Our emotions color our lives with varying palates.
Like the weather,
They come and go,
Influencing our mental state with their particular vibration.
Sometimes we feel a strong emotion in reaction to something that has happened.
Hi there,
My name is Shamaila and I welcome you to the meditation called showing compassion to your difficult emotions.
In today's meditation,
We will invite difficult emotions in our awareness.
Sometimes a difficult emotion hangs around longer than we would like.
And we begin to wonder when it will release its hold on us.
This is often true of deep grief stemming from loss,
For example,
Or lingering sense of anger over a past event.
When we allow ourselves to feel our emotions fully as they come up,
They start to recede naturally and we start to feel a bit lighter.
But when an emotion haunts us,
It is often because we are afraid of really feeling it.
Emotions like despair or rage are powerful and it is natural to want to hold them at bay.
Certainly,
We don't want to let them take us over so that we say or do things that we later regret.
When we are facing this kind of situation,
It can be helpful to ask,
How long do I need to sit with these emotions?
How long do I need to feel these emotions before they can pass?
If you ask sincerely and wait,
An answer will come.
Setting a time limit on your engagement with that difficult emotion may be just the technique you need to face it fully.
When you have a sense of how much time you need to spend,
Set a timer.
Sit down and make yourself available to the emotion that has been nagging you.
All you have to do is feel it.
Avoid getting attached to it or rejecting it.
Simply let it ebb and flow within you.
Emotions are by their nature cyclical.
So you can trust that just as one reaches its apex,
It will pass.
Each time you sit with its presence without either repressing or acting out,
You will find that difficult emotion was a catalyst for much needed emotional healing.
So let's begin.
Find a posture that is comfortable for you and take a few deep breaths that take you into a state of deep relaxation.
Now call to mind a difficult emotion that you have felt recently.
It could be anger,
Greed,
Jealousy,
Fear,
Resentment,
Sense of betrayal.
Notice how you feel about that emotion.
Are you ashamed of it?
Do you dislike yourself for it?
Do you feel you should have been able to prevent it from arising?
Do you consider yourself in some way bad or wrong for this feeling?
See what happens if you translate that sense of bad,
Wrong,
Defective,
Terrible to painful.
To recognize that this state of anger,
Fear,
Or jealousy is actually a painful state.
It is a state of suffering.
See what happens to your relationship to that feeling as you make this translation.
Take that emotion now.
See what it feels like in your body.
The anger,
The fear,
The jealousy.
Now hold it with some kindness,
Some compassion.
Observe the various sensations.
Maybe it's tightening in your chest.
A constriction.
Notice the nature of the compassion which was holding it,
Surrounding it.
The pain is there and the compassion is there.
Notice the effect if that sense of bad and wrong and terrible comes back.
Now imagine someone you know filled with that same emotion.
Jealousy,
Anger,
Fear,
Greed.
Notice what happens as you describe to yourself those states of emotion as bad,
Wrong,
Terrible,
Horrible.
What happens when you start to see them as states of pain or suffering?
You can reflect on the fact that we can't seem to control the arising of these feelings.
We didn't invite them.
We didn't wish for them.
As conditions come together,
They arise and we see our own greed,
Jealousy,
Hatred and so on.
We don't need to be overcome by them,
Defined by them,
Fall into them or act from these feelings.
We're actually not able to prevent them from arising.
This is just in the nature of things for ourselves and for others.
We can't commit ourselves to try to see them very quickly,
To recognize their painful nature,
To have compassion for ourselves and to let go.
We can't commit ourselves to remember that when someone else is acting badly,
The state that is likely motivating them is a state of greed,
Of hatred,
Of fear.
These are painful states and we can have compassion for them.
Even as we may take strong action to try to change the situation and to protect ourselves or take care of someone else,
Our motive in doing so need not be a sense of disgust or aversion,
But it can be that recognition of the pain they too are in.
Now bring up a joyous feeling,
Perhaps a memory,
A plan,
An encounter and feel the emotion within that sense of delight,
Gratitude,
Wonder,
Whatever it might be.
See where you feel it in your body.
What does it feel like?
How is it changing?
Can you experience it fully in the present moment without leaning forward into the future?
I've got to get some more.
I can't let it go away.
If you see those kind of reactions in your mind,
Settle back.
Come back into your body.
Feel the different sensations being born of that emotion in this moment.
Bring up a difficult emotion.
Let's say it's anger.
In the same way,
Feel it in your body.
The circumstances,
The provocation,
The plans for revenge don't really matter.
In this meditation,
We are focused on the feeling itself.
So apart from the story,
What does the anger feel like in your body?
Or does it feel like it's a mood?
It's not just one thing.
It may be moments of sadness,
Moments of fear,
Moments of frustration,
Moments of helplessness.
Just watch them arise and pass away to make up this emotion we call anger.
Notice that neither the joyful state or the angry state is permanent,
Fixed or unchanging.
These states are always changing and are evanescent.
You may find your attention going back into some story.
First I'm going to do this.
Then I'm going to do that.
If you can recognize that,
Just let go of it.
Come back to your direct experience in the moment.
What am I feeling right now?
And what does it feel like?
What is happening?
What is its nature?
And even after you have finished the formal session of meditation,
See if you can bring some of the skill into your encounters throughout the day.
What am I feeling right now?
What does it feel like?
What's its nature?
Letting go of thought in this meditation,
You can sit comfortably or lie down.
Close your eyes or if you are keeping them open,
Just find a spot in front of you to rest your gaze and let it go.
Center your attention on the feeling of the in and out breath at the nostrils,
At the chest or at the abdomen,
Just the normal natural breath.
And as you feel the sensations of the breath,
You can make a very quiet mental notation of breath.
Breath within breath.
Breath within breath.
And breath without breath.
And then when a thought arises that's strong enough to take your attention away from the breath,
Simply note it as not breath.
It's not the breath.
And you can recognize it in just that way.
It doesn't matter if it's the most beautiful thought in the world or the most terrible thought in the world.
The one you would never disclose to anybody else.
It is simply not the breath.
You don't have to judge yourself.
You don't have to get lost in the thought or elaborate it.
You recognize it's not the breath.
Very gently let go and bring your attention back to the feeling of the breath.
It's breath and not breath.
Some of your thoughts may be tender,
Caring.
Some may be very cruel,
Hurtful.
They are not the breath.
See them.
Recognize them.
Let them go.
Bring your attention back to the feeling of the breath.
The thoughts are like clouds moving through the sky.
Some are very light and fluffy looking.
Very inviting.
And some are quite ominous and threatening.
But they are not the breath.
Just let them go.
Our habitual tendency is to grab onto a thought,
Build an entire world around it,
Or push it away.
Struggle against it.
But here we stay even,
Balanced,
Calm.
We simply recognize it's not the breath.
Very gently let it go.
Bring your attention back one breath at a time.
And when you feel ready,
You can open your eyes and relax.
Thank you very much for meditating with me today.
Remember,
When we take the time to sit with our emotions fully,
It will become apparent that these emotions are a catalyst for much needed healing.
Sending you love and peace.
Salaam.
.
