also be aware of,

And it might sound a bit harsh,

But are you acting?

And if yes,

If you can say,

Yes,

Honestly,

I know that I'm acting,

I'm not really being true to myself.

So which one step can you take in order to act a little bit less?

So we all have this acting part because it's part of socializing.

It's part of maintaining the norm because we don't want to step out of that.

It can,

It can mean that,

That we will be rejected.

So,

So being honest to ourselves,

I mean,

Am I acting?

And which one thing can I start doing to let go of that acting?

And then this is where we enter.

Oh,

No.

What if they see who I really am?

Because we've,

We've,

You know,

Depressed that,

Pushed it down.

So we don't even know how that feels.

And this is such a beautiful journey because this is where we can start discovering ourselves and falling in love with these hidden parts of ourselves and start making decisions that will,

You know,

Really enrich ourselves.

And as I mentioned,

What's so important for me is how can we pass this on to our kids so that when we look seven generations,

Like four,

We can be so proud of,

Of us doing the stuff that we're doing right now.

So time is flying.

Let's do another meditation and then we'll,

We'll finish off for today.

Really good question,

Jen.

What about if we're being true to ourselves,

But not open with others?

Well,

Unless it creates contraction inside of you,

Which I guess that it does not being open to others,

Then I would question whether you are actually being true to yourself.

It's not that we're going to go into specifics here.

You're welcome to write me afterwards.

But what I love about us humans is that we can create any constellation,

Just as long as it fits into our narrative and we can feel safe,

Then we will tell,

Then we will tell ourselves any kind of story to feel safe.

But we might be betraying ourselves.

I at least did for many years and still do.

And then I realize,

And then again,

Repetition.

So let's do,

Let's do the final meditation here.

So if you're most comfortable with closing your eyes,

Please do go ahead and do that.

I'm going to do mine with,

With open eyes.

With time,

Open eye meditation is a really good way of building that bridge between the meditation room and family space or friend space or workspace.

And the same goes with breathing in and out through the nose.

That's what I primarily practice.

Because then we,

Then there's no big change between what we do in meditation room and in the workspace or public space in general.

So small smile on our lips.

Relaxed breathing,

Calm breathing.

Reminding ourselves that we're just practicing small steps.

And really have that smile,

You know,

Affect your eyes so they are smiling too and your heart.

If there's any tension,

Any thoughts,

Just let it go.

Maybe you can hear your heartbeat.

Maybe you can feel it.

We're not going anywhere.

We're just right here.

Just right here all the time.

So scenarios might change.

Time might change.

Days might change.

But we're still here all the time.

No matter where we go,

Where we are,

What time it is.

Here we are.

And see if you can invite one feeling which you know that you have a difficulty feeling.

Not letting it in,

But see what happens if you can have that feeling knock on your door,

As if it was a good old friend coming to visit that you don't really want to have come in.

So just notice and just really hold on to that calm breathing being here.

Not going everywhere,

Anywhere,

Especially not into the what we call the past.

Just maintaining that calm breathing,

You know,

Really being willing to practice feeling anything,

Everything.

Just listen to that emotion personified in somebody knocking on your door.

You might have one of these holes with this spy eye in the door where you can look at that emotion and see who it is.

Oh no,

It's the fear of rejection knocking on the door.

Don't open the door.

We'll take that step tomorrow.

But just notice that you are deciding to be in contact with this emotion.

You're deciding to practice it.

You have a calm breathing.

You have a small smile on your lips.

You're just here.

You're not going anywhere,

Especially not into the past.

You're really looking at these emotions,

Looking at yourself with new fresh eyes.

You're here.

You're now.

Experiencing anything that arises as if it's brand new.

Not even knowing that there's a label called rejection or called shame or called fear.

But just experiencing the emotion as an intense form of energy.

Really being curious to,

Wow,

What is this emotion?

Wow,

It feels intense.

Not going below the line.

Just being above the line in an expansion,

Being curious.

Not labeling it.

Just really looking at it again.

Let's finish this session off with us imagining that everybody in here right now meditating without really knowing how many we are.

Just imagining this big circle again.

We might have grown since we made it 15 minutes ago.

And just just look around and all these people,

You know,

Meeting physically for this workshop,

For this coming together,

Understanding ourselves a bit better.

And all of us wanting to develop and pass that on to our kids or whomever is going to be here when we are not.

Whomever is going to be here in seven generations when we are not making doing that work now,

Which is hard.

Just looking at all these faces,

These smiles and feeling anxious or whatever emotions are in there.

And now just.

Taking the hand of the person to the right of you and taking the hand of the person to the left of you.

Without any words,

Just closing your eyes.

And feeling that big circle.

And whatever emotions arise.

Don't label them.

Just really experience them as brand new.

Not knowing what they are,

Just experiencing them.

Let's just take a minute now in silence and just be breathing in calmly,

Breathing out and really feeling those hands.

And even though it might seem a bit weird,

Just take down your hands where you're sitting right now and just imagine holding those hands.

So in silence,

But opening your eyes and this.

Visualization,

Looking at everybody who's around you.

And just as if you were wearing virtual reality goggles,

Just look around on all these people.

Their smiles.

Their faces,

Everybody's the same.

Take a deep breath.

Really feel that you are seeing and that you're being seen.

It's a big circle,

Many faces.

Many stories.

And now finalizing this circle,

Asking one person to start with just giving a small squeeze with the right hand and everybody feels that squeeze and they pass it on,

Passing on the squeeze.

So it goes around the whole circle and everybody's laughing.

So now just slowly open your eyes.

Hold on to this emotion.

Hold on to specifically the wish to see all emotions as if they are brand new,

Which they are.

That's what science tells us,

Is that we are creating these emotions all the time.

We're starting from scratch and building them and creating them.

Thanks so much for being out there.

I feel as if this is an even,

You know,

For me,

I've been working with this for many years,

As I mentioned to start with.

I'm working as a psychotherapist every day,

Children,

Couples,

Parents,

Groups,

Families.

And of course,

It's because I'm in this branch that I see all of these people struggling with this.

But I also work in major companies like you probably know Lego,

Lego education.

I've done work for them.

I've done work for the major banks in Denmark,

Nordea and Denske Bank.

So what I'm saying here,

That no matter where we are,

It's 100 percent people.

And 100 percent people have the same necessity of feeling seen,

Heard and met,

No matter what kind of personality type.

Some might be less emotional,

Others might be more emotional,

But we all need to feel as part of something or else we will start feeling lonely,

That emptiness.

So the reason for me sharing this is that first off,

It's so important to understand that this is normal.

What we're feeling,

You know,

Making having these thoughts on other people's behalf,

Having thoughts about what people might be thinking of us is completely normal.

We just need to start balancing it.

You know,

We need to start taking the intensity out of it,

Sorting out what is right,

What could be true,

What could not be true.

And as I mentioned yesterday,

I am going to give you a challenge before this week is over.

I am going to ask you to go to one person that you are having thoughts on behalf of and asking them if this could be true,

What you're thinking.

Because we can be talking,

We can,

You know,

We can do lots of courses.

We can we can we can talk and we can talk and we can meditate and meditate and everything will be good.

But then we go out there and it's the same.

So we need to start building that bridge where we start integrating and we start become,

You know,

Letting go of that.

What I call the the acting,

Letting go of that and becoming more and more true to ourselves.

The emotions that we have started saying yesterday,

Those emotions flicked flipping them.

So we understand them better.

Looking at them,

The emotions that make us contract from a new perspective,

Working from the below the line to above the line.

So we're about to finish off.

I scheduled 30 minutes,

But I love doing this.

So,

Yeah.

Thanks a lot for being there.

And what I'm suggesting challenging you to do is to.

If you haven't done this list from yesterday,

If you're new to the group here,

Make a long list with everything that you think that people might be thinking of you.

From that,

You can extract one word,

Which is the core emotion that you do not want to feel.

So up here,

There was,

You know,

A lot of of words which were like rejection or shame or feelings that we don't want to feel.

So extracting one word and then for you guys,

You know,

Everybody can do this today as well.

But but use maybe one or two times during the day today where you.

Sit down and you invite this feeling in,

But take away the label,

Take away away the letters shame or rejection and really just see it as if it's a new person that you are experiencing.

See it as a brand new emotion that you are experiencing.

So that's that's what I'm challenging you on today,

Suggesting that you do today.

So sitting down a couple of times and really just connecting and it doesn't have to be for more than maybe a minute or two.

But really see if you can avoid the contraction when feeling the emotion.

That is how we recreate story.

That is why how we recreate our narrative to being something which is OK feeling.

OK,

So,

Guys,

Thank you so much for the donations.

Shereen,

I'm going to be going back into the drama triangle,

The line and the present circle.

I am recording this.

I already,

You know,

Sent over the first day one.

So that's going to be published probably within the next couple of days.

So I am recording all of these five words.

Thanks a lot,

Kate.

Really appreciate that.

It's so important for me to to to share with you that that.

We can all do this.

And yes,

It does require that we we step out to out into the unknown.

It does require that we for me,

For example,

I have Nelson Mandela right here behind me right now in my imagination.

That's what we're going to be working on tomorrow.

What resource person?

He's standing right here with his left hand on my right shoulder.

And I'm hearing his words from the speech that he did,

Where what I extracted as the most important thing,

Actually,

The first psychotherapist that I had,

Klaus Nielsen,

He said he gave me this speech.

And the one thing that was so important for me was that we are not afraid of our dark.

We are afraid of our light.

And nobody gains anything from us being small.

From from us being big.

So the reason why I'm sharing this with you is because my lifelong struggle with what other people thought of me was keeping me.

I was keeping me imprisoned from what I'm actually here to do,

Which is to share,

Which is to make a significant change in all the lives of the people that I meet.

That's that's my my purpose.

So me keeping me small doesn't help anybody.

Me challenging myself and doing these live events helps me.

Hopefully it helps some of you.

And I know for sure that,

You know,

What I'm doing on a day to day basis with meditation and psychotherapy,

Groups for men and stuff like that,

It helps people that are parents that have kids.

And that's my main purpose,

Is to do something now that we can pass on for the next seven generations,

Because then it's not about me and you.

We just small,

Tiny pieces in all of this,

Right?

Like Eckhart Tolle says,

We just like in the big scheme so we can be big things in our lives and in the lives of kids,

Of parents.

What we can pass on and we all have light to give.

We just need to start realizing what's standing in the way of this.

Thank you so much for sharing.

Thank you so much for the donations,

As I mentioned also yesterday.

Inside Time is doing a huge job and continue,

You know,

Sharing things and opening up for things.

It is,

Of course,

A combination between money and heart.

It is for all of us.

On my behalf,

What I do with the money is that I transfer them into the Big Heart skateboarding project,

Which is here in Denmark,

Which is enabling kids that don't have the resources to buy skateboards or buy shoes or pads or helmets,

That they have the access to that and they have access to skateboard teachings.

So it's a skateboard school with at this point 534 kids that we have in Denmark,

All learning all of this.

So thank you so much for today,

Everybody.

I really appreciate you guys being out there.

Please do,

You know,

Write me if there's anything I will do my very best to answer the same day.

Yeah,

And you too.

Have a beautiful day,

Everybody.

So Caroline,

Helika,

Michelle,

Roseanne.

Thanks a lot for that donation,

Roseanne.

Again,

Again,

Again,

Kate,

Dee.

Thank you,

Everybody.

Jen,

Darby,

Everybody.

Have a great day.

And as I mentioned,

I'm here for the next three days also.

Same stuff.

New angles,

New training.

Repetition is the mother of skill.

So let's just continue repeating.

Thank you so much,

Everybody.

See you tomorrow.

Bye bye.

So that was the end of day two on what other people think of you.

And what's so great for me is that,

You know,

Creating these drawings and having dreams about this stuff,

I woke up with that,

You know,

That dream of how important and as a core thing for me personally to be willing to feel everything,

Because that really makes so many things so much easier.

Is everything then,

You know,

Dandy and everything is good?

No,

Life is still hard or can be,

But it definitely makes it a little less hard.

More love.

More loving everything.

So,

Guys,

Thank you so much for being a part of this journey.

Let's all practice that.

Let's do what we can to share,

Show our light.

Stop being small,

Being big.

That is who we are.

That is my strong belief.

So thank you so much.

Thank you.

Bye bye.